3 Year Old Not Wanting to Use the Potty

Read the applicable section in John Rosemond's "Making the 'Terrible' Twos Terrific!" He says the accomplishment is not the parents' but the child's, and is not about cleanliness or bathroom skills but about independence. That SHE CHOOSES to go to the bathroom because SHE is a big girl. It sounds like she knows what to do, so she just needs everyone to back off and let her show the initiative. I love John Rosemond's books; his advice is very common sense and practical.

dear V.,
hey i very much feel for you as i am in the same boat. my daughter is 3 1/2 and still wont use the tiolet. she knows that she is supposed to go in the toilet. when ever she tee tees or poops in her diaper she gets all antsy and kinda hides because she knows she is supposed to go in the toilet but is to busy playing with all the kids she doesnt stop to tell me she has to go. i tried to start training her at 2 but she screamed every time i put her on the toilet. so i waited a few more months and the same thing happened. meanwhile while all this is going on the daycare she went to breathed down my neck saying she couldnt move on to the preschool room til she was trained. and i kept telling them that i am trying and they tried to help out at daycare but she just wouldnt use the toilet. i told them she will use it when she is ready and put her back in diapers. well she has started to stay dry all night because i have stopped giving her a pippy (thats what she calls her sippy cup)at night. 2 mornings in a row she went tee tee in the toilet so i would give her the choice of diaper or panties, she has 9 pairs. she chose panties but ended up back in a diaper by 3 pm because all her panties got wet or dirty. i have tried the m&m reward thing but she got tired of them after so much time. she has a sticker book to choose stickers from now and she loves it. also when ever she does pee herselfe i have her take off her wets clothes and put them in the washer and then she sits on a stool (after dry clothes have been put back on) for 3 minutes and then i ask her why she was in time out and if she gives the right answer she gets to get up but if she doesnt remember of gets the answer wrong she has to sit for 1 more minute then she can get up after she is reminded to tell when she has to go to the toilet. if you find anything that works for you please let me know. my best advice is DO NOT BUY PULL-UPS THEY ARE ONLY EXPENSIVE DIAPERS, also it takes longer to train. well hope to hear good news. please add me as a friend and we can keep in touch. J.

shell get there dont push her it may take longer. praise her for good attempts.
K.

i'm unsure myself, with a 2.5 y.o. boy.
but i do know that i can help with your cooking needs and equiping you with Tupperware!

My son turned 2 in June. About a month before his birthday I decided I was tired of waiting for him. He would use the potty sometimes, but with no regularity. He mostly just didn't want to, so he didn't. So one day I took off the pull-ups and put on underwear. The first 2 days were mostly accidents, but I stuck with it. The 3rd day I was in shock because he only had 2 accidents. Its been close to 2 months now and he's still having accidents occasionally, and of course at night he's still in pull ups/diapers. I didn't think he would ever potty train, but after being in underwear and feeling being wet all the time, he decided the potty was better and just started doing it. Good luck!!! Its not a fun journey, lol!

I feel your pain! My son will be 4 in August and we have been through every potty training scenario you can think of. We started trying right after his 3rd birthday, but it was so stressful (tears from both of us, daily) that we had to give up. This summer we tried again and one day he just decided he wanted to wear underwear and we never went back to pull-ups. She will let you know and don't get into a power struggle. Keep it very positive (no punishment and no shame when she wets her pants). We have accidents about every other day and sometimes he will hold it for 24 hours, which is crazy, but I refuse to give up. He will get it eventually. I recommend "Potty Trainign for Dummies". It was helpful for me, because it was simple and positive. If you sense that she is interested but unwilling to try, find her "currency". What is the one thing she will do anything to get. For us, it was Transformers, but since they are not cheap we made up a potty chart and when he gets 10 Potty Points (the 10th square has a smiley face so he knows) he gets a robot. Good luck, hope this helps.

My daughter refused to train, and wasn't trained very well until she was almost four and at night until she was five, so I sympathize. Everyone says to wait until they are ready, but my daughter would still be in a pull-up if she had her way. I had to literally take her to the bathroom every 15 minutes for about a week, until she got the hang of it. Otherwise we'd have accidents everywhere, she just didn't care. But I would not recommend putting it off any longer - just plan to stay home for awhile until she gets it, and then of course you'll have to use the bathroom everywhere you go. Good luck!

For our daughter we went and pick out some big girl panties with her and made a big deal about what a big girl she was. We got "rid" of all her baby diapers. (we put them away just in case) Then she took it from there. We had some accidents which we made her clean up. this taught her they didn't just magically go away. We also offered her rewards at the beginning it was encuragement when she went. Then we offered her a reward when she went all day without an accident then a bigger reward for all week. after a month or two we stopped the rewards and she was fully potty trained. We still have accidents when she goes through a growth spert and those are only at night. Other then that she is good. She is almost 5 now. :)

I am a mom of 4, so I have had my experiences. Each one was different. If it were my child I would warn her and let her know you will not be buying anymore diapers. In the meantime, while she is at home don't put a diaper/pullup on her. She will learn, but you are the parent and will have to encourage her and be the boss. In my opinion pullups don't work as well, because they feel like a diaper. She may have accidents and that can be frustrating, but sometimes that is what it takes. When she knows you mean business she'll get it. She should be completely trained by 3 years unless there is a medical reason she's not.

Don't worry u r doing a great job. Kids are stubborn sometimes and she will learn to potty in her own time. Just mention it to her, try not to stress (kids can tell)and let her watch you go and she will get the idea when it is her time.!!!!

Take your daughter shopping and let her pick out big girl panties. Tell her she is a big girl, and big girls wear panties and not diapers. Then put her in them.

She may have an accident or two, but the feel of wet panties will encourage her to go potty.

My daughter did the same thing last year. Finally, after several months of trying, I just told her we didn't have any more diapers. She was put into panties and didn't have a choice. She only had a few wet accidents. I would make her sit for a few minutes in the tub in her wet clothes while I cleaned the mess up. She hated it and started using the toilet. With my daughter it was a control issue. She wanted to be in charge of her potty situation, but now she's found other things to be in charge of. :)
Good luck.

J.

hey V.! I would put her in the big girl panties. When she has an accident a few times she'll start. Using that potty..they don't like the feeling all over them and down their legs! I would talk with her about being a big girl and name all the big girls that use the potty like mommy, grandma, sister etc.