Hello Mothers,
So I buy this potty in Feb 09 and its now 12-09 and i'm embarrassed to say somehow, potty training in our house has gotten worse. Since June my son, who turned 3 in Oct. has been going to the potty. But only at home. Then he improved 3 months ago, and he tells me he has to potty while running errands. I started with him sitting down on the toilet. We also have the toilet cover/ring and a stepping stool for the big toilet. He started to use that one and even preferred it at one time but i cant get him on it now. The problem I'm having is that he is not telling the aides in the day care when he has to potty. I have even volunteered to stay at his day care to help him/them with this situation. But they dont want me there. He would say Poop.... their terminalogy. This is when i realized, he would get, Poop, Pee Pee and Boo Boo confused. We solved that issue. Then I thought... he needs to practice taking off his pants and pull ups...maybe this is frustrating him. We are still getting this down. I reward him afterwards...usually with a lil piece of white chocolate. Which seems to be the only reward that I have offered to get him excited about his next potty episode.
The school I believe are not consistent. They promote that they help with pottying, but i have talked to them of my concern and they seem to get on the defensive first. Then they suggested i bring him underwear, only for it to be folded in the bag the same way I left it from when i dropped him off. Being short staffed, I dont think they catch his facial expressions or body language when he does need to go to the potty. They even say he Boo Boo's on himself, where at home, he will actually wake up out of his sleep to do that...and if we were out, he would hold it. They put them on the potty n intervels of two kids at a time. They will not put him in the next class of 3 to 4 year olds because he is not potty train. So he id bored and not with his friends. I wish that they would have communicated their game plan so that i could do the same at home. My son, when at home, and without a pull up on, will go to the potty, without telling me.... and dispose of his own urine in the big toilet and then put his lil potty back together again. Anyone who can do that can pee and boo boo in the toilet all the time, which is what I am thinking. He even tells me he wants me to put his diaper on! If he can tell me that... he can do it himself almost! I sit and talk to him about it. We watch potty videos. He knows the difference between wet and dry. I have bought him his favorite Thomas the Train underwear. We have done stickers, jump up and down with excitment, clapping and singing and praising. I have dedicated weekends just to sit around the house and watch piss. What am I doing wrong? Can someone please give me some tips. Yes I have heard when he is ready he will go and I can accept that ok. But if this was the 60's, he would have been done by 2! I understand boys are slower. I dont wish to buy diapers AND pull ups anymore. Now, he may pee on the bed, when the potty is 2 feet away from him. I ask him... what is that? What did you do? He tells me.. Pee pee. But the next time, he will go in his toilet and then go back to play. Is he just being stubborn? Is he really not ready? When I put his underwear on him.... he doesnt mind being a lil wet. I really dont know what I should do at this point.
I agree with the others that when kids are ready to be potty trained it becomes easier, but I'm concerned about the daycare. You mentioned that they didn't want you there to help potty train him...You should be able to be there at anytime. I think I would search for another daycare.
It took hardly any time at all for my daughter to get potty trained but, for my son, it was a whole other story. My advise to you is to make sure that your son is really ready to be potty trained. Sometimes, I think, parents really put a lot of pressure on themselves and their children about the whole potty training issue because they have the impression that children should be completely potty trained by a certain age. I have found that potty training is a whole lot easier and a lot less time consuming when the child is emotionally and physically ready for this next step.
If you do feel that he is ready for potty training I would suggest getting rid of his pull ups during the day and only using them when he sleeps at night (the other poster is right that staying dry through the night takes a lot more time to occur). It's been my experience that pull ups are just glorified diapers and that when children have them on, it sends the message to the child that they have the option of peeing and pooping in their pants or not. And, of course, I'm sure that you don't want them to have that option. But if you or his preschool are not comfortable with him going completely pull-up free, you may want to have him put on a pair of underwear under his pull up so that when he does have an accident, he can feel but there won't be as big of a mess to clean up.
Another thing that I think you may want to discuss with his preschool is teaching him to use the sign language symbol for bathroom when he needs to go just so that poo-poo and boo-boo are clearly distinguished and there's no mistaking what he needs. It's actually a very easy sign for a 3-year old to learn so he should be able to communicate this need to his teachers at school in no time flat.
I hope this gives you some ideas on how to possibly trouble shoot the situation. Good luck to you and happy holidays.
