35 Weeks with 4Th Child- on "Bedrest"- Very Anxious and Needing Positive Words

Updated on June 11, 2010
M.4. asks from Saint Petersburg, FL
7 answers

Helllo fellow Mommy's!!

I am somewhere between 35 and 37 weeks pregnant (EDD=35 weeks, baby's size=37 weeks). This is my 4th pregnancy and my other three babies were born early (between 37 and 39 weeks) and weighed normal (between 6lbs and 7lbs 8 oz). I have been going through a rough couple months, from dealing with my husband losing his job, to being put on bedrest for preterm labor, and now having to work from home while my other kids (ages 5, 4 and 3) are at home for the summer. "Bedrest" is a joke. Stress levels are very high and my anxiety about having this baby to start the next phase of my life are overpowering any normal sense of reason I have.

I am having a rough rough time. My hubby tries hard to be compassionate, but he doesn't get it. I know that every mom gets to this point in their pregnancy, and although I've had three previous, I don't remember feeling this down.

I'm looking for some words of encouragement... positive stories about what I could do, being on "bedrest" and working full time from home, whiel still not going crazy with the three little ones being bored, and yet somehow dealing with the anxiety of the new baby. I can't NOT work at thie point, because of my husbands situation, but would LOVE to just stop working and start leave now.

Thanks ladies!

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S.A.

answers from New York on

I am so sorry you are going through this stressful time. Financial burdens can really put a damper on the joy of pregnancy. But on the brighter side...
Your husband is home more now to hopefully be helping you a bit with the other lillle ones. I was in a similiar situation and someone to make sure everyone was fed and safe is a huge help. I'm hoping the work you're doing at home is a sitting job, where you can put your feet up. Make sure you do that as much as possible and drink lots of water. I found that my children liked when I was on bed rest and it was actually a good bonding time. We would pile in my bed with their favorite books and read, get excited about the baby by looking through name books I also tought my kids how to play cards. 5 year olds can learn to play Rummy! 3-4 can learn number value and play war and go-fish. try to enjoy the good stuff. Beleive that everything will be o.k.your're almost there! Good luck I'll be praying for you!
S.

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

This is SOOoooo GOING TO BE OK! First of all, you know that most of what's happening in your head right now is all about the hormones, exhaustion, pregnancy crazies, etc. Not that those feelings are unvalid! But knowing that to the outside world it's not quite as dire can help you put it into perspective. Also, keep telling yourself, "This is NORMAL".

I was on bedrest with my 3rd, with a 2 year old who was clingy and wanting to potty train herself, and 6 year old who had just started a new school and needed me to help her adjust. I felt so guilty! You don't say whether you have other help, but I didn't- just a good neighbor who took my daughter to school for me. Other than that, my living room became my bedroom, with the house falling down around my ears and my 2 year old watching more TV than any child should. But what could I do?
I didn't have to work, but I did have to worry about having a healthy baby- which was scary- and every penny that I wasn't making was putting us in a hole... the stress on my husband was enormous, I know.

The thing is, there is a LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. In just a few weeks, maybe sooner, this part will be over! You'll be holding your new baby, knowing all is well, and starting a "new" way of living. You've had 3 kids- the 4th will be a piece of cake! As my Gram (who had 12!) used to say, "Once you've done 3, you can do 20!" My Mom had 9.. and she agrees. :-)
Hang on until then- it's really going to be ok! HUG!

Updated

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J.S.

answers from Tampa on

I was on bedrest w/my 1st & only pregnancy for 7 wks. I felt extreme stress as well. I had placenta previa & fortunately had SOME help from family members & friends. My hubby was working a 6-day work wk. Reach out 2 whoever is able & willing. Try listening to ministries on the media to center yourself. Best of luck.

K.N.

answers from Miami on

My Prayers are with you and life will work itself out! In God we trust-remember! May God guide and bless you all...
Sincerely,
Kathy N. & Family

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C.O.

answers from Sacramento on

You are so close! You will be holding that baby before you know it.
Take one day at a time...

Every meal, think about something positive or funny that has happened since the last meal. Before you go to bed, list those same happy or funny things and add any more you didn't mention an mull them over in your mind. They can be little things or big things...but it helps with keeping a positive perspective.

Celebrate little milestones, a module of work you have finished, a 30 minute break of uninteruption, the end of another day.

Use the TV (and don't feel guilty about it!) and games. Work for a couple hours and then reward you and the children with a game.

Have art contests...the children can draw a place that they would like to go...and then have them tell a story about it...but set the timer...The story time doesn't happen until xyz time, even if they are finished with their art.

Have the children give you a foot massage...*Laugh* I am not promoting slave labour...you can give them foot massages too...but it gives them a way to be close to you and kids that age like to help and be close.

See if hubby can take the kids to the park to give you some peace.

I wish you well. Remember, you are almost there! So Close!

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

Wow, I really feel for you...You need a good neighbor or friend to take the kids off your hands a couple times a week to give you a break...Get some good childrens books and read to them two or three times a day. This is something you can do to relax yourself and the children will enjoy it. You can have them gather around you in bed for the reading sessions. Coloring is also something you can all do. It is very relaxing. If I were your neighbor I would be willing to help you out..I am sure you must have at least one neighbor you can call on. Put a movie in for your children to watch in the afternoon. None of them are to old to take naps. After lunch I would settle them down on pillows in front of the television with a good childrens show and let them watch it while I worked or relaxed. And get your husband to help out around the house more...Good Luck!!!

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

First of all you need to relax and get some anti stress hormones into your body through pregnancy yoga. If you can't take a class then look it up on youtube and find out how to do it. Babies who have stress in utero are at high risk of having developmental, sensory and spectrum issues. Secondly, forget about the bedrest thing. You need to move so baby can get good vestibular input and develop spatial awareness and all other things. All systems are maturing at this time. Swim, walk, swing, get on yoga ball and gently bounce or rock. The baby will come later or sooner, who knows but stressing and bed rest are just plain bad ideas. Remember to opt out of Hepatitis B vaccine at birth. This is a VERY dangerous hit to the immune system. It damages the gut and leads to all kinds of problems. Hep B is not a worry till teenhood so why do it? Research it. Some good sites are Think Twice, and NAturodoc but scan the web for lots of information except for the American Academy of Pediatrics because whoever listens to their advice, eventually gets screwed!

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