About 2 weeks ago our 4 month old spiked a fever of 103.5 for no apparent reason (we brought her to the hospital and they couldn't find anything wrong to explain the fever). For a couple of days after that she was really lethargic and we held her most of the day and even part of the night since we were a little worried about her. This is our first child and first fever. Now, she will not fall asleep on her own and will not stay asleep when put down. She will fall asleep on either mine or my husband's shoulder and can be asleep for a half hour to an hour so we try to place her in her bed. She wakes up almost immediately and will not stop crying, no matter how tired she is, until we pick her up. During the night if we have somehow gotten her to stay asleep in her bed, she wakes up to eat and then refuses to go back in her bed. She ends up sleeping with us in the bed just so we can get some sleep. We just started trying to teach her to self-soothe by putting her in bed around the same times every day when she is looking drowsy. It seems to be working but how long should we expect it to take before she will learn? The crying is really getting to us. Are there any other suggestions? We would love her to start sleeping through the night. It seems like she never will right now.
Just wanted to let you know i went through the similar thing and sometimes you will just have to let them cry it is good for them to cry. Kids will pick up on your stress and if they know it is benefiting them they will continue to do it. If you try to ignore it, it will get better. I know as a mother you can tell the difference in their cries. Try to listen a little closer. If you need me i'm here
My fiance started swaddling our daughter before we even left the hospital. We both read this book while I was pregnant "The Happiest Baby on the Block". It has 5 techniques to use in a certain order to lull a baby to sleep and swaddling is number one. Now that she is almost 6 months we don't wrap her up anymore unless she gets pretty riled up, and this still works. It helps her feel secure and as if she is being constantly held. I really believe that swaddling helped her sleep through the night very early on. That may help with your baby wanting to be held. Since she seems to want to be near you at night, you could try letting her sleep in your room just not in your bed, that way she feels better that you are close by. As her sleep stretches get longer,move her into her own bed after she has fallen asleep. I know that this seems like it will not solve the problem, but slowly and surely we transitioned our baby into her own room. You could also try cueing her sleep with a song. I sing "you are my sunshine" right before every nap and bedtime. I swear her eyes start to roll back in her head before I get around to the second verse. My daughter is also a binky baby and loves her pacifiers. I just think maybe trying some different soothing techniques such as the ones in the book I referred to might be helpful, sucking is also one of them. Also, it is much easier to move her once she is sleeping if she is swaddled, because once you get good at wrapping, they are a pretty tight little bundle. Hope any of this helps.
I would consider that your daughter is very young and just got through being sick for the first time and has really enjoyed the closeness with you and your husband. I'm not a cry-it-outer, and we let my babies sleep with us, and everyone is happy at our house. I understand not everyone likes to do that, and I'm not telling you this is what you should do, but for optimal happiness for everyone in the house, I recommend a gentler course of action- allowing her to sleep with you until she's comfortable by herself- picking her up when she cries so she knows you will respond to her distress signals- laying her down after she's fallen asleep or moving her to her bed after she's fallen asleep in yours. I would work with her, making sure to always respond to her needs, or what she perceives as her needs, because you are forming a very foundational part of your relationship right now, and IMO, not responding to her can damage the bond of trust between you and your daughter. This in ONLY my opinion, as a mama of 5.
There's a great book called the No-Cry Sleep Solution that you might find helpful.
Best of luck to your family!
It might take them a while to get used to falling asleep by their selves but eventually it will happen. Maybe try putting on some soft music to help her fall asleep.
Hi J.,
First of all BIG HUGS!!! Sounds like things have been super hectic around your house lately.
What got me through those first really tough months of sleep training with my son was a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth.
At this age your daughter should be just old enough to start the "cry it out" method... IF that's a method that you're OK with. Some parents aren't and some are. All I can say is it worked beautifully (eventually) for us. Our son can get himself to sleep on his own - in his bed - every nap and every bedtime unless he's sick. The book goes in to greater detail, and also gives other methods if that doesn't work for you. BTW: I wouldn't try to read the book cover-to-cover; there's a lot of research in it that's extraneous material. Just read the parts pertaining to your daughter's age-range.
What can also help to train them to "like" their bed again is to warm the mattress with a heating pad before they go to bed. Just pull it out really quickly before she goes in there. A lot of times when they leave your warm arms and get transferred to a cold sheet it's like a wake-up call for their little bodies. A couple of weeks of doing that should suffice. Also, try offering her a transitional comfort like a blankie or something that stays in bed with her.
I hope this helps even a little and good luck!
Best Wishes,
J.
P.S. - How could I forget swaddling?!?!? Some others wisely mentioned it. It's a wonderful soothing method. Also, my son sleeps with a white noise machine on in his room and as soon as I turn it on he starts yawning.
Hi! My oldest daughter had the same problem. What I did was start by putting her in the same room but not in the same bed with me. I then slowly moved her to her own room. It took about 2 weeks but now she sleeps in her own bed and dosnt want anything to do with mine!
Hi J.!
Sounds like you are having a rough week. When my daughter was in the hospital for Rotovirus she got into the habbit of those sleeping habits like your little one. We actually had to do the "cry it out" method. It was really hard to do but we got through it. We always made sure she had her favorite blanket though and we had gotten a crib device that puts stars on the ceiling of her room...that seemed to help a little. You might also want to try the bears that have the sounds of the mother's womb, that always seems to help a baby sleep too. Best of luck to you and your husband.
