3 Yr. Old Holds His #2 - Roseville,MI

Any chance you switched from using the "little potty" to the "big potty"? I know I've seen little ones afraid to go poop on the big potty because they actually feel it falling out of them more or may be afraid of the "big potty eating their poop". To some children at this age in development, it is a part of their body and scary to have it "fall out" and then get flushed down a mysterious hole. May sound kind of strange but their little minds work totally different than grown-ups about a lot of things.

Hi K. -

Chances are your little one was a bit constipated and it probably hurt to go which now makes him scared to go. Keep going with getting his stools to soften as much as possible. If it takes an enima then that's what it takes. I would do it a couple days in a row to keep him soft as well as push the clear liquids as much as possible. I know this sounds gross but cover his poop hole and a short way inside with a bit of vaseline. That will help it slide out easier. Keep talking to him and telling him it's something that everyone has to do everyday. The food you put in your body has to come out somewhere. You don't want to make an emergency room visit because he becomes impacted, either. If he continues to hold it his bowels can streach which can cause encopresis, a disorder where they can't feel it anymore therefore don't realize they have to go. Don't let it get this far. If it persists for too long talk to his doctor and/or teachers at school. They may have some other suggestions for you.

I hope this helps - S.

Constipated from Holding it? Never heard of it. Just the opposite will happen, in my opinion. Sometimes it will just start on its own because there's a surplus and it needs an outlet. I would doubt a 3 year old has the knowledge of such willpower as to shut down a natural process.
I get the feeling there's somethng else going on. Maybe it hurt a lot, and he doesn't want to feel pain. I would have the situation looked at by a professional. It might be nothing more than lack of good fiber. If the poop comes out with a larger circumferance, it implies it's stretching the intestines. Too large for the 'exit' can cause tearing. Get some good fiber in there and it will exit more normal in size, reduce the stretching inside, and cause less or no more pain in coming out.
Maybe some of the battles are due to the enemas. I hated them as a kid, maybe he's connecting things with it and doesn't want to experience that. But the body will react to not excreting by means of that it ferments, breaks down, and comes out as more the runs than anything solid.
And remember he's only three. And developing.

Unfortunately he can control this function. Seting up a reward (long term) of something he really wants and have him earn stickers each time he goes #2 in the toilet. You can either use a picture of said item or actually buy it and tempt him with it My son at 3 wanted a fire truck so bad. that is what we did and it worked. It took him several weeks to go without an accident. Once he waws succlessfully, we gave him the fire truck. He did not regress. ALSO Showing that others in the household or at his preschool, etc. use the toilet for that function may be helpful. You must have patience.

My daughter who is also 3 did the same exact thing this summer and is back at it. We give her miralax every day in her juice (per her doctors recommedation). I just went and bought another bottle yesterday. It is the most frustrating thing to deal with and you have no control over their little minds. We have tried rewards which do not work and we have also tried to take things away which didn't work either. Now we just ignore her when she is holding it and don't talk about it at all. She will eventually need to go and the miralax will make her stool very soft. Hang in there, it is just a phase but a stressful one.

The same thing happened with my daughter. We went to the doctor and he said that as American we eat bad. We don't realize it but eating out and pizza is not good for us or the children. So we went to the store and got Wheat bread,wheat noodles,fruit,veggies,and veg dip so the kids will eat them.Stay away from a lot of cheese. Really just take him to the doctors and they will give you medicine.Good luck!!!

Some kids just get retentive....don't know why. I would add some Miralax to his morning drink (not the whole adult dose, but maybe half) just to make his bms a little too soft to hold in. Within a few days he'll give up this phase and the new habit of going will take it's place. Good luck!

Also, adding fiber can OFTEN add to constipation and gas...addt'l fiber requires LOTS of addt'l water. We all need more fiber, but we need to get the habit in place, too.

~L.

When my niece was little, she once had a bowel movement that hurt. So......after that she refused to poop and would also get constipated. Just give him whatever you can to make it soft. Prunes and apple juice are great! He's probably just scared but it will soon pass. :)

It could be a phase, but it could also be something physical. Before just assuming it is a phase, I would make sure there is nothing physical going on.

When my sister was young she didn't like to poop either...but my mom eventually took her to the Dr. and they found she has these tiny tears around her anus... so it actually HURT to go poop. And then of course she would hold it, become constipated and then it would be worse.

The tears eventually healed, but we had to make sure her poo was very very soft so going would aggravate them anymore.

I do think there is something to be said for not making a big deal about it though. Toddlers are learning they CAN control certain things. If they don't do something it will get a response. I would talk to your doctor and make sure there is nothing physical going on. Then, depending on what he/she says just don't make it a big deal and ensure he is getting things that will make his stool soft. Make sure he drinks plenty of water as well and stay away from binding foods.... bananas, cheese, etc...

I have a 2.5 years old that gets constupated once in a while. His Doctor prescribed him Miralax. It really helps. I would ask your doctor if it is ok to give it to your child. And if so, give him a full dose (allowable based on his weight and height). Trust me, there is no way he will be able to hold that in. It takes about 24-48 hours to work. It might take a few more days on Miralax before your son will not be able to hold it in. Accidents might happen.
I have never had to use the full dose on my son, just enough to help him. Make sure to talk to you doctor.

I feel your pain and frustration. My son started doing this when was 1yr old before we even started potty training he realized that it hurt sometimes and so he would hold it in order not have that pain not undertanding it only made the pain worse. My son is now almost 5 and is over this for the most part but every once in awhile he will get a little backed up and then we go thru the ordeal of the pain and having to treat the constipation. My suggestion is to try giving him a small does of Miralax in his juice or milk each day. It is a safe non habit forming stool softner not a laxitive and you can buy it over the counter. You may want to talk to the Dr. or Pham. about the right amount for his size and weight. This will make it harder for him to hold it and it easier to go the only down side is that it may cause him to have more accidents if it gets too soft. Also try to explain each time that he doesn't want to go that you understand that it can hurt sometimes but that if he pushes past the pain for just a couple of minutes he will feel better and that if he doesn't that it will just hurt even more the next time. This is something it takes time for many kids to understand but once they do it usually helps things get better. Good luck and if you want any other advice on this feel free to ask me.