Oh - I could be you! My son is also 3 -born in October as well and despite the family pressures (MIL/FIL keep telling me how much EASIER it would be if I just had him potty trained! Sure thing. They seem to think spending my whole life in a bathroom waiting for the magical appearance of pee would somehow be an improvement over my current diaper-wearing, free-wheeling life?) we are NOT potty trained. My son can stay dry during the night but days are an entirely different story - VERY difficult for him. I am a SAHM with hubby who can't be around (so basically single) so consistency is not our issue either.
I have a bunch of friends who have their kids potty trained and after much worshipping at the porcelein altar and consulting of the experts, here's what my general conclusion is:
1. Girls are potty whizzes. Boys are not.
2. FIRSTBORN boys seem to have a particularly difficult time.
3. Firstborn boys without a male adult role model are dang-near impossible.
Even my friends who have more boys than I would consider sane have said that their boys did not REALLY potty well until they were between 3 1/2 to 4 1/2, and then they did it on their own. These are the people I feel are really honest about what I consider to be potty success stories. I do not think having a boy go every 30 min, spend 15 to 30 minutes trying and still have accidents is "TRAINED." I may be an incredibly lazy mom, but I think the point it to train HIM, not train ME. (after all, I already KNOW how to potty!) So we remain in pull-ups gradually going down the path where it might dawn on him to make a move, wave a flag, do a dance, speak in tongues - ANYTHING, just so long as he does it BEFORE he goes! Not there yet. Hang in there, dear one. You are not alone and you're not the worst mom for not having your little dude potty trained by 2. (I am!) ;-)
I am a little peeved that your day care seems to be part of the problem. Seriously, their JOB is little kids and they can't get a handle on a solution? AND they don't want you there? Hmmmm... I'm usually one for openess, so I would express to them your concerns again with the added notation to them that you EXPECT them to work WITH you to come up with a solution that does not penalize your son intellectually or socially because he is not physically as developed as other children. (Wow - that was a mouthful...) Anyway, they wouldn't hold a kid in a wheelchair out of a class because they weren't as physically developed as their peers, would they? I would also let them know that you are looking into other solutions, including other day care providers, if that is really a possibility - don't use it if you don't intend to follow through. I would also probe this idea that you are not welcome in his class a little further. (That just sounds SOOO not right, I'm hoping that I misunderstood you or you misunderstood them...) Perhaps it was just one or two days that were just too chaotic & busy for teachers due to holidays that you couldn't come? Maybe you could approach it from the direction of "Which day(s) would be most convenient for me to come in to help out with this problem?" (Don't give them the option of "never" of course.) If they are not cool with having you come at all, I would point-blank ask them why. If they are too busy to deal with the additional demands you may make while there, I think that will have pin-pointed the problem and it is DEFINTITELY time for a change.
Okay, I ramble. Hope something has helped. Merry Christmas! Hang in there! We will all send our sons to college without diapers!
:-)
j
Hi T.,
Find another school........They sound like they could care less about the issues you are having.
I also have a great on-line book about potty training. Email me at ____@____.com and I will forward it to you.
Another suggestion would be to let him go naked from the waist down. This is how my sister trained her son and it worked within a week. He was also 3 years old at the time.I know how frustrating it can be. Sometimes, the pull ups can be confusing to them, I know it could be a huge pain in the butt, but maybe you should just stick to underware even if he goes pee in it all the time. It's always best to be consistant. When he is home, set up a timer and make it a habit/ruitine to go into the bathroom at certain times.
You might even have to go the route of punishment (but not real punishment) maybe you can tell him, if you pee in you underware then you don't get to watch you favorite show today. Something simple, not devistating, just to see what happens. To me it just sounds like he is a little lazy. It's SOOOOO typical of a boy, it's not you, although it does sound like there needs to be a little more consistancy , but of course that would include the daycare situation. I'm not sure, but I would see what your rights are regarding being there to help train him.
Let me know if you want the book. It's worth reading, even just to get more of an insight.
Take care, and happy holiday's,
M.
Your situation is pretty complex to be giving specific advice for. However, you are investing way to much emotional energy if you are are "dedicating weekends" to watching with a hawk-eye his potty performance. Something to seriously consider is that the high level of anxiety you are exhibiting regarding this topic may well be holding your son back more than you realize. I highly recommend reading the book "ScreamFree Parenting" - that book has helped me so much with all of the preschooler issues including potty training. My 2.5 year-old is fully potty trained on his own now.
On a side note, it is way too high an expectation for boys to consistently keep dry while sleeping - I have mom friends who's older boys wet the bed on and off until they were 10 years old. It seems that boys just have a different control level than girls while sleeping.
