4 Year Old Only Wants Junk.

This one is really easy but will take will power from you and the rest of the family.
Remove all junk food from the house so it's just not there, just like when you were young.
Offer him the meal you have prepared, if he refuses to eat it ask him to leave the table, get pajamas on a prepare for bed. ie: continue the evening as if he had eaten. Do NOT give any other food or drink except water. Only allow him back at the table if he is intending eat dinner. Do not negotiate and if needed send him to his room to end any whining. Believe me, once you get the message accross this is not negotiable it will work very fast. He will get hungry.One of the best motivators. It could take a few days but he will eventually understand that you are in charge of his nutrition. Do not let a 4 year old decide what he should eat. They make very bad choices and you are responsible for giving him correct nutritional guide lines, not him. Remember you are his MOM not his best friend. He needs his MOM not more friends.

This is just a test, one of boundaries. Just keep strong, do not give in not one time. He will start to eat what you give him. But if crying or holding out will get him what he wants then why not do it. It will not allow himself to go without food until he starves. So don't feel bad. Make dinner, sit down you eat what you expect him to eat and enjoy. Make dinner as much about family as you do about food (something most dont have the time to do). He will grow out of it. My son and may children after him in my home have done the same at about the same age. But at age 19 my son will eat anything. Not to say he likes everything, but he has learned to respect the fact that I take the time to cook health meals because i love him, and he enjoys just sitting down talking with dad and I. He will however tell me when he loves something i make verses the days when he makes a face and says he would rather not have a meal again for a while. lol but that is ok we don't have to love everything.

Just keep putting the healthy stuff in front of him, make him eat 2 bites of everything and thats all he has to eat if thats all he wants. When he's hungry enough, he'll eat :)

I use to have the same problem with my six year old when he was around the same age. After deciding to stop feeding him at his request my husband and I decided to discontinue snacks around the house as a form of punishment. Of course we would not reward him with them after a meal either but we would allow snacks outside the house and reminded him that he would only get some if he continued all his meals. We felt that without any snacks between meals he would feel more hungry and have no other option than to eat what was provided. It was hard for him at first but then learned to adjust to different vegetables. It might even help if you allow him to pick which of the 2 sides he wants with the main meal.

Well if im weird about anything im weird about my kids eating food.. i want him to eat anything i give him without complaint! he has been pretty good until (hes 5 1/2) until a few months ago he caught from other kids that veggies are "yucky" I got so mad and said this is not yucky and if you say it is your going to eat it for a week until you like it. He still would eat it but when a new meal came around he would say the same thing "this is yucky" so i just kept telling him no its not yucky it helps you to grow up big like daddy.. (this actually really helped he reapets that alot when he sees something different now!) Im not completely mean i do make him eat what i serve him and and if he eats without complaint i keep a tally in my head of not to serve all the time. But be sure to introduce again.
Through the day i make sure he eats all two good meals, if he ate good b-fast and lunch then i let him slack on dinner.
I just dont buy cookies and chips because he can eat the mess out of those if i let him.. and he seems to find them enough at other places where people offer him things. Hes not a ice cream and candy guy either so i try not to buy those things either ... My sisters kid was told to eat his grilled veggies and he likes to try and throw up when given something he doesnt like. Well she put them in a ziploc bag and was prepared to give them to him for b-fast if he didnt eat them that night. But the thought of not getting a carmel apple was no match for him.. he gave in tears and all. i dont recomend bribing with sweets but i would ssave it until hes hugry again. anywho wanted to share my stories.
The key for me is him eating without complaint. i make a big deal about things that taste good too. not just the veggies.
(Hes 44lbs just in case your curious)

