4-Year Old Son Wets Bed

Updated on April 14, 2008
M.L. asks from La Quinta, CA
17 answers

Hi Moms. My son is 4&1/2 and has stayed dry all night several times. But after the first few nights, he began wetting again and now never seems to make it through without an accident. He'll be starting kindergarten in the fall, so I was hoping to have him out of the night time pull-ups soon, but perhaps I'm expecting too much. At what age did your boys stop needing a night time diaper? Thanks in advance for the feedback.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the great tips. We've never made him feel bad about his little accidents, and now we know that so many other kids have the same issue. We're relieved to know that our approach (which has just been to calmly change his bedding, get him dry, and tell him it's okay) has been among the best ways to handle it. We're going to put him back into pull-ups for a while, just to avoid changing the sheets so often (we already have the waterproof mattress cover). We'll wait a while and try without the pull-ups whenever he feels ready.

Thanks ladies!

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

M.~
With my daughter, I stopped liquids at 7:00 PM. The only water she got was after brushing teeth and that was just a swallow. Then I would wake her up at 10:00 PM to go potty. After a few nights of this routine, she started getting up by herself to go potty and the bed wetting stopped. She did have a few accidents, but for the most part she could make it through the night. Good Luck!!
Hugs,
K.

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear M.,
I am a mom of 3 and also a Feng Shui practitioner. I found that sometimes its the color of the sheets, which cause the wetting. If in your sons case they are dark blue, try a light blue/green or even red shade. Also an aquarium in his bedroom could cause the trouble. If there is one, you should take it out.
Good luck!
A. Halfon,
Woodland Hills

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K.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi M.,

My son is almost eight and still has the same issue with bed wetting. He actually went almost a year and started again. We have found through research that mostly for him it has to do with dairy intake and stress. If he has had a lot of dairy he will wet the bed (this is also true of sugar in other kids) or if he had a rough day he may wet also. Some hints would be to look into how much dairy and sugar he is eating also have a regular bedtime every night. It is something you can get professional help for which is something we have done because there are many people who do not understand bedwetting and why it happens. Whatever you do, do not blame him because he has absolutely no control over it and that will only add more stress and pressure.
I hope this helps.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

His his kindergarten class at night? Kidding obviously. He can still wear pull ups at night AND go to kindergarten. Most kids do not stay dry at night until 5 or 6 years old. Some older, some younger. My 5.5 to daughter soaks her pull ups at night.

Hope that helps.
M.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Reno on

My son has wet the bed twice since he was trained a year ago but my uncle and my cousin wet the bed here and there until they were around puberty. So I doubt there is a real gauge on the actual age that they won't wet the bed and if there is there will be kids that don't fit into it. There are things you can try like not allowing liquids after a certain time and having them pee before going to bed but nothing is certain from one kid to another. I wouldn't make a big deal about it since it's not intentional like a kid who can't stop playing to go potty. Some kids have smaller bladders and things happen. I can actually remember having dreams in my pre-teens that I was walking to the toilet, sitting on the toilet and ended up having an accident in bed. If he is staying dry through the day that's good and you might want to try putting him in underpants and shielding his matress. If he can't stand being wet in those conditions it might help him to wake up and pee before it happens. I know they make comments that nighttime pullups are so great but it's nothing compared to wet underwear and pajamas. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

A.L.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

I have a daughter so it may not be exact advise, but she occasionally wet the bed till she was about 7. She just slept too soundly. We did the sheets, did not make her feel ashamed. She was asleep for heavens sake, not trying to do anything wrong. Her bladder finally grew up, a little later than others....its hard not to compare, but each child has their own clock.

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A.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

M.,
It's been touch and go with my 4.5 year old twins. One has a pretty laid back personality and really doesn't like to get out of bed for the bathroom in the a.m. He also says that he dreams about peeing in the toilet while he is asleep and will wake up wet the next a.m. My other child does well with staying dry (although he's on the top bunk) and will have occasional bouts of peeing the bed. I have come up with a solution since both me and my boyfriend work and don't have time to do all the laundry that a wet bed entails. I let them sleep with pull-ups (both of them) during the weeknights before I go to work the next morning and during the weekends they get to wear their "big boy" underwear to help them (especially Michael) understand when he has to go to the bathroom. It takes a while for little guys to get the sensation and I wouldn't be too upset that he is having relapses on occasion. Maybe our routine would work for you, too! I also invested in some great waterproof mattress pads.
Good luck!
A.

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C.H.

answers from San Diego on

We have a routine for our 4 year old. He is to go pee-pee before nap and bedtime. He ocassionally has an accident, however, it has pretty much ended the night time accidents.

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son oldest son was a bed wet'r. He could occasionally stay dry, but most nights is was a "shower". We tried and tried again to no avail. He was actually about 7 when it all turned around. We did nothing but support him and just let it run it's course. Remember, their little bladders are still very small. Also, if he sleeps really hard, that is also part of the problem. Just so you know, my son is 12 now and it's over!! Thank God!

