3 Yr Old Having a Hard Time Going to Sleep? Any Suggestions

We're having the same kind of issues with my almost-3 yo son. I was just reading "Healthy Sleep" last night, and I am going to try a few things to change it. He suggests making a poster/sign with the sleep rules on it- stay quiet, stay in bed, keep still, go to sleep (or something to that effect). He recommends telling the child that you will respond ONCE to them and you can even give them a bell or something to let them call you once. After that, you don't respond. Then reward like crazy (or take something away) if the rules are followed. For example, I've already talked to my son about the rules and told him if he follows them, he'll get a couple of chocolate chips in the morning at wake-up and a sticker for a chart. If he follows them at naptime again, he'll get another sticker. Two stickers = an episode of his cartoon (which is very special as he doesn't watch much tv at all). After he gets this part down, I'm going to change it a bit into including the wake-up rules (he can only come out of his room after 6am). Like any incentive chart, I will start simply so he can have success with it. We'll see if it works!!

It is normal. Unfortunately, she has learned that she can manipulate you into helping her put off her bedtime/sleeping (sleep is boring, right, LOL!).

She's old enough to understand this, so, I would say to go in with her to bed, tuck her in, get her a Kleenex and give her a drink, and then let her know that that's it, no more visits from Mommy or Daddy until morning. Then, stick to it. If need be, leave the house (if Daddy is there) if you can't take the incessant calling; or as parents, take turns leaving the house if need be.

Don't give in at all--if you give in once, it will take that much longer for her to give up the next time.

It's normal, and it keeps happening because you keep giving in - she knows it works, so she keeps doing it. Make sure when you tuck her in, ask her if she has everything she needs. Let her know you will come back 1 more time (and only 1!) if she thinks of something else. When you do come back that 1 more time, remind her that this is it, you are not coming back anymore. Then stick to it.

Maybe subconsciously, but she is playing you. Get the book by Dr. Ferber "how to solve you child's sleep problems" available on Amazon.com. I used his methods to get my kids to sleep through the night at 7 months, and again when they went from a crib to a bed. It has easy to follow routines. It also discusses true sleep problems like night terrors and sleep walking. Good luck, there is no torture like lack of sleep.

My 3 yr old does the same thing. I found this very helpful and it worked! I watched the show Nanny 911. I tuck my son in and sit on his floor facing the door, if he gets up I dont say a word I just put him right back in bed. Then continue to sit on the floor until he falls asleep. Its a security thing they want to feel secure. No matter if he crys or gets up 10 times as long as you stand your ground and just sit there till he falls asleep. It's hard at first but it pays off. I hope my advice helps. Good luck!

My son started this at about 2.5. The solution for us was to ignore the calling. We only go in if he is really crying (not the sad sob because we aren't doing what he wants). Once the door is closed, we are done. My husband made the mistake of going in once when he was yelling (to tell him not to wake his sister), and we had to start ALL over again. He will usually call, sometimes cry for about 15 minutes. Sometimes continue to talk to say our names for longer, but he knows that the clock is blue, and that means sleep.

I also had to tell him that he knows how to cover himself, and that if he can't do it, than he needs to lay still so that it doesn't come off.

My DD used to do this. I would say she's using me. LOL! We explained to her that she's a big girl and once Mommy or Daddy leaves the room, that is it. You need to stay in bed and stay quiet. I will let her look at a book (after we read one together) to fall asleep and that helps. Also, bribery to get it started. Tell her she can have a treat in the morning if she stays quiet at night. LOL! Seems silly but it worked great with my daughter. Good luck!

Maybe if she naps during the day, try one day to not let her nap. I bet she'd be tired at bedtime =) But I really don't know! Good luck!

My son started this when his brother was born. He was legitimately scared of the dark (at the beginning), but we resolved that but he knew saying "I'm scared" would get us back in there every time. We finally decided to bribe him :). He gets a hotwheel for going to bed and sleeping through the night without calling for us. Now he's got a chart: 5 nights=a car. So far it's working for us. That's what I love about them being older...now if I could only bribe my 6 week old to sleep!

Hi Bttrfly :-)

I love to offer an energy balancing technique which is SO calming and relaxing and often helps people fall asleep or go back to sleep when used before going to bed. You can learn about this technique on my website which you can find by clicking on my name and finding my business tab there.

It is called CORTICES technique and is under the tab Dr. John Veltheim teaches CORTICES.

Have fun!
hugs,
A. R.N., Energy Medicine Practitioner

I could've written this!! I am soo happy that we aren't alone!! I read your replies and plan doing the cry it out method when DH gets home lol!! I am soo over this too!

My daughter also gets up in the middle of the night too and tries this stuff. In the middle on the night does not last as long as trying to get her to sleep. I just want her to be done with it so we all can get a good nights sleep! Also she can't keep doing this when school starts right?

If she is till napping during the day, dont' let her. Or just a short one (15 minutes?). Otherwise, like some others have said- do not go in when she calls. Tell her that tonight you will go in ONCE if she really needs it, but not after that and not any other night. Tell her if she doesn't call for you at all and just goes to sleep on her own, because she can- she is a big girl, she can get a treat or sticker on a chart or whatever. Just follow through with it. She needs to learn to stay asleep at night.

If it happens after she's been asleep for a while, help her find the potty then send her straight back to bed on her own.

Good luck!

I have had this problem with daughter for about 6 months. She used to be a great sleeper. Never even got out of her bed went right to sleep and stayed there all night. She started coming in our bed which I didn't mind too much. But then she was taking 2 + hours to get to sleep. It was sometimes 10 when she was finally asleep. I did some research and realized she couldn't settle down, which doesn't surprise me one bit. She's very smart and very active. I have started laying with her at night. It's getting old but it's working. I read her a book and we talk quietly for a few minutes, then I tell her you need to be still and close your eyes and your mouth. She tossed and turned, kept saying random things, tried to tell me she was hungry, thirsty, had boogers, you name it. I just told her we were done and we'd talk about it in the morning. Obviously she had eaten, had water, and gone potty;) It took about 45 minutes the first night, but she was asleep by 8:15! She's been asleep close to 8 the last 2 weeks. Laying with her has gotten shorter and it definitely beats the fight until 10! Good luck!