4 Month Old Sleep (3Rd Time Mom Would Think I Know These Things)

Updated on February 16, 2015
N.M. asks from Abington, MA
4 answers

Let me just say, I have experienced a similar phenomenon with my 2nd son but the only answer was to let him CIO at 6 months of age. Before anyone calls me evil, let me say that it took 7 minutes so it wasn't a big deal.

Background: My daughter is almost 19 weeks old. She used to sleep 11-7 from 6 weeks until 3.5 months. Then the 4 month thing happened and she started waking up every hour or two needing a pacifier or a feed. I give her a bottle of expressed milk right before bed in order to help fill her up when my supply is low and then am willing to feed her anytime after 2. Out of desperation I took her into the bed with me where she began sleeping fine again without many pacifier wake ups or any problems at all. I don't like cosleeping and I think she's starting to come out of the regression so last night I tried something new.

Problem: Like my second son, she goes to bed for the night with no problem. I do rock her to sleep but try to keep her a little bit awake when transferred. 20 minutes to 45 minutes later she wakes up (sleep cycle). The soothing method I use to put her back to sleep varies. I will put the pacifier back in, pick her up and rock, pat her bum...whatever works. Then she goes back down for only 10 minutes. These 10 minute cycles continue for 2 more hours. Finally, she then sleeps until her normal 4 am feeding. So she can sleep through sleep cycles. Additionally, her early morning nap is often 3 hours long with no intervention on my part so I know she can sleep.

Things I've tried: Early bedtime, later bedtime, controlling the wake up time, shortening naps, adding naps closer to bedtime and just waiting until 11. So far nothing has worked.

I'm willing to do CIO again at 6 months if necessary but not before. I don't think she's quite there yet. I've tried putting her down awake and she is happy for a bit but then cries and never falls asleep. I did wait 7 minutes one time to see if she would be like my son and she just got more hysterical. I don't think it's going to be as easy but then again he was older. Should I keep trying the early bedtime and hope it works? I have read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and Ferber's book. Neither addresses this issue. My first son never did this at all. He always napped well and slept well at night. I didn't realize how lucky I was.

What can I do next?

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

She's just growing and her body has different needs. When she's older you won't see the phases as readily. Kids who are having a growth spurt will start eating everything they can get their hands on, they eat and eat and eat. Then they chub out and you're thinking they are just getting fat. But they're probably not. They will chub out then shoot up one night while they're sleeping. Then their clothes will fall off them and they aren't eating much at all.

In a small baby their phases aren't as obvious. She's eating a bunch because she's about to grow a bunch. Then she'll go back to a normal sleep cycle and crying it out won't be what caused it.

Letting a baby fuss for a few moments isn't a harmful or cruel thing but when a baby is all and all out crying they don't understand why mom or dad aren't coming to see what they want. They are learning to trust or not trust those who take care of them at this age and letting them lay in bed and cry for extended periods of time is just cruel. I know that isn't what you mean when you say CIO but please do know she's learning to trust you and count on you. If she needs or wants you there are plenty of years ahead of you where you can say no to her.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Google 4 month sleep regression.

My favorite parenting expert for sleep is the baby whisperer, solves all your problems. She helps you figure out the right question, and then you can find the answer.

1 mom found this helpful
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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

She's letting you know in the only way she knows how to (crying) that she needs something.

She is either hungry (most like AND going through growth spurts) and/or
teething. (Any chance of colic? Please look into this.)

Here's what I have to say that will most likely help w/o a doubt: Feed her
AND give her some pain meds for teething (rub infant Orajel on her gums any chance you get AND possibly give her some Infant Tylenol. The Infant Motrin is better a little later on in a few months.) I'm telling you this should work (ruling out acid reflux).
Pick her up, feed her, rock her until she falls sleep then wait about 15 mins before laying her down. When you lay her down, hold her close to your chest as you lay her down into her crib/bassinet so she doesn't feel like "she's falling & wakes up".
At this young age, she won't follow a nap schedle.
She's most likely growing or teething.
Don't CIO. She's trying to let you know in her only way that she needs something. Getting her on a sleep schedule right now won't work. And remember all kids are differet. What worked for one, won't work for another.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Kids are not always exactly like their siblings.
She might be having a growth spurt.
She might be having a bit of colic.
Maybe it's teeth or ears or reflux or something else.
At any rate, any time you get 5 hours of sleep in a row - be grateful!
Our son rarely slept through the night till he was almost 3 yrs old.
Nap when she naps so YOU catch up on your own sleep.
Tough to do but sleep is more important than anything else you want to try to catch up on.

1 mom found this helpful
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