I also have twins that are 8 now and I was determined not to let this happen again. "like I could really do that"!!!!
Well one day when the were 3, we told them not more diapers, guess what, these two said "oh, okay" and neither one of them wet the bed more that a coulpe times. I really think it just depends on the child..
Be patient and know it won't last forever.
Sorry for rambling!

D.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had two sons, and boys have a tendancy to take a little longer,in that department. After driving myself nuts,for years,I finally resolved the problem. First, my oldest was very small...Thus having a (small bladder) This doesn't help! He was also a deep sleeper,That was good, but not for waking to use the bathroom.The way I finally resolved the problem,was very simple. No drinks before bed,and no matter how much he resisted going...I made him go to the bathroom (Just before going to bed) Amazing how that helped.When he'd have a relapse,I'd wake him once during the night,and help walk him in his sleep to the toilet! They soon get use to waking to go. best of luck to you and your active sons.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Don't worry, there are LOTS of children this age who still wear night-time diapers.
Don't make him feel self-conscious or dampen his spirit though. And don't compare him to others, or your friends kids. Don't expect too much too soon.

In the meantime, just put a waterproof bed pad under him. That way, if he wets the bed, it's easier to clean and you don't have to wash the entire bedding. That's what I did with my girl. She is 5 years old, and only this year did she stop wearing the night time diapers. But, I still place a waterproof bed pad under her, "just in case." Sometimes, she'd have an accident just because she was sleeping so solidly that she didn't even know to wake up and go to the toilet. That happens too. Also, don't give him any liquids after dinner and make sure he pees before bed.

Really, don't fret about it. I know, sometimes Parents are embarrassed perhaps about their child still wearing night-time diapers or breastfeeding at a later age for example. But it's no big deal. Every child is different. They will be ready when they are ready. Your son is obviously still transitioning to all night dryness. But as adults, even we have to go pee in the middle of the night sometimes too, right?

It's okay. If he has no other medical or health concerns, I wouldn't worry about it.

Take care,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

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A.R.

answers from Las Vegas on

My 10 year old son still wets the bed most nights. It is really hard on him because he has 2 younger brothers and a sister (8,4,and 3) who all never wet the bed. We have tried EVERYTHING. What works the best is medication prescribed by the pediatrician. It doesn't CURE bedwetting, but when he takes it consistantly, he's dry. We also buy him Goodnights and try not to make a big deal about it. The doctor says that it is more of a laundry problem than a problem with the child. He said that by age 18, 10% of kids are STILL wetting the bed. There is nothing you can really do until they grow out of it.

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C.P.

answers from San Diego on

Our son did this till he was a little over 3 - we bribed him with a toy firetruck that he really wanted... we told him that if he got away from the pull-ups and made it to the bathroom, we'd give it to him. In about 2 weeks - he worked it out and got his firetruck..
Good luck!
C.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

We are working through this with my son who is almost 6. Talk to his doctor. My doctor explained that boys have very immature bladders and it can take them a while to stay dry through the night.
First, the obvious, don't let him drink a lot at dinnertime and before bed. Make sure he is actually going to the bathroom before he goes to bed. Also try waking him up before you go to bed and have him go again (beware-his aim will be even worse while sleepy!)
If those don't help and it has been going a while, talk to your dr. about medication. Our son is taking Dessmopressin every night before bed. He stays dry more often but not always. I'm thinking of asking the dr. to up his dosage, sometimes he still wets the sheets through the pullup.
Good luck and happy sheet washing=)

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K.S.

answers from San Diego on

My almost seven year-old son wasn't able to stay dry until six and a half. He wanted out of the pull ups but he couldn't stay dry no matter what incentives were offered. Finally he was able to do it - his body just had to be ready. My other son was able to be dry at three years. they're all different.

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V.A.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hi M.,

Just leave him in pull-ups and don't make an issue out of it. You have a relatively new child so he may be unconsciously acting out a bit. Some say it could be his wish to go back to a time when he felt more cared for. Boys generally take longer to train than girls and it can do more damage to worry him about it. Also, it's possible that he sleeps very soundly.

V.

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L.A.

answers from San Diego on

I am the mom of four boys, and in my opinion you are expecting way too much. He is in a precarious position in the family, as the oldest with two little ones behind him. The oldest child is always expected to be more mature than his age, I think. Mine was! I had two who had trouble with night time dryness, and two who never wet the bed. It is way too early to call your son a bed wetter, since he is so young, but one of mine wet the bed until he was 6 and the other until he was about 9. Sometimes, not all the time. After the fact my mother in law told me that 4 of her 6 kids had been bed wetters, even into the teen years. I wish she'd told me earlier, but the point is, actual bed wetting is usually hereditary. In your son's case, he is four. Keep the Pull Ups on until he doesn't need them. Don't make a big deal out of it. He will get the hang of it. I did find it happened more often if my sons had milk after dinner, so watch the dairy products before bed.

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