3.5 Yr Old Disinterested in Using Potty

It always confuses me when someone says a 3 year old REFUSES to do something. What is going to happen when she is 16 if she is refusing to obey now? Take her little hand every 30 minutes and sit her on the toilet for 5 minutes. No excuses, no whining that she doesnt have to, just put her there. Eventually she will get tired of being MADE to sit and do it herself. Its a power play and right now SHE has the power.

My older son was disinterested in using the potty also. He told me I won't get him trained. When he soiled or wet his pants he would just happily keep playing like it was normal. So I was forced to make him sit in the kitchen in the corner when he pooped or wet his pants untill he asked me to change him. This would usually involve taking a quick, no playing, bath. I told him he was not allowed to go into the carpeted areas of the house because something from his pants might leak and dirty the carpet. Since he was no longer allowed to play when he had dirty pants (no diapers) and I would not clean him untill he asked me to. He made the connection and it took two days for him to be fully trained. He realized that life may not go on as if nothing was in his pants. It "stood still" untill he was clean again.
A.

Is she not caring about being wet/dirty in Pampers/Pullups or in cloth training pants/underwear? At 3 1/2, I would stop making this a choice. I don't believe that 3 1/2 year olds are "not ready" - they are simply opting not to do it. If you want it to be an expected behavior, then you need to make it a rule with a consequence. I wouldn't do this for a toddler, but she is 3 1/2. I'd put her in cloth and take her to the toilet every hour or hour and a half. I wouldn't ask if she has to or wants to go, it's not a choice. Unless she has a medical issue, at 3 1/2 there is no reason why she shouldn't be fully toilet trained. I wouldnt' even use a potty, those are for toddlers, I would go straight to the big toilet (my kids used the big toilet at 3 years old). If you want her to do this, then you need to step in, take control, be the authority and not give her any options.
I wouldn't do any bribing - that shows her this is something where she has a choice, and something that she can choose to do or not, that she has the control. It also makes it seem like something she is doing to please you rather than behavior that is just expected.
Good luck

Is she wet and dirty in a diaper or pull-up or in her underwear? If she's still in a diaper then there really isn't any reason for her to use the potty. My son was 3 when he was potty trained and he really disliked being wet in his underwear..Obviously it went down his leg etc and was uncomfortable. We had accidents, but he understood (especially at that age) that he wasn't getting a diaper and he had one option...Potty 8-)

Hello,
As a therapist working with treating children, I've observed that it helps if you can identify anything that might have made her "regress." In children this can happen for a variety of reasons: illness, a new sibling, a new change in their lives that's creating fear or difficulty...talk to her and ask her to make drawings of anything that she doesn't like or " bothers" her. It helps to have two columns, one for the things she likes, and one for the ones she doesn't like (contrast gives perspective). if she can successfully deal with the issue that creates the conflict then most likely she will revert back to a normal level of functioning for her age.

Good luck!
M.

I think the 3 steps forward, two steps back is pretty common. Have you tried a sticker chart for using the potty? Once she gets 5 stickers, she gets a treat....then she can see her own progress.

Did something happen to cause her to become uninterested?
You might try again, but this time give some type of reward for an event. Then maybe for the day and move up to a couple of days, then the week. For some reason she just seems to not care and you might try to find out why.
I would also talk to her about becoming older, starting school soon. You know the talk.
Let her know how proud you are of her and how you want her to become a big girl too.
Find something that she likes that you can afford to get her interested again.
Start out slow, then move up.
I'm sure things will pick back up. Just try to be a little patient. Take care and good luck.

Get rid of diapers and pull ups. Panties only. Non negotiable. Might
have some tantrums and tears initially. Just ignore. No attention at all.
Seems harsh, but usually will work especially at her age. Good lluck.