My daughter just turned 3 and wakes up most mornings at 4am calling for me (sometimes other times during the night but the 4am wake up call is consistent). She always has an excuse --- cover me, my doll fell, etc. I stay a few minutes and rub her back but then she whine that I can't leave. If I do leave she starts crying or just whines "mommy" over and over again. She can go for 15-20 minutes until I can't take it anymore and go in there. I have tried everything --- rewards for sleeping through the night ( she does this a few nights a week) and taking things away if she doesn't sleep through the night. But she just won't sleep through the night consistently. Any suggestions?
A little more background....she still naps. We tried cutting that out but then she is a mess by 5:30pm. We have a very consistent bed time routine and she goes to bed between 8:00/ 8:30. I just had a baby 2 wks ago (he sleeps like a champ so far)and I know this is an adjustment period for her but the waking up started months ago. It's just very frustrating right now and I know it is making me cranky and impatient during the day so I'm trying to find a way to help her sleep and maintain my sanity. My hubby is very helpful and willing to do anything but to compound the issue my daughter only wants me to do things for her. If hubby tries, she'll cry and carry on that she wants mommy.
Sounds like normal behavior. Both of my kids have had periods like this. I think it happens around big development periods.
It's best to ignore it. Explain to her before bed that she can't wake mommy in the middle of the night, that you need your sleep to be a good, sweet mommy. Stop rubbing her back and soothing her. Go to her, but only use your words.
But mostly, it's a phase that will past. Hang in there!
About the nap...well if she still falls asleep easily during the day then yeah, I agree she totally needs a nap...but maybe she's falling asleep because she's waking up at 4am?? But actually I really do think that this 4am thing is more about a routine of getting you for some snuggly quiet time than about sleep, however.
My opinion is that you need to be a little tough and just start letting her CIO. I know that at 3 it's way more than just crying, but honestly, I think she needs a little tough love, especially if you have a baby that will be waking up multiple times as well. I would just pick a day and tell her that you will no longer be coming in there in the mornings. Tell her that if her doll falls she can pick it up, teach her how to pull the covers up, etc. Maybe even do some practices before or after nap time.
I know that it is really hard to listen to her whine, call for you, cry, etc. but you are going to have to smother yourself with a pillow and let it happen. It is really unlikely she is going to wake up her baby brother. At 2 weeks, those babies sleep through everything! Also, eventually (and it won't take that long) she will get used to the sounds of you getting up with him in the middle of the night and that won't wake her up (not sure if that's happening or not), it just takes time.
I think that once she realizes you aren't coming in any more, she will sleep longer and be happier when she gets up.
Hi B., a little more info please. . . Does she still nap? If so, it might be time to get rid of the nap. My first napped until he was almost 4 1/2 but my second stopped napping at 2! When you go in after the 15-20 mins does she go back to sleep or is she up for the day? I seem to remember my oldest going through something like this. It was just a phase but it was frustrating (and I was tired) while it lasted.
My son was full of energy and went to sleep too soon. About 7:00 to 7:30 each night because he had school. So i knew I had to expend his energy for him to sleep because I would find him sitting in front of the television ,..the T V on and it's snowy sound ,.and he would stay there until cartoon came on. So once supper settled, I played a game that called for running or exersize or had a people place or things race,.." out in the yard " or " In the house " Okay,..you start here, have to go the the refrigerator, then under the table, then downt hhall, back again , touch the chair, go to the living room, touch the stool and come back to start. They loved it,..I had three children . Whoever couldn't remember had to sit out. Eliminating one at a time. Repeating the event with the two left. Pretend to give them second chances to do it again and remember. This exersizes their brain memory, uses their energy and they think Mom is givng them quality fun time for the family. They sleep like babies. :)
I find that some nights, my 3 1/2 year old just wants me nearby. I keep a pillow and blanket on hand in their room and if she's having a rough night, I lay down on the floor. Nearby, but not "with" her. Then, since I'm sleeping on the floor, I inevitably wake up in an hour or so and go back to my bed to finish out the night. I don't know if it's anything that would work for you, but it's helped keep her out of my bed (she's a squirmer and kicks all night, so I can't sleep with her in my bed) and yet gives her that reassurance that she seems to need. HTH!
