My son is almost 3 1/2 years old. Potty training has been a serious adventure. I thought he was going to be trained shortly after he turned two, but then an automatic flush toilet set us WAAAAY back. It has only been about 3 months since he's started using the potty all day, wearing underpants, and not having accidents. I consider him potty trained. He also stays dry all night and will come and get me if he does need to pee (usually early in the morning, around 5:30 or 6). HOWEVER, we are still having difficulty with pooping at bedtime. I am pretty sure it is not a fear of using the potty since he poops in the potty almost every day after lunch. But almost every night, after we put him to bed, he poops in that diaper. I tried putting him to bed in underpants since he knows not to poop in those--he pooped in them. Pull-ups--poop. Going in every couple minutes to check on him, asking him if he needs to poop (he says yes, pees a few drops, and then goes back to bed)... ultimately, he still poops in that diaper almost every night. I am at a loss here. My daughters trained much earlier and easier and I am just not sure where to go from here. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
I may not have explained the situation as well as I thought I had. He is not pooping while he is asleep. This is happening within 5-15 minutes of him going to bed. We do his bedtime routine, say good night, leave the room, and within a few minutes he will poop. After I change him (OF COURSE I wouldn't let him sleep in a dirty diaper!!!), he goes to sleep and sleeps all night--and stays clean/dry. I just want to transition that final poop of the day to BEFORE we put him to bed and I am not sure how to make that happen.
Normal progression of potty training.
People cant poop on demand.
Gamma G. Nailed it.
Don't let him sleep in a dirty diaper.
Change him.
Be a ninja.
Pooping while asleep is not a choice. It's involuntary. He can't stop it. It's the same as a baby pooping in their diaper.
You need to accept your child is not potty trained and just plan ahead. Put pull ups on him at night until he stays clean and dry for at least a couple of weeks in a row.
I don't think there's anything you can do about it if he's pooping after he falls asleep. I am surprised it's poop and not pee. I didn't think people did that at night, except babies or on rare occasions. So, if it were me, I would probably call my ped just in case. (Oh, what do I know, it's probably perfectly normal.)
I do know that many kids are not able to stay dry through the night until they are 6 or 7 ... some even longer. Their bodies simply aren't ready. I would guess that for some kids, this would include pooping. Their bodies simply aren't ready to recognize it.
But it can't hurt to check with your ped and make sure there's nothing to be concerned about.
It's possible that even if he's pooping some during the day he's not actually emptying so when he finally relaxes and falls asleep at night he finishes emptying his bowels. That's nothing you can control. It's something he needs to outgrow. The signals aren't developed yet. Just keep putting him in a diaper at night so you aren't giving yourself needless work cleaning everything up every night and wait for his body to mature.
He's 3. He's not ready. He's only used the potty during the day for 3 months, and you already expect full control at night after he's a had a long day. A lot of kids are well past 4 when their bodies develop enough to control this. Surely you have seen night-time products for much older kids too.
I agree that YOU are more than ready but you must see this as a developmental stage and not a discipline or "training" issue. He is tired, his body relaxes, and his body's natural mechanisms take over. Most children are not "trained" at 3. I have no idea why your child was somehow "ready" to use the potty at 2 but that was highly unusual and quite possibly a fluke. You put the blame on an automatic flush toilet, but if you read Mamapedia and talk to a lot of parents, you will find that most children go through a phase where they kind of flirt with the toilet but aren't fully successful.
I wouldn't put your child in underwear at night. This is just not a training problem! Put him in a diaper for as along as it takes. A lot of kids relax in the tub at night so if you don't normally give him a warm bath and have a long quiet time to get ready for bed, you might start that to see if his body naturally relaxes earlier and he has a bowel movement before bed.
But I wouldn't keep asking him about it. He's still so young and he's really right on target. When kids feel shame or feel that they are not performing as expected with things they cannot control (walking, talking, sleeping, using the toilet), it sometimes drags things out even longer. Let him be a kid and get some sleep. If he poops, change him, but don't keep talking about it or acting frustrated and disappointed. Really. He won't do this forever. He is a different child than your daughters. Boys often are, but any child can have his/her own schedule. I'm sure he did other things earlier than other children - just accept him for who he is and let him grow up at his own pace.
He's just not physically ready. I'd just keep using a pull up or diaper at night. That is what we had to do with my son. He had to use pull ups when he was 4 and a half at night. Even at age 5 and 6 he would have pee accidents while sleeping. I remember having to wash a LOT of sheets...not quite daily but often. Sorry I don't have better advice! That is no fun to have to clean up a poop diaper each night.
If he's pooping within minutes of going to be every night, why not make him sit and try to poop before bed? That's how we trained my 3 year old, I just paid attention to when he went most often (after breakfast and dinner) and we sat for a bit after those times and lo and behold: He'd poop. We used markers to color while he sat to keep him entertained, he'd always stop and tell us when he was done, and rarely sat more than 5 minutes before going. Maybe do your bedtime story on the potty for awhile and see what happens. If he's only peeing a few drops and then saying he's done, he's probably not sitting long enough. After about a month of having my son sit, we stopped and after only a couple accidents he started telling us he needed to go.
Updated
If he's pooping within minutes of going to be every night, why not make him sit and try to poop before bed? That's how we trained my 3 year old, I just paid attention to when he went most often (after breakfast and dinner) and we sat for a bit after those times and lo and behold: He'd poop. We used markers to color while he sat to keep him entertained, he'd always stop and tell us when he was done, and rarely sat more than 5 minutes before going. Maybe do your bedtime story on the potty for awhile and see what happens. If he's only peeing a few drops and then saying he's done, he's probably not sitting long enough. After about a month of having my son sit, we stopped and after only a couple accidents he started telling us he needed to go.
You really didn't get any helpful answers...
I went through this with my oldest. She was potty trained at 2 1/2. But I put off night time training for another year. At that point she started pooping in her pull up after she laid down for bed while she was still awake. Just as you described with your son. After a couple of weeks of continuous trouble over it I just took the pull ups away. She never pooped after bedtime again. Not in her pants or anything.
I say give that another shot. Explain to him that big boys MUST poop in the toilet. Unless he is asleep, and it's truly an accident. But that isn't the issue for him anyway. If he still struggles with it then I would push his bedtime back. Do whatever you can to get him to poop earlier. And if that fails, punish him. I know this isn't a popular method on MP, but it is an option that works.
i know YOU'RE ready, especially having had a child who was ready so much earlier. but he's not really that off-schedule. if he's only pooping at night, what's the problem with keeping a diaper on him then? he's doing a good job during the day, when he's awake and in control.
just be patient a little longer. he's just not quite there yet.
khairete
S.
