3 Yr Old Coming into Our Bed at Night

My son was doing this about the same age. The time I was spending sitting by his bed at night so he could go to sleep was also lengthening greatly. First I got him to fall asleep without me in the room. This took a few weeks as I didn't want to cause too much stress to him. I would, each night, sit or lay further away from his bed and closer to the door. After about a week I was on the outside of the door with the door half shut. After two weeks we had it down to I could just walk out of the room and shut the door almost all the way. This part didn't take any longer each night than me sitting right by his bed. So no extra time length in the routine.
The next part took a little work on my part. I let him get use to falling asleep on his own for a week and continued to let him come in my room. Then I decided to stop that also. Every time he came in, I walked him back to his room and put him back to bed. I made sure that he was comfortable, didn't have to pee or need a drink. Since he was already to the point that he didn't need me in the room to fall asleep, I could walk back out of the room before he was asleep. Sometimes I would cuddle with him for a little bit in his bed--but that's his bed and only he can sleep there so he would kick me out. :) It only took about 3 nights and the multiple trips back and forth stopped.
Best of Luck!

Oh yes, I feel your pain. I went through it with my now 5yo and currently with my 2yo. What I did when my 5yo was about three is let her make a 'school bed' in our room. It took a few weeks of kicking her out of our bed for her to get the hang of it and it wasn't an every night ordeal. Kids at that age do get scared and do need to be comforted. On the other hand, if mom isn't getting any sleep she isn't her best for the little ones during the day; so it is a tightrope balancing act :) Personally, if it was me, I would tell her when tucking her in that if she wakes up scared she can sleep on your floor next to your bed. Be sure to have a sleeping bag that she can easily get to to bring with her. With my daughter at first I had to get up during the night and take her to get her sleeping bag and settle her on my floor and then go back to sleep. That worked great for us because we all got our sleep and she felt safe in our room. This too is a phase that will pass eventually and I think all little ones go through it at some point. Best of Luck!

L.,

when I read your questions, I thought I was reading about myself. I am going through the exact same thing with my 3yo daughter. She started coming into our room saying that she is scared, I would usually take her back into her room, try to figure out what it was that scarred and assure her that everything is ok. One night she said that she saw a man standing by her toy box, I left her light on at nights ever since. I also noticed that she will be scarred of something that happened during the day. She was watching a new cartoon where a shark was chasing little fish, which she didn't like, she asked me to change it. So that night she woke up screaming, saying that she is scarred of sharks. I might not be a really big help, but I hope I could help a little. Feel free to contact me anytime if you want to talk :)

Trisha

I would work on stopping falling asleep in there on the floor when she goes to bed. She knows she's going to sleep with you or daddy next to her, then she wakes up and everything is quiet, and she's all alone. She's probably simply scared of that, not anything in particular in her room.

If I were you, I wouuld talk to her and tell her that you made a mistake by sleeping in her room. I always handle things this way, by accepting the blame myself so that my kids don't feel like they're getting in trouble. For instance, "I made a mistake by letting you watch Hannah Montana, and I'm sorry."...or whatever...Then, I would take her in her room that night and say "mommy's going to read a book with you, tuck you in nice and tight, and then I will let you be a big girl and fall asleep on your own." The first few nights, you're just going to have to make a decision on how you're going to handle it. I would personally go in and check on her if she cries for the first few nights, simply for the fact that she isn't used to falling asleep on her own. Then, after a few nights I would explain to her what bedtime rules are, including not crying for mommy when it's sleep time, and you'll have to let her cry it out or decide on another method.