3 Year Old Takes Forever to Get to Sleep

Updated on March 24, 2011
D.P. asks from Minneapolis, MN
10 answers

My three year old seems to take forever to go to sleep. We follow the same routine...bath, get dressed, brush teeth, read a book or two. He seems to do everything to avoid going to sleep though. When we read he doesn't always pay attention but when it's time for us to leave his room he asks us to sit for 2 minutes. Then I leave and he wants my husband to sit for 2 minutes. This can go on forever if we let it but always have to cut it off. Then we hear him in there just jabbering for about another half hour or so. He does nap for 1.5-2 hours a day and not sure if he's ready to give those up or not. My fear is he will get very crabby late in the day. We start bath at 8ish then in bed around 8:30. He falls asleep around 9:15-9:30 and wakes at 5:30-6am.

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone! I may try to put him down a little earlier and see if that works. The daylight has nothing to do with it. He goes to daycare so gets plenty of energy out during the day and naptime is the same everyday. They have offered to try to cut back the nap but that may be my last resort.

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M.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I'd try starting earlier. My almost 3 yo daughter is the same way. Stalls and thinks of every excuse to get out of bed. If we start before 7 and shoot for in bed at 7:45ish she falls asleep faster and sleeps in longer. When she goes down later it takes longer and she is up earlier. And she hardly ever takes naps unless she falls asleep in the car. You might be missing his window.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

My 3 year old DD was getting this way...she was the stall master, would goof around at story time rather than sit still and listen, want one more hug and kiss from daddy, or a drink of water, etc. I moved her bedtime up but also made it clear that this is what the routine was going to be, no exceptions. Made sure she had her sippy cup and let her know this is the last hug and kiss for the night. She's in preschool twice a week so I borrowed a line from her teacher and remind her at story time that I need her to be a good listener. And just in general saying NO to a lot more things ("No, I am not going to sit in the chair after you are in bed - it's time to go to sleep." "No, you get 2 stories, and that's it."). Sometimes she is still talking in her bed for a while after but this really doesn't bother me. At least she stays in bed. And she still takes a 3 hour nap every day.

I actually posted on here about this issue I was having with her, if you would find it helpful:

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/15053521088988446721

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

My son started having trouble going to bed at night and I shortened his nap. He now naps for about one hour and he goes to bed much easier at night. You might try that. Also, if he is quiet and in his bed then it is okay if it takes him longer to fall asleep. Just don't give in to keep going in there. Good Luck.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Is this since daylights savings time?.. Is his room still light?
Maybe you need to cover his windows so it is really dark out there.

Make sure he gets lots of really active time in the morning and in the afternoon. This means running jumping, climbing peddling.. Outside is best so he can also make a lot of noise.. 1 to 1 and half hours in th am and again in the afternoon. I like to remind parents, running errands does not count..

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B.P.

answers from New York on

So he only gets about 8-9 hours a sleep at night? Even with the nap that is about is less than 11 hours a day. Is there a reason he has to get up so early? If he is getting up so early he really needs that nap. But can you put him down for the nap earlier? Also, if he's not crying or getting upset, what is the harm if he talks to himself for a while before bed?

1 mom found this helpful
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N.M.

answers from Cleveland on

I can tell you that my kids were done with naps by 18 months. If I gave them a nap, they just weren't tired at bedtime. So...no more naps.

Sounds like he's telling you the same. Maybe you should allow him to take a short nap, say 20 minutes.

Without his long nap, he may be crabby by dinnertime, but he also may go to bed earlier. 9:30 sounds like a very late bedtime for a 3 year old. My 9 and 11 year olds go to bed at 8:30.

Perhaps you should cancel the nap, but shoot for an earlier bedtime.

http://keystosimpleliving.com/kids_bedtime.php

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

I would try to put him down earlier - starting the routine anyway... Then if you can get him to do that, shorten the nap. Every child is different and so it's a trial and error thing. By the way, I don't believe there is a magic number of hours kids need... it depends on the child. If they are alert and happy when awake, they are getting enough sleep. Good luck.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

My daughter has always been like this. Naps at daycare but not for us. Now she is four and won't nap at preschool but will rest quietly. We have found that we have a small window between 8 & 8:30 to get her laying down and if we miss it, she's up until about 10 PM or later! She gets overtired. Can you make nap later in the afternoon?

R.M.

answers from Seattle on

I think it's time to drop the nap. He'll need around 12 hour sleep per 24 hours, obviously you want that to be at night.

I think you find that fairly soon after dropping the nap he'll be falling asleep earlier.

R. M. - Parenting Consultant & Children's Sleep Specilaist

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L.C.

answers from Allentown on

Agree that it is so important to catch the window when he is tired but not overtired. I'd shorten or cut out the nap. That's what really helped for us. But then make bedtime much earlier -- start at 6.30 and see if he's asleep by 7.15. I agree with the moms who said a later bedtime often means the child is overtired and wakes earlier.

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