3.5 Yr Old Son Who STILL Has Separation Anxiety

You need someone who won't call you to pick him up at the drop of a hat - and clearly that's not the gym daycare staff. Do you have a friend who would be willing to watch him while you go to the gym for now? When you select a preschool for him make sure the staff have the time and patience to help him separation anxiety. My son did the crying 'til he vomited thing too. The place he went to preschool would just clean it up and move on without making any big deal of it. It took him 6 weeks to stop crying and after that I had to drag him out the door because he was having so much fun he didn't want to go home!
Practice being away from family is the only thing that is going to help.

At that age, I find it hard to believe that crying until he vomits is an accident. Especially since he is okay with a sitter. It seems to me that he has learned that with a sitter, you are not coming back early no matter what so he might as well get used to it. At the gym, all he has to do is make a big enough fuss and you will come back for him. Try sending him, alone, to a preschool with limited hours, like 2 hours a day, 3 days a week, and see how he does. Make sure that in picking a preschool you talk to the staff about his behavior and how you want to break him of these habits, and make sure you have teachers and staff willing to work with him instead of calling you to come get him. When you drop him off make sure you make it a quick affair. Tell him goodbye, you love him, and you'll be back, and walk out with a smile. If he sees that his theatrics can make you stay longer, or make you feel bad, it will get worse. The fact that he is an introvert, and very attached to you, may never change, but you are right that he has to learn some independence to get along in life.

My child magically stopped when she turned four. That security is important to them! Sometimes giving them half of something you have or something matching something you have can be a reminder that you're coming back and that you're there with them when you're not. Or a picture in their backpack, or a special lovey.

🌼🌺🌸💐🌷🌹🌻for you. Hope you get lots of good advice, because I am also looking for a solution. Breaks my heart 🙍. My son is four years old and an only child I don't know if that has to do with it?