Hi L.. Don't buy the junk anymore. I can't tell you the last time I bought cookies or made cupcakes for my kids.
You can hide nutrition in food. Get the Jessica Seinfield cookbook (Jerry Seinfield's wife). She has lots of recipes where you can puree vegetables and hide them in food like mac'n cheese, pancakes, etc. The recipes are pretty good. you can get the cookbook at Barnes & Nobles and even Walmart, about $20.00.
Another thing we do is involve them in the food making. My husband is a chef, so this is an easy task for us! We make fruit smoothies out of ice, lowfat yogurt & milk, and throw in whatever fruit we have around. The kids LOVE to help run the blender, and they think what comes out is a milkshake. We also make peanut butter smoothies when we need a little protein. :) You can then put the smoothies in ice cube trays and make little smoothie popsicles out of them. Invest in some candy trays with cute shapes and they can have "heart shaped" popsicles that are really frozen yogurt smoothies.
I have many tricks like that. I try to limit the junk we buy so when they are hungry, they know they can ALWAYS eat a banana, apple, grapes, whatever fruit we have. They know they can eat those things anytime they want, and without asking. That allows them to make the choice. I also make sure it is cut up (like melon) and in tupperware that they can reach in the refrigerator. It may take a while to change his habits, but it's better to do it now than wait until he's in middle school and wanting chips all the time! I know I'm at an advantage with a chef for a husband... my kids are used to eating things most kids don't eat. But I can honestly tell you that we have never had to force them to eat anything. They usually eat things by watching us and wondering what it tastes like! My kids eat artichokes, asparagus, daily salad, and the LOVE raw vegetables & fruit. We also have a sweet tooth, don't get me wrong! But I try to balance it all out.
Good luck !! And get the cookbook !
L.

My son went through the same thing, and now as a 7 year old he is still picky and limited, but now he'll at least try new things and won't fight me as much. Bargaining and fighting NEVER worked for me, he would intentionally puke on his plate if I made him eat something he didn't like, or go to bed hungry. What did work was NOT BUYING the snacks. If they're in the pantry, he wants them. No more chips, and rarely cookies, in my house. I hate having them gone, too, but we're better for it, and my clothes fit better, too. Now it's fresh fruits, whole grain crackers, yogurt pops in the freezer, homemade muffins. I even slip what germ into the batter when I make pancakes on the weekend. And I have a strict rule on dinner(he was refusing dinner then wanting to snack later, too). Don't eat a little of every item on the plate (doesn't have to be gone), and no dessert and no snacks. He got hungry, so he started to eat. A great book is "The Sneaky Chef". It takes foods they like, and you sneak fruit/veggie purees in to make them healthier. I add spinach juice into the milk when I make cook & serve chocolate pudding, and my sons still inhaled it! I'll take all the help I can get!

My son also started doing the same thing when he was 3. He use to like his veggies and really wasnt turned on to sweets or treats. So it was a surprise to me when one day his favorite food was yucky... homemade pizza!

He no longer tries to sneak out for food and but now he's 6 and still tells me doesn't want to eat dinner or that it's yucky. But this is what I did; Like you I don't force my kids to eat their dinner but they all have to sit at the table until dinner is over so they have an opportunity to eat. If they don't eat their dinner they don't get dessert ( I don't bribe them, usually they start whining and I remind them) and they can't ask to snack on anything later if they are hungry later (It took a couple of times before this sunk in). If they don't like what Ive made for dinner they have an option to eat a peanut butter sandwich instead. Also to help promote healthy snacks, I made a shelf in the fridge of carrot sticks, cheese sticks, apples, orange, etc... but that might be something you do later on as "privilege."

I hope this helps, All I can say is don't fight with him, thats exactly what he wants to see. If he gets up from the table, pick him up and put him back in his chair. Then tell him you don't have to eat (REITERATE THE RULE) don't yell and don't scream, and you may have to do this a couple of times. It will be difficult at first but It will get better!

Don't buy any more junk food for a long while. There's nothing but good food, then there's nothing to sneak. He'll have to eat eventually. My kids are the same way. We've really cracked down lately and it seems to be working. They have to have so many bites per age of whatever is on their plate (7 yr old = 7 bites, 5 = 5, 2 = 2 of each food offered). After that, they don't have to eat anything else at dinnertime. I don't make more than one meal at a time, but I do consider them when making the meal. My daughter doesn't like her food mixed up, so when it is convenient for me, I don't for hers. Otherwise, they get what they get. They eat their prescribed amount, or they don't eat anything. So, far it is working. We are making progress. They still complain, but they are eating what I make and finding out they like some things after all. They still don't like some things, and that's ok. At times, I won't make them eat something that I know they don't like (like a certain side dish). But the meal still has to basically be eaten. Make it impossible for your child to eat anything but...

