AT this age, they get like this.
They like routine, they begin to or are already grouping things or categorizing things or purposes etc. It is, developmental based.
This is a phase.
Not permanent.
BOTH my kids (I have a boy and girl), from 2-3 years old, were like this as well as many kids, this age.
Teach her coping-skills, the words to tell you things/frustrations etc. AND how to communicate. Teach her that there are MANY ways to do things etc. So that, in time and as she gets older, she will accrue skills and aptitude, for it.
It comes, in stages. Not all at once, now.
At this age, their emotions are not even fully developed yet, nor their communication skills to say the exact feelings or meanings of what is in their head etc. They are learning.
But going back, at this age... they do things like this.
Developmental based.
It is a phase.
In a sense, they are putting themselves in a "routine" and learning about themselves and comforting themselves and providing a sense of "security" for themselves, and about their world. Which is, good. And learning self-reliance. It is not only a control, issue. It is emotional development and cognitive development of abstract concepts/purposes, timing, etc.
And keep in mind, that kids this age do not have inherent "coping-skills" either. They are rudimentary. Both cognitively and emotionally.
In a fun way, don't "battle" about it... just chat with her about it. I'd do that with my kids when they were that age and doing that.
And it was interesting... what THEY said about it and why. And as a Mom, you learn... about your child that way.
Their little minds... forming. And developing.
It is not a battle.
These things have importance to the child, for whatever reason.
But again, it is developmental based.... especially at this age. It is a process and phase, they go through.