4 Month Old Freaks Out When Not at Home.

Baby needs to be out more. Babies that are out and about and can sleep
in different places, are much more flexible kids. If you get upset when she
starts crying, she will pick up on that and then you will just go around in
circles. So try to get out more, relax and time will help.

She could be sensitive to noise, lights and smells.

She could be picking up on YOUR feelings - "oh God - is she going to freak?" So when babies feel tension they react ....she could be feeling YOUR tension!!

Cheryl beat me to it. :)

When my son was young (6 or 7 months old?), I could not go through a drive thru window. The speakers (when the people would talk) made him scream and cry. I don't think it was because he didn't understand where the voice was coming from either, b/c he would be asleep and wake up from them talking to me and start crying/screaming. It just "grated" on him I guess. He is still very quick to mention that noises (too many people talking at once, too many different types of sounds --music, talking, and something tapping, etc) are very distracting to him. He will get angry with his sister for singing when he is trying to do homework. He is just very aware and quickly overloaded by certain or too many sounds. He is a normal child. No hypersensitivities or anything. It just doesn't take as much for him to be bothered as for some people.

Maybe your baby is like that. It might be the flourescent lighting, the weird height/appearance of the ceilings (the warehouse ceiling that is WAY up high above, and she's looking up from a car carrier, probably, right?), or some odor in the stores, or too many sounds, just too much stimulation.. you just never know. My son would go into "shut down" mode as an infant (under 2 months) and go to sleep if we went out to eat in public. My daughter never did that (we assumed she would, and hoped she would, but she didn't!). And she is not sensitive to too much noise/stimuli like her brother.

I suggest that her nervous system isn't developed enough to be able to handle the unknown; the noise, the movement, the difference in your demeanor. She is just more sensitive than other babies and easily feels overwhelmed.

She may get used to it if you go out more but I doubt it. It's a matter of sensitivity to many things. It takes more than being used to being out. It takes a more mature nervous system.

K., what is life inside your home like? Is it relatively quiet? Does she sleep in silence? Do you have music playing, TV in the background, lots of "normal noise"?

If things are really quiet in your house, it's probably hard on her going out, because things are not quiet, including in the car. I have to say that I always had daytime pretty loud when my kids were home, even from birth, especially during naptime, because I wanted them to know the difference in day and night. And I didn't want to have to tiptoe around the house. I knew that daycare wouldn't be like that and I didn't want to shoot myself in the foot with this issue.

Something you might consider is finding someone who does infant massage. Learn how to do this - it might help her. Meanwhile, some of the other ladies are giving you some good advice, especially about holding her close.

Good luck!
Dawn

I truly believe the more you get your kids out....the better they'll adapt. UNLESS there is an underlying issue. & that issue could be with the child &/or with you......

Make sure you're focusing on her, make sure you're not stressing over your 3yo's behavior.....many things to think about! As others have suggested, a carrier would be helpful.

In our case, my sons thrived on being out. Didn't matter whether it was the carseat or stroller, they loved being social & exploring. It was a blessing.

Some infants get too stimulated by all of the sounds and the lights.It is just to much going on at once.. Remember only a few months ago your infant was in a nice warm quiet cocoon.. Out and about is as opposite as can be to being in your womb. ..

Some do not like riding in the car. They may feel car sick, may not be comfortable in their car seats, or maybe do not feel secure with the movement.

Many infants are very intuitive to their mothers emotions. So if you are anxious, harried, upset/, etc. your child can feel these emotions.

So just do short trips or go with your husband or a friend so he can handle your child while out. She will get used to it..

How do you react? How is she transported/held/etc? Have you tried wearing her in strange situations? Why not hold her close? A carrier of some sort may offer you hands-free so you can shop but reassure her that Mommy's there, she's OK vs being in a carrier in a cart or something.

Babies have many more neural connections in their brains than we do. And every baby is different. For some little ones the unfamiliar noises are completely overwhelming. Make sure they are well rested and well fed, then just try different trips but keep it short. They usually outgrow it as the neural connections are pruned, but some kids take much longer and it can have an affect on their school experiences. If that is the case for your kids, reading about Sensory Processing Disorder can help you gain better understanding.

My son was okay with noises until he was about 10 months old, then they started to completely overwhelm him.

Are you breastfeeding? My first daughter( now two) was like that until I started wearing her in a carrier. Me and two of my cousins all had girls about a few weeks apart, I'm the only one that breastfed and the only one who's baby cried when she wasn't close to mommy. Now I have a 4 month old also and she does the same thing. Some say breastfed babies are more prone to seperation anxiety, with both my daughters this seems to be true. I use a moby wrap and it's great, there is no way I could go shopping with my two year old and 4 month old without it. When we go to family get togethers I take it for when she gets fussy from the overstimulation. It really makes a difference, they just want to be close. It even helps them to bond with other people, my husband will put her in a different carrier( a manly one lol) and it keeps her calm . We carry them in our bellies and all they know is the closeness of mommy for those 9 months, i think it can get a little scary on the outside, separated from us.

My daughter could not handle being out of the house in the evening as an infant. She especially hated being in the car when it was dark outside. She is afraid of men, except for her daddy who she adores. She has panic attacks around men and she is only 3. Now that she is older we can talk through her feelings more but there is no convincing her that her fears are unnecessary. Even now, if the sky is just overcast and we are in the car, she gets nervous. But she can handle the darkness better now. I try not to coddle her. I try to keep a balance between protecting her from the things that cause her extreme anxiety and teaching her to overcome her fears. When she was an infant, that meant we made an extra effort to be in our own home in the evenings. That was an adjustment for us because she is the 3rd kid and the rest of us were used to doing things differently. But everyone is happier when the baby isn't crying uncontrollably so it was worth it to make the adjustment. Good luck!