Hi, I have two boys. Both of them were breast fed for a long time (2 years and a few month each) and got used to sleeping while nursing. Once they were weaned, it was very difficult to fall asleep on their own. However the older one who is now 7, eventually got used to it and he always falls asleep within 15 or 20 minutes. The younger one however who is 3.5 years old, won't sleep for at least 1 hour and a half, sometimes two hours. He talks and talks and talks. Recites every song, every story, every video that he has seen. They don't watch TV, only DVDs and only age appropriate stuff. He never watches more than 45 minutes in one day and never at night. He doesn't eat a lot of sweet stuff at night (or in general). They have dinner around 6 pm and go to bed around 8:30 pm, they have a little milk around 7:30 pm. But he wont' sleep sometimes until 10 pm. Very often he wakes up in the middle of the night too, around 1 or 2 am and talks again until 3 or 4:30 am. and we can't leave him alone because they both sleep in the same room and if we don't go there to force him back to sleep, he will wake up my older son. I have tried many different things, soft music, singing, lying next to him and stroking his hair, face, massaging his body, since he doesn't understand how to breathe deeply really means, I ask him to blow as hard as he can several times in a row, which has the same effect as breathing deeply. That relaxes him a bit, but it's not enough. Of course we read a bunch of books before going to bed. I have talked to his pediatrician and he is not at all hyper active. He has normal activity level. Baths always energize him, so we have baths earlier. If he is over excited, I use a few drops of lavendar essential oil and mandarine essential oil on the pillows. He does calm down a little, and they love the smell, but still won't sleep for at least an hour. We are exhausted. We get se little sleep because of him, we wake up several times during the night and on top of it all he wakes up at 6 am, every day, or sometimes at 5 am. He does have a nap during the day, around 1 to 3 pm. we have tried a no nap routine. He does go to bed earlier but still takes a long time to fall asleep and still wakes up in the middle of the night. Any other techniques you know of? Thank you
He's not sleepy. He needs to go to bed much later when he's tired. It will help. They are old enough that going to bed that early isn't effective.
Even if they get up at 7am, most kids don't need 12 hours of sleep at night. I'm surprised the other one isn't waking up for the day by 4am or 5am.
Make sure he has a lot of acitivity during the day.
When my son was at that age, he wouldn't go to bed until late, too.
Try a night light.
Don't put him to bed early.
Make sure you have some wind down time at the end of the night.
Have a routine (bath, read a book whatever it is for you).
You need to find a way to give each of them their own room. Then you need to put them to bed earlier. It sounds counterintuitive, but it's not.
Bath at 6:30, stories, and lights out at 7.
Leave books for him to look at on the foot of his bed.
Remind him that he must stay in bed and be quiet.
If he gets out, do not engage him. Just haul his butt back to bed.
Honestly, he is playing you.
I had a little one that was the same way from birth until now and he is 13. I would definitely take the naps out entirely (if you can stay sane).
We also, as a final resort, started giving him liquid melatonin that I bought at the health food store. You give it to them about an hour before bed.
Good luck to you. It is the hardest thing but you'll get through it.
Put him to bed later! Is he cranky during the day, tired? If not, guess he might just not require as much sleep as you would like! You go in during the night when he wakes up, so he is getting attention. Maybe put him in his own room. I would not go in during night if he wakes up. Somehow, if he has not gotten your older kid up by now, don't think it will happen. He may never be a good sleeper. Might have to just accept that. Put a gate up at night so he does not get out this way you can sleep.
We had the exact same issue with our son! It took us quite a while to figure things out and discovered he had several food sensitivities.
First off, I don't believe for a second these issues have anything to do with being nursed to sleep; don't blame yourself! But I do think the extreme inability to wind down and all the chatter do sound like some form of hyperactivity. My 2.5 year old does the same, and I have been told he might have sensory seeking sensory processing disorder. This is supposedly similar to ADHD in its symptoms. I have no idea how to help with sleep. I do know that if I let him in the bed towards dawn he is able to calm himself back to sleep, and maybe you could find so something that will calm your son. Also try more massage, deep massage, at bedtime.
