4 Y/o Still Doesn't Sleep Through the Night

I know they have sleep specialists here in Boston, I took my son to see Dr. Ferber at Children's Hospital in Boston (the Waltham campus). Do they have anyone like that near you? Sometimes it takes someone else to see something you are doing or a medical issue that needs attention that you are not seeing. Find someone near you and see if you need a referral. If she is 4, she won't outgrow it. Insist that you get the help that you need!
Good luck to you!

There could be physiological issues going on--like sleep apnea or maybe needing melatonin. Whatever inborn "bad sleeper" traits she has at this point may have become habit if you have not been consistent with her about what happens when she wakes. That's pretty normal with a sleep resistant child though--you're not sure if there is some physical reason for her behavior so you don't commit to a solution.

First--pursue the medical route so you can rule out a physical reason for her sleep issues.

If it is not physical--then you need to think through her sleep history and what different ways you have dealt with her (cosleeping, CIO, etc.) I personally don't cosleep or use CIO. I like the Baby Whisperer method for sleep problems--nice middle ground. But that being said, it is less important which method you choose know since she is 4, than how long use continue the method and perservere. Research carefully, pick a method and then don't stray from it. Your daughter has to know that when she does X, Y will happen. One big thing is --does she fall asleep with you in the room. That is a recipe for night wake ups because they wake up and remember you being there and then realize you are not. Try to find a method where you are not there right as she falls asleep. Does she have other anxiety issues? That could be influencing it too.

take her to a sleep specialist to see if she has sleep apnea....it happens in kids....allergy medicine can make a kid "hyper" and then they won't sleep.

Instead of just asking the Drs - FORCE them to find out what's wrong - at 4 she should be sleeping AT LEAST 8 hours a night....they are giving you a cop out instead of trying to figure out what's wrong.

have her tested for any sleep disorder...I can't believe the dr's have just given you some lame excuse - this has been going on since she was born!! COME ON!!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! You are your daughter advocate. YOU take on the drs to figure out why she won't sleep the night through.

If it's habit - it NEEDS to be changed and NOT encouraged. IF she wakes up in the middle of the night - she MAY NOT wake up anyone else. If it's an emergency - yes. But just because she woke up? NO FRICKING WAY!!!

She might have too much stimulation. Too much light. Too much noise. Try taking out the humidifier - it could be her room is too wet/damp to sleep. Get a thermometer/barometer to find out what her room is like - it should NOT have any more than 38% humidity - if it does - it's just too much.,..causes mold, irritation, etc.

Make sure the routine is the same - bath, brush, book, bed. Low light, low noise and keep this the same. Routines start after one week of doing them and a habit after a month. If she's been allowed to do this - wake you and every one else up - then it's not habit and the only way to stop it is to create a new habit.

I STRONGLY urge you to have her tested and DO NOT LET THE DOCTORS GIVE YOU COP OUTS.

What do you do when she wakes up? Do you make it too fun and interesting to be awake? Just by getting up and holding her, feeding her, or reading to her is attention she may be enjoying. It's hard to refuse them when it seems so sweet to rock them at 3am and snuggle, but it's just forming a habit that you don't want. Sounds like she's got her habit down to a science. Try turning everything off in her room and see if that helps. I can't stand the constant buzz or dribble of that "white noise" so many suggest. I like quiet. She may need to let her brain relax and the sounds just keep giving her somethng else to listen to and think about. Too much stimulation in my mind.

My daughter never slept through the night!!! We found out she had mild sleep apnea because her tonsils and adenoids were so large. Does your daughter snore loudly or sound like she's holding her breath, even for a few seconds, when she sleeps? These are signs of sleep apnea. After we had our daughter's adenoids and tonsils removed she slept alot better.

Sounds like she needs earlier bed times. Mine are not the best sleepers, and I have found that if I can get them to bed BEFORE they get ornery, then life is easier, they sleep better and everyone is happier. They are both early risers, but if they are in a good mood then it makes for an easier day. Establish a good night time routine, stick with it, and move it up an hour and see if that helps. A nap my help, even lying down and resting for such an active one, might help. Good luck.

Sorry you are having such a hard time. With my child who will be 6 y/o soon... I have the opposite problem. Most nights she sleeps well, usually will take a short nap after school and wake up groggy but pleasant. We co-sleep and have her entire life. The 2-3 times a month she takes awhile to fall asleep is frustrating enough, I could not imagine it being a constant thing!

Maybe offer her a nap around 1-3pm and ensure dinner is done and eaten by 6:30... read a book and sing to her from 7:30-8pm and then rub her back until she sleeps?

My younger daughter had severe sleep problems and yes - it contributes to low frustration tolerance, attentional difficulties, etc. Here is how sleep is critical - I totally agree it often is not taken seriously enough by the pediatricians. http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2008/07/sleep-critical-y...

And this is LOADED with tips: http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2009/01/sleep-timing-of-...

my now 9 yr old used to do this and still has tantrums at night, they are related to night terrors. They get worse when she's over tired.
She still wakes at night, she is ADHD and gifted.
Try giving her melatonin at bed time. start at 1 mg.
or try Chamomile tea.
We've been dealing with this since she was born,she never napped even as a new born.
Also what you may be seeing for the past 10 days could be related to something that's going on before bed, somethign she's eating just before bed or she may be going through a growth spurt.

Hi M., while I agree with all these other moms that she may have an underlying medical issues which ought to be checked out, I'd also like to say, my oldest is a non-sleeper. He is 18 now and away at school and having great success in life, with no medical issues, he just does not seem to need the sleep the other two do/did.

When he was your daughter's age, I decided it was time for alternative solutions. I bought him a reading lap. He was allowed to choose 2 books before going to bed, that he could look at after being put to bed. I have to say, he became a voracious reader (more so then the other two), always got up for school with no problems, made it through his day without fatigue...

And, has read zillions of books, tehehe, knows everything about everything, and is having a full healthy life.

HTH!

:)

While I agree with the others that you need to pursue possible medical reasons behind it, I would also ditch the night light AND the humidifier. My kids never needed white noise to sleep and it actively bothers ME. I can sometimes fall asleep to the TV when I otherwise can't just drop right off to sleep, but then it wakes me up a few hours later, even with the volume turned WAY down.

I also know that even having my bedside clock turned too directly towards the bed can inhibit my sleep. I turn it away so that the "glow" doesn't hit me in the face. I read (way back when, when my kids were babies--so 10-12 years ago) that nightlights are bad. They are not neutral. The light inhibits deep sleep. If she is dependent on it, wean her off--- but if she isn't dependent and it is just something you guys put in there, then take it out.