I am going through the same thing with my 3 y/o. I recently got a GREAT cookbook from the library (still trying out recipes, will buy it if this works for our family) it is called "Deceptively Delicious" by Jesica Seinfeld. I have only tried 1 recipe so far but I love the concept! She has come up with different meals with pureed fruits/veggies hidden inside. Just a warning though, if your husband is a picky eater also (like mine) make sure you keep him in the dark of this little secret also! :) I hope this helps!

I myself have heard this a thousand times from various people...they will eat when they are hungry. I am a firm believer of that. Fix your meal that you fix for everyone else in the house, and if he does not eat it let him know that you will be plating it up and putting it in the fridge for when he is hungry. If he does not want to eat it with everyone else he can eat it later by himself. STAND FIRM! When he comes back 30 minutes later and says he is hungry, get that plate out and reheat it. If he is truly hungry he will eat it. If he is not, then he does not need the junk that kids think they do for dessert. I have even gone as far as you do not get another meal until you eat this one. It has worked. Now, my daughter may not eat everything I will cook for one meal and there are those meals I cook that will forever be a losing battle so I plan around those nights for her. Whether it be I know that I have something from the night before she will eat or something I can pull from the freezer. You are correct, a child should not survive on mac and cheese or pizza alone. Just be strong, let him know that you and your husband are the boss, and don't back down and give him what he wants cause you are scared he is starving. If you do, he will remember that and it will be even harder the next night at the dinner table.

Good luck!

The alarm on the door was brilliant! koodos for that! I think that you are being too sympathetic with him, it doesn't hurt a child to go to bed hungry once in awhile, and that's what he needs to learn will happen if he doesn't eat what's at the dinner table. When my son was a little older I went through the same thing, plus I had 3 teenage foster children, and a step son and husband... It was impossible to please everyone at dinner except on spigette night! so my rule was that they ate what was put in front of them or they could make themselves (i didn't do it for them) a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and that was the limit of their choices! if they did not eat either one, there was absolutely no snacking later! They either ate what I cooked or made that sandwich every time! You have to stick to your guns on it, even though he is only 4! otherwise you will always have this problem and you are letting him find an unhealthy habit of eating that will stay with him the rest of his life! Can 4 yr old make a p,b and j sandwich? yes he can! it won't be as evenly spread or look as pretty, but he can and if it doesn't taste good to him all the better as he will learn to eat what you put on the table. Don't feel bad for him, it's his choice and he won't go hungry more than a couple of times if you don't cave in! Good luck!

L.,

I can't believe you put an alarm on your refrigerator to keep a 4 year old out. Mom, you need to get firm and stay firm. Someone must've said something or done something to make him have a fear of colored foods. You need to find out. Ask him, he'll tell you. Don't force him to eat it, but eventually he will have to. You're just gonna have to take the time to talk to him and find out what's going on.

I would, in the meantime, take that darn alarm off the refrigerator and dare lil' man to go in it! You're just gonna have to incorporate some strick disciplinary tactics, use them and stick to them. You're gonna have to be firm and don't let up. I have a four-year old son who knows how to use Psychology 101 on my mother, but me....he uses Common Sense 101.

Hi L.-

I agree with most of the advice that you have already received, so I won't repeat it. I'm like you, I don't do the "eat everything on your plate" thing. My daughter is a picky eater and I, like you, feel bad if she is truly hungry later in the night. Since I'm not willing to send her to bed hungry, if she doesn't eat dinner she is allowed a healthy snack (apple, banana, raisins, yogurt, etc). At that point if she doesn't eat it then she must not be that hungry and I won't feel guilty when she goes to bed without eating.

Good Luck,
K.

This may be hard for you, but if the junk food isn't there, he can't have it! Don't even buy it. If he goes to the store with you and asks for cookies, tell him you can't buy it because your family is eating healthy food. Maybe make a deal that if he eats healthy meals then he can have dessert. Alternately, make cookies together and put in healthy ingredients (raisins, nuts, whole wheat flour, etc). Also there are great cookbooks about how to sneak in veggies, etc, into "normal" meals.

