4 Year Old Still Wants to Sleep with Me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just say no and stick to it. If you're in the same room, that should be close enough for him. He's making a big deal because you give in when he does. STOP. Tell him he's too big, there's no room, you can't sleep, whatever. He'll escalate the crying before he stops, so be prepared. This is only the beginning of all the problems raising kids, so don't let him get the upper hand at 4. You have a 2yr. old watching and learning!

Make a place for him on the floor of your room and he can sleep there.
That is what we do with my kids, if need be.

I was like your son when I was a child.
I grew out of it.
It was fine with my parents.
I would wake, creep down the long dark hallway to my parent's room and squeeze in between them. They let me.
I simply missed them and got scared at night.
It is and was, one of my FONDEST memories of my parents, from my childhood.
My sibling on the other hand was the opposite. She did not like affection or coziness with my parents.

all the best,
Susan

My daughter was the same way. I would just get up and walk her back to her bed. This happened everynight for about a week until I was about to loose my mind. My friend then suggested the next time she get in bed with us, make it as uncomfortable for her to be there. The next night she came in her father and I spread out. She did not like having a knee to her back or not enough room to lay down, or being slightly curshed between her father and I. Mind you this was all done so the it was uncomfortable for her with no pain being inflicted. The first night she left our bed and slept on the floor of our room. She was beyond tired the next day. The next night she walked herself back to her bed and has never looked back. Some time later she was not feeling well and her dad offered to let her sleep with me so that I could keep an eye on her and she said " NO, mommy moves to much" I love it when a plan comes together. Side note: My daughter was 5 at the time. She is now 9.

Wow...sounds like you have been through a lot. I can imagine that he is also feeling vulnerable and sad about not having his Dad around 100% of the time. Whether its been 1 year or 5 years, it sounds like he needs his Mommy. If I were you, I'd cuddle him and hold him at night and make sure that he knows you are there for him no matter what time of the day.

My husband is very firm about it. He just doesn't allow it. He lets him give me a hug then walks him back to bed or tells him to go back to bed. He always praises him the next day and tells him how proud "daddy is of his big boy". Sometimes my son will come ask for the praise - "daddy, i was a big boy last night and din't sleep with mommy." He's even proud of himself. That's all the advice I know
1) be kind but firm and walk him back or make him go back tohis bed EVERY TIME!
2) praise him for being such a big boy and good big brother.

btw - when i was single my oldest daughter slept with me until she was 12 yrs old. I cried when she didn't want to sleep with me anymore. I think when we're songle, we like to have that cuddly love next to us sometimes so it's confusing for the little ones

Does your 4yr old still take afternoon naps? My daughter was the exact same way your son is and once we stopped giving our daughter naps during the day she was exhausted enough that by bed time she fell a sleep within 10 minutes and slept throughout the night. Our bed time routine is to get ready for bed, read a book together, and then lay down with her until she falls a sleep then I leave her room. It has been working now for the past 3 months since we started it. Give it a try on your end. :)

As far as I am concerned it's about MY sleep. If the 4yr old comes in and can sleep on one side of the bed, leave him there. No sense your becoming wide awake and fighting him to go back to bed. If he is the type of kid who can't stay on one side of the bed (my daughter is like that), then remind him before he goes to bed to stay in bed until morning ( when the sun is up or mom is up). Or he could sleep on the floor in your room. I know it's hard on the floor, but he has his own bed he can use. If sleeping next to him is a problem, explain that to him. "You move all over the bed when you sleep and I can't sleep.". It's not that you don't love him. You just want sleep. My 10 year old still sleeps with me when his father is away on business. It seems he feels more secure. He is my youngest, I know this will end on it's own soon. Luckily he stays on his side of the bed, so no problem for my sleep.

Can he sleep in another room? My 4 year old and 2 year old does this as well, but I started locking my door, and they have learned they have to stay in bed.

We've talked to them about it and comforted them, and carried them back to bed after they have fallen asleep, but in the long run, locking the door was the easiest for both of us.

One expert recommended to put a sleeping bad or child's bed at the foot of yours, then when he falls asleep, move him there or when he approaches you to get in your bed, then tell him he can't sleep in your bed, but he can sleep next to it.

My daughter is the same way. She has been cosleeping with us since birth but now (she's 3) wakes up around 1030 each night and wants to sleep with me (daddy works 2nd shift and comes to bed about 2 hours before we get up). I explained to her that as she gets older, she'll need to sleep in her own bed. For now, I do not mind it because I sleep well with her in there and then don't have to worry about her waking up in the middle of the night. Her brother (1yr old) has never really liked cosleeping and prefers to sleep alone!

Not much advice, just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

when he comes to your bed at 3:00 a.m., just walk him back to his bed and put him in it. This is just a habit and it won't be broken while you're still allowing him in your bed. After a few nights, he will probably stop if you don't allow him into your bed.

what if you just moved his bed into your room?

My 4yr old son is the same way but not as bad as before. It's not a habit but on occasion he will sneak into our bed, and when he does that I just transport him back to his room asleep.

Some kids need more warmth and lovey dovey from M. for security than others. I know it's not easy sleeping with a 4yr old and if he's like mine, he sleeps with body parts all over the place. I end up being kicked out. I got tired of it too because it is uncomfortable, but I just let him come, and carry him back to his room/bed as heavy as he is.