4 Month Old Daughter Not Sleeping

I am a childcare provider for some friends of mine and this has happened. I have found that if I don't do the routine that they are used to, that this is what the result is. Although it may offend her, if she doesn't already do it, whatever you do for your daughter before those nap times may be something she is going to have to learn to do. Also, even if the room is too different than what she is used to sleeping (darkness, etc), that may be a consideration as well. Does she have the usual things that she sleeps with, etc.? I know that this may all be the same old information, but I know from experience with my kids and those that I care for, routine is crucial as much as possible. They thrive and love it. There is comfort for them in that. God Bless!

I would bet that your MIL isn't putting her down when she should. My mom was the same way. After about the 3rd time we brought my son home from her house and he was crabby - we realized she wasn't following our schedule (eating times and nap times) and that was throwing his whole schedule off. She finally admitted that she believed when he was tired, he would fall asleep.

So, you may just want to write down what time your daughter should eat, how much, when she should be put in the crib and (if you believe their door should be shut) - if their house is noisy and your house isn't, your daughter may cry and your MIL may just run and pick her up instead of letting her cry it out (kids are very smart). My mom even believed giving my son candy (not at 4 months, but at 1.5 years old), but our goal was not to let him have any candy until he as 2. Her idea there was that we had candy and she doesn't think anything is wrong with giving her grandkids candy. She gave my daughter candy well before she turned 1 and to this day my son doesn't like candy at all whereas my daughter will eat it for breakfast if given a chance (and probably does when she's at grandmas).

Oh, be prepared to hear "if you don't like how I babysit, find someone else". My mom always said that to us (and she only saw the kids once a month - her doing, not ours).

Anyway, after you give her a detailed schedule, call at a specific time and see if she's following your request.

Definitely have a blanket or something that goes back and forth-can you wash the sheet with your laundry?

How do you put her down? How does Grandma put her down? Does Grandma pick her up at the first sign of fussiness? Does she put her down when she's "glazing over" or when she's really fussy/tired? The first will ensure baby goes down better.

We love the book On Becoming Babywise for our sleep schedule. My biggest concern is that you and MIL aren't on the same page with schedule, etc. Maybe reading the same book would help.

This happens with my children too. Though while they were that young they did nap for a little bit at my parents, but as they got to be 1 year or so, they will not sleep there. I guess they are more aware that they are not at home. But my 21 month old goes to my parents 1 day a week and by the time i get there, he is so so tired. He will not nap there. So, he just goes to bed when we get home and sleeps later the next day and takes a longer nap. It sucks but he just wont nap there. But he seems to make up for it the next day. SInce your child is so young, i would have them keep trying to get her to nap a few times a day. She needs it. Maybe play music or mimic your house as closely as possible. But if she really wont, dont go crazy about it.

My daughter went through this, my daughter would not sleep in the crib at my mom's so I made sure she had a blanket that she used at home and the only place my daughter would sleep was in her high chair when she went to grandma's. When she first starting going there it took a few weeks to get her used to the new house. She will adjust.

She may just have problems with sleeping outside of her home or away from her parents. It might help if you stay overnight with her at your MIL's a few nights so that she feels more comfortable staying with your mother in law. the frequent napping (really 4 throughout the day?) might be keeping your daughter up also.