3 Yo Is Whiney & Uncooperative in Morning

Updated on April 20, 2008
D.H. asks from Portland, OR
5 answers

Yes, I know it is normal for this age to be whiney and throw tantrums. My 3 yo is generally pleasant and well-behaved. But the mornings are a pain. He needs to wake up, get dressed (which he usually prefers to do himself) have breakfast and leave with us by a certain time. No matter how much extra time we allow, he always drags his feet and whines and stalls and eventually throws a tantrum. Often, to keep on schedule, I end up having to forcibly dress him and pack his breakfast for the car.

How can we make mornings more smooth?

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J.B.

answers from Medford on

Tell him how much time he has to get dressed and if he is not dressed he will go in his jammies. If he won't get dressed, take him in his jammies, as is. Eventually he will either grow out of it or get tired of going in his jammies. That is what my son't day care said to do, so they didn't have a problem with him arriving in jammies. Send his extra emergency clothes, and if he wants to change there, he can. Just don't make a big deal about it.
Blessings,
J.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from Seattle on

Yes this is the way of the 3 year old.
Control control control.
Try finding some things he has control over. Like what clothes he is going to wear, but decide the night before, and have them setting out, and then make it a game, set a timer and see if he can get dressed before it rings, if he does put a sticker on a reward chart, have him chose from one or two things that could be his reward,when he earns 3 sticker(could be something as simple as his favorite story, before getting in the car). Change the goal as he gets better at meeting it.
You can try this with anything that is slowing you down in the morning. Then when you get out the door on time or early have another set of stickers in the car for him to put on his shirt, so he can tell everyone all day long how he got out of the house on time. And make sure to praise him in public about how proud you are and how it sure makes mornings go better, when he gets his morning jobs done.
But he also needs to know that if he doesn't get going he will be in the car dressed or not, fed or not. A few time of that will get him moving. Then if he is with you the rest of the day don't let him have any food until snack time, or if he is with a daycare/preschool, explain the situation, and ask them not to give him food until snack.
Most of them will respect the lesson that you are trying to teach your son. When he says he is hungry, tell him you are sorry that he is hungry but remind him lovingly that he had plenty of time to eat breakfast,but he chose not to,maybe he will make a better choice tomorrow.
Good luck, stay strong, find a way that works for you and stick with it. I've found making things into games and helping kids learn that they are making choices that have no fun consiquences works for us to counter act the control isue of 2 1/2-5 year olds.

1 mom found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

D.,

This could be my four year old. One thing we've done is tell him to do something, like get dressed, and give him a time limit. If he's not ready to go by the time limit we don't go. The other option I've heard that works is when it's time to go pack him in the car exactly the way he is, dressed or not (brining the necessary clothing items).

Hope this helps,
Melissa

1 mom found this helpful
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T.K.

answers from Portland on

The very BEST parenting book I have ever read is "Parenting with Love and Logic". There are strategies to deal with situations like yours. Get it and use it! It works!

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J.T.

answers from Louisville on

D., soooo know where you are coming from! My son, who just turned four, was the same way. I leave the house with him by 6 am every morning, while my hubby and older daughters sleep in. My problem was that to help him bond with his dad, dad is military and always gone, I let them stay up till 9 or 10pm together....he would wake up cranky, whiney, and completely break down once we got to daycare making me regret working full-time as a nurse!

What I did was move his bedtime up to 8:30. No questions asked, lights out, tv off (school nights only.) And I made this change for everyone! Even my girls, although at times I'll let them read until 9pm with their doors closed so he thinks they are in bed too. It took a while to get past the crying tantrums but I've learned after 3 kids to let them cry with me in the hall just in case they get sick. As long as they are safe in their rooms they can cry until they fall asleep.

It's not easy, esp for mom who is the soother, but you have to be strong. Now when I wake my son up, I dress him and he asks to sleep a little while. I let him while I load my truck and get it warmed up. Then I tell him it's time to go and he walks down stairs, puts his shoes and coat on and walks to the truck. No more tears at school even! It's wonderful! Even though i'm working on becoming a stay-at-home mom I can go to work without the guilt! Best of luck and hope this helps.

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