Hopefully this is just a phase for him. In public schools they do a great job of teaching healthy vs. non-healthy food. I've actually had to convince my 6 year old that it's okay to eat cookies every once in a while! We are ice cream fanatics, however, and waffles & ice cream is considered a breakfast and/or dinner food :) But I do tailor dessert to how much dinner is eaten (my girls are 2, 4 & 6 and I do get complaints even about food they've had before if it doesn't 'look right'). I have been known to send a child to bed hungry, too (not as punishment, but as a choice - eat or don't eat).

Stick to your guns and follow what you believe in - your son will get away with as much as you let him! :)
And as my mother always told me, a kid will never starve himself to death, so don't worry if he doesn't eat once or twice.

L.,

First, check with your doctor and see what he suggests.

Yes, how I remmeber those years when my now 37 yrs Son refused to eat what the rest of the family was eating. He is now a HEALHTY father of 2 children.

He just wanted to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cereal and milk all the time and NOT at the same time we all ate. Also, he DID NOT EAT the vegetables ONLY the meats and then he was picky with that. Well, the doctor told me to leave him along and that his hunger CLOCK was different than ours. Yes, we also DID all that fighting, arguing and putting him to bed without his meals and that DID NOT work either.

Well, I left him alone and just left his food on the counter for him to eat when he was ready. Sure enough he came around and eat when he was hungry.

He is my bologna sandwich, pizza, tuna, cereal and plenty of milk eater. My daughter on the other hand was everything eater - eggs, bacon/sausage, hash browns, biscuit, meat, mash potatoe eater, etc.

Just figure out what he likes and put it out and he will come around at HIS TIME.

Also, HIDE that JUNK FOOD that way he has NO OTHER CHOICE.

Now that they are now adults, I wish I could go back in time and RELIVE those WONDERFUL moments.

God bless and Good Luck !

M. Ruiz Torres

I understand and am living the same thing. I bought a safety first lock for the refrigerator and my daughter can now get into that. I did get one of those ball things that go over the doorknob and now she can't get into the junk-food pantry!

One thing to consider because although they are growing, they have relatively small stomachs, is to give him smaller, more frequent meals.

Let him help you "cook" (sometimes works, sometimes doesn't)

There are a few ways to help kidify food...let him play with it. One way is to get a set of cookie cutters. I know michaels once had a 101 cookie cutter set made by Wilton. Cut sandwiches out or just the cheese, bread and meat and let him put together his own sandwich like a puzzle. I even make mini meatloafs into shapes. One thing I do because my kids LOVE pancakes, is to put a quarter cup of pumpkin in a regular recipe (1 cup flour (half wheat, half white), 1TBSP sugar, 2 tsp baking powder, 1/4 tsp salt, 1 cup milk, 1 egg, 2 TBSP oil). Then I add about a half cup of chocolate chips. Because of the chocolate, I don't even give them syrup and they LOVE these pancakes.

The other way to make food more fun is to dip it. Get small packs of dips from fast food places..honey mustard, bbq, ranch and let him dip his veggies. Even make cheese dip or queso so he can dip his broccoli in it himself.

My daughter (Age 4) loves flour tortillas and will eat anything wrapped up in one. Give him one or two at dinner and let him do the wrapping. Otherwise, just have patience, this too will pass!

I can get preachy on you now and tell you that it might not be a bad idea to get rid of the junk food out of the house altogether. Your son somehow equates that kind of food with fun and obviously is obsessing about it if he gets up to get it at night. If your family needs a sweet treat, fruit is a great snack that you can offer to your son even after dinner as a dessert. Strawberries or blueberries with a little whipped cream, peaches too, or even baked apples with a little brown sugar (cheap).

Good luck and let us know what happens!

My mom says "If they are hungry, they will eat." I don't have junk in our house and I refuse to make separate meals for my daughter. So, if she doesn't like what we have, she has to wait until the next meal. When your kids realize that, they will likely start trying what you've made. I have to say, though, I never gave my daughter junk food, so her exposure to it is limited. She really developed a like for healthy food early on, as she knew nothing else. So, it might be a painful process trying to change a child's likes at the age of 4. Good luck!

