My 3 1/2 year old won't go in the water at swimming lessons. she absolutely loves the water normally. When her and I were in parented classes she excelled. Now I have put her in the non parented lessons, she won't even go in the water. I have made her sit and watch but today I had had enough and told her go in the water or go home. she picked home and now is in her room. What do I do? We have 6 more classes, should I even bother going anymore?
If she doesn't want to get in the water, it's going to be pretty hard to teach her how to swim.
If you paid for the classes already, the best you can do is keep going, but don't push her. Let her dangle her feet in the pool, watch the other kids - maybe after a couple of weeks she'll want to get in.
Hello, When my son (who is now 40) was young, I put him and his sister in swim lessons. My nieces and my young brother were also there. All of the kids except my son went in and loved it. My son sat on the side of the pool and cried. I told him that I couldn't make him go in, but that he at least had to sit on the side with his feet in the water. He did that and when the lessons were complete I did not put him back in. He actually learned to swim on his own. If you and your daughter have been in parent/child classes, then she has gotten the basics. Why not just go in the water with her and maybe try again at a later time to put her in classes by herself. My son was actually scared and I feel that when a child is scared it isn't something we should be angry about, but maybe help them through their fear. I must say that as well as my son, my other three kids and my grandkids actually got more out of learning on their own than they did in lessons. I don't know why. I'm not saying that lessons aren't right for most kids.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.
I completely understand the importance of water safety and it's good that you are being proactive in this, however, she sounds like she's not ready yet and please don't force her! I remember I was the exact same way when I was 4. I remember feeling secure only if my mom or dad were with me. I actually wasn't ready until I was 8 (kind of late, but my parents were so disappointed that they didn't want to try again until I asked). Trust me, threatening from the side of the pool doesn't work. My parents threatened and brow beat me and I just wanted them to be there for security. Let your 3 year old gain more independence and security first. In her little mind, she just wants mom or dad around for safety and comfort. If you really want her to continue, you should do the parent and me classes. Good luck.
someone else asked this question....
My 3 yr old daughter started this week too, on day 4 she started enjoying it. I started bringing her early on day 2, we use the potty, we watch the pool, we check things out. and I sit right on the edge of the pool, I get wet. she at 1st sat on my lap, then on the edge w/ her feet on the step. now on the step. and she also wanted to go home, i didn't take her. She loves the water, and I am afraid of drowing.
Keep taking her to class. I had the same problem but eventually she got in the pool. We used a toy to get her in the pool. She will get in, it just may take time. Good Luck.
As a swim instructor I would invite you to get into the water with your daughter and help her out. Once she was comfortable then I'd encouraging her to do it on her own. :)
Don't force anything. I'd keep going but keep encouraging the child to get in. Can you return to a mommy and me class? Can you get in the pool too or sit on the side or an a step next to your daughter? I'm sure the instructor has seen everything and has had a lot of experience with different levels of comfort. Talk to them and see what they suggest. I think constant exposure without pressure (but with encouragement) is the best approach. Good luck.
I'll chime in with the same advice-- we bought 2 weeks of swim lessons for our son, and while he loves the water by himself, he did not like the swimming lessons. We stuck to it & let him go at his own pace-- mostly playing with the teacher-- him outside the pool, her inside, and she would coax him to put his legs in, go up to his tummy, etc. We practiced at home, since he wasn't making much progress at the lesson, but dealing with a stranger every day seemed to make him trust me more & he wound up walking on the bottom of the pool with me (he's 5). Then, at the lesson, I would stay by the side & he would go in with her but walk to me.
In a nutshell: stay close & be involved, try to generalize the pool from the swimming lessons with the teacher to just playing around with you & she'll get there eventually.
My son still isn't swimming but he is way more comfortable.
I just responded to your other post with these thoughts:
Consider the teacher, environment, and teaching style. There are so many possibilities as to why your child won't go in swimming lessons. It could be her age, the sex of the teacher, the temperature of the water, etc. After teaching swimming for over 10 years I have learned that so much of the time the reason a child is uncomfortable entering the water is rarely what we think it is. Try not to second guess her. To help her, ensure the environment is comfortable for her. Is the water warm enough for her body? Is it loud, calm, or or chaotic at the pool? Are there other children crying or protesting? Since swimming can be such an important milestone for children my thoughts for you are: proceed carefully, consider your goals for her, and listen to your gut. And in my opinion, learning to love the water and learning to swim should always go hand in hand.
J. Golde
Owner, Water Otters Swim School
I would see if the teacher will let you in the water, she might just be nervous about being in there "by herself". After a lesson or two she might be comfortable enough to just be with the teacher.
Yes, sounds like your daughter is like mine in that she loves the water, but maybe hates the structure of swim lessons. My daughter cried the entire 1st 5-6 lessons last summer, but I didn't give up and she eventually was fine and this summer didn't even cry the 1st lesson. I don't want to let me 3 year old start making decisions yet especially when learning to swim is beneficial and important for them to learn. I think if you hold your ground and find a strong-willed instructor you will be able to get her in the water. She may cry for awhile, but she will realize that she is wasting her time crying.
