Hi moms...
My 4 year old has been fully potty trained for about 1 year. Yet, recently, she has begun wetting more (at night and even a few times at preschool) and even had a BM when we put her into a pull-up (due to the frequent wetting)
I cut out her drinks after dinner (7:30) and she always goes before bed. She doesn't have a UTI, nor overactive bladder (we had her checked).
She also knows that it's not "good behavior" (primarily because we non-punitively reinforce that "big girls go potty in the toilet".) I'm really trying to be proactive and supportive.
any thoughts?
Thanks moms.. (Especially Julie and Shira. It's good to know that others have been there.)
I took the advice of many and took her out for a "date" and chatted with her. she didn't admit to any bullying, fears, et al. I reinforced that she is not in trouble, yet needs to tell mommy if she feels scared. it's been 2 nights without an accident.
I think, despite the frustration, I will continue to encourage her to potty in the toilet. Also my wording may have been perceived a bit "negative", I strongly believe that children can learn appropriate behaviors. Although accidents do happen (which I am very understandinng about) what I found concerning was that the "accidents" became more frequent, to include her sitting up, awake and pooping in her pull-up, instead of going to the rest room. I managed to get through one kid, so I'm sure we'll get through this.
Thanks for the advice, this too shall pass...
Y'know . . . it may not be a "behavior" problem.
It may be a physical problem.
I'm glad you're being proactive and supportive.
Since she's old enough to have a real conversation,
maybe sit down and discuss the situation with her.
Let her know that she's not naughty.
Maybe she just needs help with this.
Discuss the options . . .
pull-ups at night?
Reminders about pooping?
etc.
Let her be part of the problem-solving process.
What has changed? New school, friends from her preschool moving on to kindergarten, change in your or partner's work schedule? I'd ask her about it.
D.
Not trying to worry you even more, but the most common reason for this regression is stress. If anything has changed recently in your home or her school, this could be causing stress. Bullying is another possibility. I'm sure talking with her in a very positive reassuring way, you'll figure it out. Putting her diapers after she's been wearing underwear for so long might make her feel shameful, reinforcing the accidents. I went through this with my son, so I understand your frustration when your child can't communicate this with you.
Best of luck!
Any changes to the family, household, at school or otherwise that could be stressing her out?
Perhaps a kid at school giving her a hard time? Is she fearful, teary, or seem overly anxious?
Just a thought, hope it sorts itself out soon, we all want our kids to be happy, confident and loved!
My 4 year old goes through these "phases" every several months. He'll do this for about a week and then it goes away. I think it's due to immature sensory responses. His is mostly wetting the bed, but he'll have an accident now and then when he's awake -usually from waiting too long. From my understanding it gradually subsides the older they get.
All kids have accidents! Why do you think kindergarten children take a change of clothes to school. Sometimes it happens in first grade!
Just remind her more frequently, like you did when she was 2 1/2 or 3. If she thinks it's "bad behavior" then you're being too negative! don't turn this into a nervous issue.
Hi, Phillymami:
I was surprised by your remark, "She knows it's not good behavior."
How come she knows that?
Just want to know.
D.
Try taking her to a Chiropractor. Sometimes things become misaligned when they fall down a lot. It is also not uncommon for a child who is completely potty trained to completely/partially regress. It can be related to growth or other developments.
