Hello Moms,
My soon to be 4 year old moans in his sleep. Its like a humming noise that he makes and he does it about every 5-10 minutes throughout the entire yes entire night.
He has been doing it since he was probably 8 months old, and has continued to do it. I try to talk to him about it, but he laughs and he knows he does it. It wouldn't be such an issue, but he comes to our bed in the middle of the night everyyyyy night since he could walk and rolls over me or my husband and finds his way to the middle. Along with the noise he makes he is obsessed with touching my face, he pats my face, or pets my face the entireeeee night.
I can't sleep and have to constantly remove his hand off my face and hair. He won't do it to my husband cause his face has stubble and his hair is short.
I dont mind the sleeping in the bed, but the noises and face thing are really hard to deal with when I have to be up at 6 to do the whole school, daycare and work routine. He also pulls my hair out. 3 or 4 strands at time, manages his way into my hair and pulls it out. in his sleeeepppp. Has anyone had this issue? I think its time i talk to his PED for suggestions. his preschool teacher says he makes the noises during nap time at school too. Please help. I am the happiest mommy to 2 wonderful kids, a 6 year old girl and soon to be 4 boy.
Thank you everyone for your replies. I would love to hear more. I Would agree that the moaning and the hair pulling is just a comforting thing, and one of the moms is right, they only stary little for so long. I have no problem with him sleeping in our bed. It's almost like he is half asleep, I know it is a comforting thing, and that is acceptable. When he is doing this , he is tossing and turning, so he may be half awake, because I talk to him and tell him to stop, and hell shake his head yes, acknowledging me. but then he continues. I will monitor him on the days that he's extra tired to see if it's different. I spend alooottt of time with my kids, reading, playing, arts and crafts. My husband and I are veryyy active with them, and do everything to make them happy. I have a bit of a drive with them in the morning, and we sing, and play games and talk the whole way when riding in the car, i pay alot of attention to them, with lots of hugs and kisses always, so I can't say that its related to lack of attention. I will speak to his Ped and see if there is anything he suggests. Thank you all for the kind thoughts.
If my son pulled my hair and touched my face I wouldn't let him sleep with me. As far as the noise is concerned it sounds normal some kids talk in their sleep so maybe he's talking without opening his mouth.
A couple of things come to mind.
1.Hair pulling can be painful. I suggest you tie your hair down with a satin or silk scarf so he can't get to it. They only way to avoid the face thing is to work on a program to get him to stay out of your bed.
2.Have you tried putting him back into his own bed once he falls asleep?
3.Another thing I used to do is return my son to his bed and lay there with him until he falls asleep.Then I would get up and get back to my bed.
4. The humming thing you should definitely speak to the doctor about since it has been going on for most of his life.
Best of luck to you
Since you don't mind him coming into your room why not look for a small cot that you can place next to your bed. Our son comes into our room from time to time and he is all over the place when he sleeps. I found a small cot for $30 at walmart.com and it has worked great. And it folds up really compact so it will be great to take with us if we visit a hotel.
stop him coming to your bed - get him a cot for the floor, and say he can come into your room, but not your bed, you have to be firm. even if you are half asleep get up and tell him to get onto his cot - he will get the message in about 3 nights, be FIRM lol
i had the exact same problem with my son, who came to our bed every night, he would roll around and grind his teeth, bash me in the face, end up with his feet in my face. i think we were all keeping each other awake. he was about 5 when i had to stop it, when he was 6 i moved his cot out and said it was time for him to be in his own room.
by the way supernanny style didnt work for my extremely wilful son, i tried it every night for a week, and he still came in, because he was scared to be in his room on his own.
my 5 month old falls asleep touching and scraching my face.
he also has troublefalling asleep in the play pin so mommy and daddy puts him in the middle of us and then he falls asleep..
He also pulls my hair a whole lot more, when he falls asleep, awake, eating,ext :) going through same thing
I have an almost 5 year old daughter that has "played" with my hair since she was an infant, maybe 4 or 5 months old when it started. She does not pull my hair out, just constantly puts her fingers through my hair (even when she seems to be sleeping), but it can be annoying and hurts sometimes. It is definitely comforting for her and something she does when she is sleepy, also. She co-slept with us until she was about 18 months old and still wanders into our bed some nights. Sometimes I couldn't stand it and now it is mostly endearing. I know at some point it will stop and I will be sad. I think you and your husband need to decide what battle you are going to fight. If you just don't want him in your bed anymore, than that's what you need to work on. But if you don't mind him in your bed, you need to make rules. I think he is old enough to understand that he can't pull your hair or touch your face if he wants to be in your bed. I'm sure it is a habit and it will take some time to help him break it, but I think he can. Explain the new rules to him when he is awake and perhaps again just before going to sleep. When he starts doing it, hold his hands and remind him "Don't pull Mommy's hair or back to your bed!" I think you need to decide what is going to work for your family, set some rules, and stick to it! Good luck!
