4 Year Old That I Nanny ALWAYS Asking for Something to EAT!

Is he BORED? My middle child ALWAYSSSSS asks for food when she's bored. Maybe find him something to occupy his time ;) Give him some blank paper and crayons and tell him to draw everything he wants to eat, LOL!

I am not a therapist, but I can't help but wonder if the child is mistaking an angst in the tummy from all the upheaval as hunger. If he/she is using food as comfort that is setting a bad precedence. He/she may need play therapy or...

Here is just one article that is close to this subject: http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/QAA401004/Can-Comfort-Foods-C...

Bottom line: you can find ways while you have the child to curb the eating. Maybe chewing gum? Drinking water for hunger. Keeping the fruit at hand. But if it comes to therapy or supplementation trials, you'll have to get Mom or Dad on board.

My opinion is that he is probably distressed if he is asking for food while eating. Poor lil' guy! All I have got to say on the matter is that YOU are doing a fabulous job!!!! Telling him when it's time to eat, setting a timer, making sure he has plenty to drink and giving him a hug is exactly right. If he is going through something rough, then you are definitely a safe place for his emotions.

I know it's frustrating (my daughter asks for food several times throughout the day- she has a metabolism that boggles my mind and gets bored easily so that's her deal. I feel cranky about it too!), but you are on the right track so hopefully he will learn that he doesn't have to ask so much.

ps. There also is a medical side. My daughter has Type 1 diabetes, and before she was diagnosed, she would be franticly trying to shove everything she could into her mouth. Blood sugar really messes with that sort of thing. I'm not saying that this little guy has T1D, but there may be other medical factors. Mabey something to suggest to the mom?

Good luck and great job!

I read somewhere recently that asking to eat while already eating is a sign of emotional trauma. It's like the little boy knows he wants comfort, but can't remember exactly how to get that comfort so he asks for what's easy - food.

The best thing to do is reassure him like you're already doing, that there will always be food available to him. So yes, he can have a snack when he wakes up from nap, and that you'll never let him go hungry. His basic needs (security, shelter, family) haven't been met lately so he's worried about all of his needs... food included.

You could also try diverting him with an offer of a hug instead of food. Or remind him that he just ate. He's old enough to know if he's hungry, so you could ask him if he's really hungry when he asks for food. If he's not sure, perhaps offer a hug or reading a book instead. That way he gets a need met and doesn't gain 500 pounds!

What if you just had a fruit bowl and some fresh veggies in the fridge that he could help himself to any time without asking you? You can come up with a canned answer like "you can always help yourself to fresh fruit or veggies" Maybe he'll tire of hearing the same line and stop asking. Maybe also a routine time for meals that he could come to expect. I'll bet he's just eating out of habit and boredom, maybe to see what interesting foods you'll have to offer him. I would try to distract him with other activities, outside play if you can.

I agree with Manda M. My 4 yo and 5 yo pretty much can help themselves to the fruit bowl. We buy cuties (clementines) that they peel themselves, or they'll eat an apple, or a nectarine or a plum or a banana. Or they can have baby carrots from the fridge, or grapes.

I don't regulate it too tightly, they both go to school so they come home at 3 and usually need a good snack (like sliced apples and pb and a glass of milk). If they're hungry an hour and a half later which sometimes happens, they'll grab a piece of fruit.

Try increasing the protein in his snacks, like peanut butter, yogurt, cottage cheese, etc.

Well, you could be describing my daughter in that way. She's only happy when she's eating - constantly. I chalk it up to her having a higher metabolism.

So I would just keep healthy snacks where he can reach them. You might ask the mom for extra $$ or to send him with food, so he's not eating you out of house and home. But if you make the food accessible, he can get it himself, rather than you having to do it constantly. That might help with the crankiness you're developing (which I totally get).

In our house, you can snack on anything anytime you want (even right before a meal), as long as it's fresh fruit or vegetables.

My daughter does that when she's bored. Done with a toy? Mom can I have a snack? No. If I say yes, she'll eat a bite and then she's done.. so she's not so much hungry just bored.. that feeds into her always wanting or needing something.. she's just bored so I mostly try to ignore it when I know she's just talking to talk.

Given the HUGE emotional trauma you are describing, it sounds like he is using food to comfort himself. His tummy hurts = ask for food.

I would set up a little snack basket or drawer with items you deem worthy and able to stock. Do you have any Asian food stores around? They have amazing kids snacks. These huge bags of popped grains for cheap, like $4.99 that will feed the gang all week. Those cute itsy-bitsy Ritz crackers. Clementines. Dry cereal like Chex, Fruit loops, or make your own bowl of mixed up cereals.

I get it that the asking if excessive. Tell him he does not have to ask you for a snack, that he can get one himself today. Then see how he manages from offering him free range for a few days. If he still does not get his fill, you are dealing with a whole lot of emotional issues and the asking is just the tip of the iceberg.

There definitely appears to be a level of fear going on related to his eating. For whatever reason, he is insecure that he is going to have enough food. I think you should just reassure him that he will always have plenty to eat at your house and that you will always be around to feed him. I can easily make the connection between having cars taken away and a family in severe disarray and his feeling satisfied.

It's possible he's also running on a calorie deficit if he didnt get enough calories during a growth spurt and now his brain is just set to "hungry" - I have 2 atheletes in my house, and yes, this happens.

If you think it's emotional eating, then try to give him something crunchy to eat like carrot or celery sticks. Feed him as much as he wants but just make sure it's healthy and load every snack with reassurance that you will be there when he wakes up and will always be willing to take care of him.

I completely understand your irritation but remember this is a child under stress and his asking for food is his little way of asking for help.

Some kids like to graze, I know mine do, but I strive to make sure they are hungry for meals. Not sure this is related to emotional eating, anything is possible. But no body will starve waiting for a meal to roll around. When my kids are asking for too many snacks I only allow fruit until the meal. Then of course don't restrict how much they eat at the meal. Its okay to say "no, lunch is in an hour". Sounds like you may need to be very regimented with snack time/ meal time and distract him with activities.

Is he overweight? That would be my first question. Some kids, especially boys are hungry because of a growth spurt. My neighbors kid frequently comes over and is ALWAYS wanting something to eat...she's incredibly tall for her age, so I'm sure she's just growing.

I would try to give him some hearty protein (i.e. meat or peanut butter sandwich with milk), then go outside or to the park where food is not available.

It is possible that his eating is a soothing mechanism for all of the chaos in his life. Try to break the cycle now so he doesn't develop a weight problem if he is going through emotional eating.

I wonder if he's been hungry in the past - maybe not enough to eat when he was placed in the other home?- and he's just double (triple, quintuple) checking w/ you that he'll be able to eat again soon. I like the other moms ideas of having a fruit bowl or veggies/dip always at the ready - maybe also a small serving of wheat crackers, that he can help himself to whenever he wants. Give him a little bit of control back, and maybe he'll stop worrying as much.

You could also give him some laminated "ask about eating" cards - start w/ 5 - that he can put in his pocket. Each time he asks you about food, he has to give one up. When he runs out, and asks again, he loses a privilege - a favorite tv show or favorite sweet snack (replace w/ other filling snack, of course). Maybe a visual reminder will help him remember to curb it. Or simple tally the requests as they come in - show him at the end of the day how many times he's asked you.

ETA - regarding the being away from the house and constantly asking you "when are we going to eat?" - give him a digital watch (cover the minutes with a sticker if needed) and say "when the number is TEN we will eat. When the number is 12, we'll eat again). Something like that.