Hi my son was the same way growing up.I always had to make him something different for dinner.It was always corndogs,chicken nuggets,hot dogs.I had to stop doing that it was too hard having to make his food and ours.It really wasn't healty.At about 7 years old i started giving him what we ate.He never had a hamburger or red meat he hated it.Slowly he started eating along with us.They will not starve.If they are hungry they will eat believe me.He may not like it the first time but once he starts eating more and more he will like it.You may want to hide the desserts.

A dietician that I know told me, "As the mom, you decide when and what your child eats and your child decides how much to eat." This was hard at first for me to do because while my son usually ate what I made, he did not always want to eat at dinner time with my husband and I. Eating as a family is very important to me and my husband, so we just stuck to our guns and if our son would not eat with us or would not eat what I made, we told him that he would have to wait until breakfast the next morning to eat. It only took a few times, but our son got the picture and now he comes to the table for dinner without a fight. There are still times when he says, "I don't like that." But he knows that if he doesn't eat, he will go to bed hungry. Trust me, your son will not starve himself. He may go to bed hungry for a few nights, but if you are firm and don't let him snack after dinner, he will get the picture and eat what you make.

Some of the other posts mention Jessica Sienfield's cookbook, Deceptively Delicious. I don't have that cookbook yet, but I saw her on OPRAH and her recipes look great. One piece of advice that she gave on the show was to still cook a side dish of veggies with every meal and encourage your children to eat them. That way even though you are sneaking veggies to your kids, they won't grow up thinking that they don't have to eat veggies to be healthy. You would still be reinforcing good eating habits whether your child chooses to eat the veggies or not. GOOD LUCK!!!

My kids arent this age yet, so I'm reading your advice too! :) I heard once where if the child doesnt eat his/her supper then put it in the fridge. if they are hungry before bed they can eat that....also, maybe pay close attention to what foods he doesnt like..maybe there are certain veggies he isnt a fan of....GOOD LUCK!

Ofcourse, every child wants only junk food. I rarely see a child beg for meat and vegetables. Don't keep junk food in the house. Serve meals as usual. Don't make any overtures to get the child to eat, or not eat. When the meal is over put the plate in the ice box. When your child come to you and wants more food offer to heat up the remainder of his meal. Keep calm, you are the adult. In time the child will develope better eating habbits. Then between meals if he is still hungry offer fruit. Always keep fruit in the house for easy access. Keep cookies and candy out of sight. They are for special events that you decide upon.

hi Lauen,
Hang on here just a second who is the mom you are him????you put is food on his plate ,if he does'nt eat it set it aside ,later when he says i'm hungrey "SAY SON YOUR FOOD IS ON THE COUNTER" you train him not the other way around.that seems to be the problem here to me
L.

L. - My daughter was custom to get cookies at the daycare for a long time and I was unaware but when we would sit for dinner. It was horrible. She just wanted cookies and cry at the table. I would leave her chicken and vegetables in front of her. She keept crying but I sat there and talked to her about how she needed to eat her meal to grow. I did lots of talking and explaining. I did remove her from the day care but It took exactly 2 weeks before she actually sat at the dinner table and stop crying. My daughter is 3 yrs old. They have to come to realize that they can't get everything there way. It is irritateable but must be patient. The first time she ate very little but she did come to understand that she had to eat. I wouldn't let her watch dora either unless she ate. Pick something they love the most and use that to help them eat. Somehow I think they want to see what they want to get away with. Their children this is the time they learn there habbits. So helping them understand is very important in my opinion. Lots of talking. Good luck.

Drown his whole meal with ketchup.Its not worth the fight.

When he comes back to say he's hungry just let him know that he still has food on his plate and if he's hungry he needs to eat that. I think you just have to be stern with him. My son knows that what I fix is what we are eating for dinner. I also have a rule in my house that you have to try everything at least once. If you don't like it you don't have to eat it and it's very rarely everything on the plate. If my son doesn't like what we are eating then he gets a peanut butter sandwich. I even made it where pizza and mac & Cheese are very rare in our house. Those are only on special occassion. At first my son would get upset but I would tell him that mommy only liked making healthy food because I wanted him to be healthy and strong and if he wanted to grow up to be a big boy then he needed healthy food. Even when he would fight it he would eventually get hungry enough that he would sit down and eat what was on his plate. Once he knew I wasn't giving in he stopped fighting it and now he prefers healthy foods. If he likes peanut butter sandwiches then offer him baby food instead of what's on his plate. Because big boys eat "the food on plate" but if he didn't want to be a bog boy then here is the other option. Or make pizza a reward. If he eats a week worth of what you make for dinner then on Friday night or Saturday you will make or order pizza but it has to be earned. I have used this for other things my son wanted and we have a chart that when he does chores he earns points to going to a movie or something else he is wanting. This could be used for pizza and other foods he really likes. He earns so many points towards having one of the other foods. Hope this helps.

