3.5 Yr Old Son Poops on Himself:(

When my son did this, I would have him clean his own underpants. He would have to dump the poo in the toilet and flush, and then get on a stool and rinse the underpants w/ soap in the sink. I wouldn't be mean about it, just matter of fact. "You made the mess, you clean it up". He would look at me like I was crazy and when he realized I was serious, he stopped messing in his pants after about three times of having to wash them out. My Mother thought I was terrible for making him do this, but it was the tactic I chose and it worked for my little one.

If he kind of poops on a schedule, then try to get him in the bathroom right around that time and stay in there with him. Read a book to him while he sits on the potty. I think for a lot of kids, it's harder to poop because they are used to squatting in a diaper to do it. The legs pushed into the belly help probably too when they are like this. Well, you can't get a good squat position on the toilet so you'll need to get him in there and try to relax so he can learn how to go that way.

Good luck!
S.

I made mine wash out his own underwear. The first time he cried and said "ewww gross". I told him I thought it was gross too. The second time he started crying before he even told me because he knew he would have to wash them out. There never was a third time.

I think he would have been content to allow me to wipe his bum forever if he could have gotten away with it.

HUGS to you.

I have heard of nanny's making the kids clean up their own messes and that being impactful- I am just suprised how many people responded with that.

Does your son have any "habits" associated with pooping his pants? ours would always sneak away to a private place. We could often intervene that way. He was pee trained easy, but that poop part took a while longer!

I just threw away those underpants- honestly who wants to clean them out, and I bought the cheapest ones in the store figuring in the long run it was cheaper than pull ups!

A 3.5 year old won't get teased for pooping on himself.

My oldest son had minor poop accidents until he was 8 or so, and the bigger deal I made about it the more he did it. I suggest ignoring it and cleaning him up. If the preschool teachers are good, they might have more success. Sometimes boys do this as a control issue.

I do NOT agree with the mom's that think a three year old should wash his poopy pants. That is a punishment and your child is still developing. I would imagine punishment could lead to psychological issues later on........ like anal retentive behavior. I'M NO AUTHORITY. This is just what I think.

I can see why you are concerned about starting school, but you have 5 more weeks at least. Stay patient. When he makes a mistake I wouldn't be mad, but I would say, "Oh dear. Let's get cleaned up."

Take him to the potty often and have him sit. Praise the heck out of him when he does it right, and have rewards. I'll keep my fingers crossed that he will be trained by August!

Just want to say we are going through the same thing. Son just turned 3.5 and has been pee trained for almost a year but still will only rarely poop on the potty. He doesn't go in his underwear, he waits to get a pull up on at night or in the am when he first wakes up. I don't know what to do b/c I can't let him go all night w/o a pull up. We sit w/ him, feed tons of fruit, talk about it, offer any and every prize, etc but nothing is working. He is also headed to preschool in Sept and I need this fixed. I think we will just have to clean a few wet beds. I can't really make him wash a pull up.

My step son had the same problem at the same age. We started making him clean his pooped underwear himself.. which he found disgusting. He would whine and act like he couldnt do it but we would make it wash them out in the toilet. We didnt act like it was a punishment but more like a fact of life "well, when you get something dirty and you make a mess.. it is your job to clean it." We didn't give into his whining or his helpless attitude.. we just stood by his side and told him how to clean them.

I don't think this is cruel or causes any psychological damage... it makes them independent and teaches a kid to clean themselfs and not to rely on mom or dad. I am a kindergarten teacher, I would never do something to "screw up" my child. I tried the other suggestions that the other moms had a nd even made a post on here. Nothing worked until we started making him clean himself and his underwear. It wasn't torture or punishment and we didn't sit there and say "ohh, you are so gross. clean up your poop, that's disgusting!"

Kids don;t start to think it is gross or weird when another classmate has accident until about the end of 1st grade or 2nd grade. But the other kids do recognize that so and so pees and poops their pants on a regular basis.