4 Year Old Potty Training Issues

I would put her in big girl pants, and make a sticker reward chart. rather than reward her when she goes, she gets a sticker on the days she makes it the entire day dry and clean, and if she makes it 5 days in a row she gets a treat, and than when she makes it 2 weeks in a row she gets a bigger treat, and if she makes it the whole month she gets a big reward, like a new toy she has been really wanting. at 4 she knows what she needs to do, she is just refusing to do it.

Since you are ready for her to be trained, and at 4 she is more than old enough, go with your gut and proceed.

Your daughter knows this is one of the few things she can control in her life and she doesn't want to budge. So now you put the responsibility on her and back off. Tell her she won't be able to go to school (some will work with her but don't tell her that) if she isn't going to the potty on her own. Hype preschool up and tell her of all the things she will get to do there, IF she goes to the potty on her own.

As far as going naked or bottomless it won't help her not to pee, just make it easier for her to get to the potty without having an accident in her pants.
Don't give her rewards for not going, only when she's successful, and don't give her a reward she can hold, make it a "power incentive," something you retain ownership of and she gains 30 - 60 minutes of using it when she goes potty successfully. Take her out of pull-ups and go to cloth training pants so she feels the wetness next to her, impossible with pull-ups since they"wick" it away, and save the cute panties as a reward for being successfully trained for a couple of weeks.

Check out this site for lots of helpful information on potty training problems which deals with potty training refusers like your daughter. It helped me immensely to train my little guy when he was 27 months and ready, regardless of what his doctor or anyone said. I really didn't need to "push" him to train, just outsmart him : ) You'll find information on the "power incentive," putting the responsibility on the child, etc.

http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

Will she fit on a potty chair?
Get a potty chair... put it near her wherever she is playing or is, and leave her naked on the bottom.
We did that with my son, who was reticent to potty. And this worked for him and he'd go by himself.

My son showed no interest at 3 1/2 and, like you, I wanted him to be able to go to preschool. We did not try anything before this point though. I purchased an online book called 3 Day Potty Training by Lora Jensen (3daypottytraining.com). He was potty trained almost by day 1 but definitely within 3 days. I used this philosophy for my daughter when she was not quite 3 years and she was trained within the 3 days. I have had several friends use this as well with successful. I realize that every child is different but I believe this works, it may take a little longer but I really think it will work. They also offer online support that you can send questions and they will respond. Good luck!!

No reward for trying. She only gets the reward if she goes in the potty.