Hi Brenda,
This sounds like a serious problem. I understand you don't mind him sleeping in your bed, but if you don't train him to stay in his bed, he's going to continue walking all over you.
My daughter has a major infatuation with my hair. She likes to play with it when I read her her books. (it's a soother) Sometimes I get so irratated that I tell her she can't play with it. Of course she starts crying, but I always stick to my guns, I usually resort to putting it in a bun so she can't touch it. It used to much worse, but, I have seemed to get it under control in the last few months (my daughter is almost 3)
You REALLY need to get him out of your bed, why would you put yourself through this when there is a simple solution?
I have this great on-line book called "Sleep Solution Program". I can send it to you if you want, just email me at ____@____.com It will teach you how to keep your son in his room and the process you have to go through. If I learned anything from this book, it was the fact that I was the one allowing my daughters bad habits. Once I changed my views and my habits, my daughter followed suit. I'm not saying it was easy, but it worked. My daughter now sleep through the night and it is wonderful. I really suggest reading this book and, making some changes so everyone can get a restful nights sleep.
Hope to hear from you soon!
M.
I would ask his pediatrician about this. It seems to me that he's also not getting good sleep.
It is essential that everyone get a good night's sleep. Until this is resolved I would insist that he sleep in his own bed. Use SuperNanny's method of returning him to bed each time he comes to your room. You'll have to do this over and over and will lose sleep for a few nights until he learns to stay in his room. Be consistent, calm, kind but firm. If you relent, even once, it will take longer for him to learn.
You said that he knows he does this. Is it possible that he is continuing to do this because he does get attention by doing it? To grasp just 3-4 strands of hair at a time takes focus. Same with patting your face. I'd say he's not entirely asleep. He may be reaching for reassurance.
By telling him he's to stay in his own bed you are setting a reasonable boundary. Then be sure to give him the attention he needs during the awake times. Do you have a bedtime routine that helps him to settle into a sleeping stage? Say a bath, a story, perhaps songs. Fifteen minutes or more spent with just him. It may help him get into a deeper level of sleep if you play soft music that turns off after a bit.
Since he's been coming in to sleep with you for several years it will take time to change this routine. Start on a week end. And keep at it consistently for several nights.
The moaning/humming sound could be indicative of a medical problem. Talk with his pediatrician.
talk to the ped. tell your sons that if he dosnt stop bothering your face and hair you willNOT let him to sleep in your bed and follow through good luck A. no hills
When our kids were 4 & 2, they used to both find their way into our bed in the middle of the night. As long as we allowed it, they preferred our bed to theirs. We lost much sleep before we started taking them back to their own beds every time. It was a week of taking them back every night and explaining that we all sleep better in our own beds before they quit coming in. I know many moms & dads love to have their kids come sleep with them, but when the parents are losing sleep, it's time to do something about it. I know of other moms who make a little bed on the floor NEXT to their bed that their kids can come sleep on. I'm not sure that you'll get him to be a quiet sleeper, though, regardless of your efforts.
My son (2) has pulled on my hair ever since birth. It is a comfort thing I guess, he hasn't actually gotten any out yet but at times it is painful. He holds on to my ponytail like it's a handle. It's not just me either, he yanks on babysitters and grandmothers hair as well (but if course loves mine the best). I know how hard it is to reject a child sleeping with you, my 4 year old daughter comes into our room every night as well and prefers to sleep horizontally!! I look at both situations as temporary and habits that they will grow out of. They won't be 4 and 2 forever and someday we will have to beg for a hug let alone an occasional snuggle. I would ask your pediatrician about the sounds, just to be safe.
i don't have a remedy at the top of my head, but it would be an easy case for any classcial single-modality homeopath.
Good Luck
V.
Hi Brenda, As a mother for the past 29 years, my advice to you is to stop this behavior, ASAP, our children were not allowed in our bed except for a certain occasion or so, we honored the marriage bed for my husband and myself. Your son shouldn't be in your bed, I know other moms suggested a cot, in your room, I totally disagree, children have their own rooms and their own beds there is really no reason but habit for a child to continue to go into their parents room and in their bed. The noises in his sleep, could be allergies, I have a 2 month old in my daycare who gasps a lot when he sleeps. Why do you let him pull your hair out, why do you let him touch your face the way he does, In the 29 years experience I have with children I have never heard opf such a thing. Denise