I have a son with a selective eating disorder. He is 7. We recently took him to a pychologist who specializes in this. She told me at 4, what you child is doing is very common and normal. The key is not to make a big deal about it. My son was the same way with junk. Stop buying it! Or buy very little. You won't be tempted to cave and give your child unhealthy food if it's not there. Fix your meals but always offer it to him on his plate but make sure there is at least one thing in your meal that he will eat. Trust me, he won't starve! Also, our pyschologist said that bribing with food is bad. We started a point system. When he ate what was on his plate, he gets point. After 50 points he gets to pick a family activity to do. If your child still wants to eat something after dinner YOU give him what the choice of what he can have are. If he doesn't like those choices then he doesn't get a snack, but make the snacks more on the healthy side. Good luck. I really feel your frustration.

L.,

I really beleive that you are doing everything you can! I also grew up in a home where what ever was placed on your plate, you ate, and were happy! If you decided not to eat, there were no in between snacks, so you waited until the next meal! This is something what I do with my own kids! They haven't gone quite as extreme, however one week my son decides he doesn't like a certain food, that's fine, we give him the opportunity to eat really good healthy choices, and then leave it! Good for you for putting an alarm on the fridge or door! He needs to learn there are house rules, and everybody has to adhere to them!

Keep at it!

Do what we did (recommended by our pychstriat (sp?)) We did the whole bully thing. Our oldest was the same. I made one meal for everyone. i put the food on a plate and if he didn't eat then he had to take a bath/ shower go to bed (no food at all; don't cave) and then save his plate for him to eat for breakfast. if nothing then he had to try for lunch. At dinner it was the same thing again. We were told if he gets hungry he will eat. then once he gets used to having to eat what you fix occasionally have a fun night with foods that he likes

Of course he only wants junk. It tastes good. The best thing to do (for all families really) is to simply stop buying junk food. This is a difficult concept, but I would urge you to try it for a while. You know it isn't good for anyone. We all love it, but we don't need it. Instead buy only fruit and healthy treats. If he doesn't eat, don't get angry with him. Just remove the plate, cover it and put it in the fridge until he asks for food later. Then get it back out and serve it to him. Think of it as re-programming. There is a cookbook out now that explains how to mix vegetables with brownies, cookies, etc. so the kids don't even know what they are eating. That might be worth a try.

Have you heard of "Deceptively Delicious" by Jessica Seinfeld? It's a cookbook/movement of putting vegetable purees into foods that kids love. Here's the link: http://www.deceptivelydelicious.com/site/

Good Luck!
M.

L., i understand your frustration, but, there are some good ideas from the comedian jerry sienfield's wife. i cant remember her name. she has a cookbook out, it unbelievable what she creates & mixes with other foods. you gotta check it out. i saw her on Oprah, she demonstrated some of her dishes for her finicky kids. she purees everything & mixes the purees into her meals. great idea.

If you don't give him junk he will eventually get hungry and eat what is put in front of him. I know it is hard because I often want to give my son options, but I also know that he is using food as a control item. He knows I can't force food down his throat and so he essentially is in control. But, our rule is if you don't eat what mom makes you just don't eat. And he has gone to bed hungry. I don't feel bad. Unless he has some kind of eating disorder he will not let himself starve. Of course, he will likely throw the biggest of all fits until you give in, but the key is you have to be more stubborn than him. If you aren't he will win every time, and not just with food. Good luck! Hopefully this will pass, but my son is 8 and is still a pain. He just goes hungry a lot! Hasn't hurt him yet and one of these days he will get tired of not eating dinner.