4 Year Old Won't Sleep in His Bed

My son went through a stage similar to this. We took a spray bottle filled with water and put a label on it that said "Monster Spray" (he was afraid of monsters). He would spray where ever he thought the monsters were and the spray "chased" them away.

Our daughter has struggled with staying in her bed as well (she is almost 4). We solved the problem by creating a "little bed" on our floor with a blanket and pillow. She is welcome to sleep on our floor if she chooses not to stay in her own bed (we do put her to sleep each night in her own bed, but she rarely stays there all night), but mom & dad get to stay in our bed without children. Not sure if it will help, but the added security of knowing that she can sleep by us (but not with us) has helped bedtime problems. Good luck!

My son also went through this stage at about the same age. What I did was made a chart and every night he stayed in his bed with out me in there he got a sticker. We started out small at the end of 3 days of sleeping in his bed he got to pick out a book and we would read it before bed. It started out with 3 days, then went to a week and after mastering that it went to a month. At the end of each mastered goal he would get a book or small toy of his choice. When the sleeping in his room wasn't an issue anymore we used the chart for other things we had problems getting him to do like cleaning up toys every night or cleaning his room things like that. Now he is 10 and we still use the chart for his room, he gets to pick out a toy he wants and at the end of the day he does his daily work he gets a sticker and at the end of the week we add up the days and he gets a quarter for the days he did them with out being told and when he has reached the amount of the toy he gets to go and buy it. Yes its bribing him in a way... but he also has to work to get what he wants.

K.,
I have the exact problem with my 4yr. old son. It has become so frustrating for me as well. Every night he comes and wakes me up b/c he is scared and begs me to sleep in the guest room with him. I will be watching the advice you receive and hopefully it can help both of us.

I don't know how much help this would be, but my husband lays down on the floor of my boys' room every night until they fall asleep. :) (He usually falls asleep too.) Not the best solution, but it works for us for now.

We had the same problem with our son until he was just over four, and the only thing that worked at first was to lay down with him in his room for a while, until he was cozy and relaxed. We explained to him that nothing changes in his room after we leave to go to our own room, and after a while he finally started to believe us. Now, he only comes in at 5 am when he thinks we're oversleeping on the weekends (we're early risers during the week). Good Luck!!

I'm big bad strict Mom and don't allow excuses for not sleeping in your bed so my kids sleep like a charm because they know nothing's going to work on me.
Anyways, if that's not how you do things you could try getting a new stuffed animal or blanket or something and tell him that he has to sleep in his bed with it or he can't have it.
I know it's easy to get them in a bad pattern with just one night of giving in. We have done it before and that's why I'm so adament about it now because I don't need 4 kids in my bed every night :o)
Good luck,
J.

My daughter is 5 now, but we went through this last year. She said she had scarey dreams and wanted to sleep with me. Sometimes I would even wake-up to find her in bed with me and I didn't even realize she had come in. We had a long talk about how dreams weren't real and couldn't hurt her and that mommy and daddy make sure she is always safe in her own bed. We would spend some time just before bed talking about things she liked and happy family memories and then I would tell her to close her eyes and dream about those happy thoughts. I also went to the Dollar Store and let her pick out one of those lights that you just push down on and they come on. She choose one that looked like a crescent moon and I told her that is was her bad dream light. If she had a bad dream and woke up she could reach over and turn that little light on. It was bright enough she could see everything, but not so bright that it disturbed anyone. Within three nights she stopped coming into my room and now she doesn't even need it anymore. I am not sure that this is the perfect solution, but it worked well for me.

Heres a silly way to help, but it works. My daughter was afraid of "monsters" in her room so we gave her "monster repellant" which was a spray bottle we painted to look like monster repellant and filled it with water. Every time she got afraid, she sprayed the water at the shadow and it would scare the monster away. Worked like a charm.

My daughter went thru a time like this. I sat by her bed until she fell asleep. When she finally told me there was something under her bed (smile) we made up a spray bottle of scented water, each night we sprayed it under her bed to keep that little monster out of there. I swore solemnly that this type of monster hated this smell and would never ever get near it.

It worked.

Then if she woke up, she would try to come into our bed, we did the same thing already mentioned, put a pallet on the floor. She could choose her cozy (monster proof) bedroom, or sleep on our floor. (left unsaid was the fact that our room had no monster repellent <g>)

hmm Could he have heard you guys making love and assumed from noises that daddy was hurting you? He may also be trying to protect you. kids get funny ideas sometimes.

I don't know how you feel about guns, BUT.............
My son is 5 years old. He went through the same thing, not feeling safe, afraid of shadows, monsters, etc. His dad had bought him a nerf shooter gun. It shoots out nerf darts. Well, my husband had a great idea. We still use it today.
Our son sleeps with his nerf gun under his pillow. If he feels afraid of the shodow, monsters, etc, he "shoots" them. It has made our nights better. He feels more in control and confident that he can keep the "monsters" away.
Good luck!
M.

my sister had the same problem with her daughter and her and her husband had decided to put her toddler bed at the end of there bed.. and now shes 4 and actully sleeps in her own room.. maybe a really nice warm bath and a rub down will help thats what i would do with my daughter. my son was good with sleeping in his room but wouldnt sleep on the bed he would sleep on the floor.. well good luck

I also have a 4 year old that prefers sleeping with mom. She always starts in her bed. When she wakes up she has a small bed onour floor that she can move into. The one rule is she is not allowed to wake us up or she goes back into her bed. It took just one night of returning her to her bed once to make sure she doesn't wake us up anymore! We also use a monster spray- she never talked about monsters until last month, hmmm?!

we are currently having this same problem with both of our kids...the monster spray didnt work for us and my daughter is all for sleeping on my floor but i dont agree with that...its not that she wont go to bed in her own room, its just getting her to stay there...shell come wake me up at least twice a night,my son maybe once so no one is sleeping so well..ive even talked to my daughters therapist and he suggests sending her back to bed and setting up a reward system for staying in bed all night...tonight will be the 1st night of this trial...wish us luck!