3 Year Very Emotional - Scarred of Every Little Thing

At 3 years old.... they are developmentally changing a LOT including their emotional development... which is NOT fully developed yet.

At this age as well, they develop "fears." It is developmental based and even the more confident and independent child gets that way.
Main thing is don't force it. It will make it more stressful. Nor "compare" her to others... this will not work.

Just assure her, let her know you "understand" even if it seems petty to you.

Next, when I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I spent TONS of time on my oldest child, prepping her for her baby brother. I spent "my" pregnancy prepping HER... and talked to her about it, let her bond with my tummy (her brother), explained in simple terms that I will get tired and hard to move around etc., but that SHE was my first baby and I loved her and will always love her. THIS helped her adjust and transition for my pregnancy and her upcoming baby brother to come home.

"Confidence" or not, is not something that will always always just be there... it ebbs and flows. Talk with her too, about how she feels. Let her say anything she wants... and just console her. My daughter NEEDED to talk story about things... anything. And it helped her feel centered.

But tis' the age.... my son is 3.5, but from about 3 years old he developed "fears' and its no biggie. It is just a developmental thing they go through. He is very self-reliant and confident, but he gets scared sometimes. Its okay. When our Aunty says he's a "scaredy cat", I do NOT allow that. It is just a normal developmental thing that occurs... and you just help guide them. They will outgrow it.
And, it sometimes means, that you keep on with their routines or amend them. Sometimes they may need other things to do... or outgrow certain things, or not like certain things anymore.

Or, did something happen at gymnastics that frightened her??? Ask her. Then validate her. Or maybe all of these "expectations" upon her... is too much right now?

A 3 year old is hard.... and they don't have mastery over their emotions. Help her to communicate her feelings... and let her know its OKAY.

All the best,
Susan

Just don't act like it's a big deal, if she freaks out at gymnastics, hold her and let her relax, and if she wants to leave, just let her. She has really taken on some big roles - going to gymnastics, growing up, etc. Maybe she just wants to be a baby for a while. Indulge her while you still can - before the last baby comes. It sounds like you're doing great, just basically keep going.

Not sure if this will be helpful, but here goes... I had a coworker whose daughter (age 3) started to get terrified of everything... If she saw a fire detector on the ceiling, it was scary... Electrical outlets, scary... Clocks, door knobs, the sink knobs--all frightening. She called the health expert helpline that was offered through our healthcare... They recommended getting stickers (lots of them, ones that she had picked out) and letting her stick her sticker on anything that she found scary. It sounded so simple--but it worked! In 3 weeks time, she had grown out that phase.

As for gymnastics class, maybe you should take a 4-6 week break from it. At age 3, she might not be able to verbalize what exactly is upsetting her. Maybe there was a moment where she took a little spill and it scared her? Maybe she doesn't get a safe and secure feeling? Maybe the gym equipment is imposing and scary? If your looking for a different activity, try a month of art classes at somewhere like gymboree/etc. Or just let it be for a few weeks and try gymnastics again a little while later.

this question was exactly what I was looking for. Just this last week my daughter turned three and out of nowhere she is scared of every little thing. Noises, bugs, snakes, even the dark. She will scream and says these things are going to get her. this is very alarming to me her behavior. I am just trying to talk her through these things and explain to her why they are not scary. Thanks for posting question!

I could have written most of this myself. My daughter has (just this past week) become terrified of loud noises that she can't recognize (a chainsaw a block away that she can't see is awful but a loud motorcycle that she can't see is ok..because she can identify it). Music class last week was awful, she was like a totally different child! I am not pregnant and there have been NO changes in her life at all so I am at a total loss. I've read that it's developmentaly normal and I accept that but I just don't know how to guide her through it. Thank you for posting this question. I'm looking forward to reading through your responses. Good luck to you.

Hello Jessica-

When reading this, my first question was what change recently happened, so yes, the new baby, (Woo Hoo!!), is the reason for the regression.

I suggest you acknowledge her fear, hold her hand, and allow her to set the pace. If you push, she will regress more. When she tries something new, praise, praise, praise. Talk to her about what a big girl she is. How brave she is by trying something that is scary. And how proud SHE should be of HERSELF.

She is probably scared of her new place in the growing family. She is still at the selfabsorbed stage of development, so a new baby is scary for her. Talk to her about what a new baby means, how it's the FAMILY baby, not a replacement. You may want to read books about growing family.

I hope this helps. My biggest suggestion to boost her confidence is to address her fear of the changing family.

R. Magby