3 Year Old Mumbling

Updated on January 21, 2009
N.S. asks from Tucson, AZ
8 answers

Our nearly 3 year old has been getting worse and worse with her speaking. She speaks VERY clearly and has a huge vocabulary...if you can hear her. She speaks so quietly sometimes and my husband and I are constantly saying "what?" We're always telling her to speak up and to talk louder. She used to only speak on the phone this quietly, but now she's doing it all the time in regular conversation.
My husband and I aren't old, by any means, so it's not that we have old ears. :) She's just really terribly quiet. And we are NOT quiet people. We're very vocal and neither of us has ever spoken in a soft voice. It's like she's invented her own "in door voice" even though we've never mentioned such a thing.
How can we get her to speak up? Could there be anything wrong that I'm not thinking of? Her hearing is fine. She never asks us to repeat things and the only time she doesn't hear us is when she is so hooked on something else (playing with her toys or watching a show).
Thanks for your input!

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G.A.

answers from Phoenix on

My son was the same way.
It took him a while to grow out of it.
(was 8 yrs old when it ended)
Part of it was he was very shy.
Part of it also might be that he did not want to be wrong or get in trouble.

He is fine now....

I know it is difficult but it does get better.
Just hang in there.

As for the hearing.... that is selective hearing and also she could be concentrating hard.
Some people can block out the outside noise when doing activities more than others.

HTH feel free to contact me.

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J.L.

answers from Phoenix on

If you have already tried everything else you might try responding to her in an even quieter voice than she is speaking to you. She might get frustrated at not being able to hear you and talk louder herself. It works with my brother-in-laws kids on the phone when they talk to quiet to hear them. Good luck and God bless.

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T.S.

answers from Santa Fe on

My six year old WAS the same way. Like the other responding mother's child, mine is shy, doesn't want to be wrong, and really likes to please. Now we cannot get him to talk quietly; he even yells, a lot! I think he competes with or joins in with his siblings for attention. So, first, continue in your efforts with patience and long-suffering.
Also, my six year old is receiving speech therapy. Your affluent, enunciating, three year old may not qualify for services, but you can ask a speech therapist for advice and ideas on this issue. So, secondly, ask your pediatrician with whom they would recommend you to speak. Depending on your state's services for Early Childhood Development,there should be an agency. Perhaps, you could ask well-trained preschool staff who are sure to have such contacts. Our state university children 's hospital works with therapists as part of their follow up care for neonatal patients who themselves are familiar with local agencies. So, secondly, if you have access, check out what the professionals say. Even a preschool teacher at least, has experience.
Being mothers of three, we know that each child is unique. Your three year old sounds just like my second child who is also three. When I remind him to speak up he does. So, I let it go at that. I'm gathering yours doesn't always respond to what you are trying. What is going on for her emotionally? Is she aware of the new baby? How does she feel about being a big sister again? When you remind her to speak up are you annoyed or interested in your tone of voice? Also, would I be very tired and exasperated from raising, training, and caring for two young children, while also teaching college students, and growing a new baby? YES! So, thirdly, my latest offspring IS teaching me to let go. It has been unpleasant at times, but I want to be truthful and real to you.
Just a sidetrack, I thought of something else you could pursue: I read about siblings' speech being affected by each other; is your 19 month old speaking? Is he making noise? Is he quiet or loud? Lastly, these things are complicated. So, give yourself and your daughter time; seek more help from professionals, I'm wishing and hoping someone will respond to you soon with practical and tested ideas for you to try; and I have been on the receiving and giving end of this issue, as a shy, soft spoken child grown up to be harried, busy mother of three, but aspiring to be of character: patience, loving-kindness, so, I think I can say: use this as an opportunity to develop your mother-daughter relationship which you obviously cherish.
My 13 month old daughter is stirring up in the family bed, and with it being flu season at my house...the sick need their rest, the healthy have their needs, too, and I'm stuck in the middle of them all! (Not literally) What was I saying about letting go? Does this mean I'm not Super Mom in that area to? But that's my request story, isn't it!?! Thanks for listening, God bless you, and good luck!

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A.A.

answers from Tucson on

I have a friend whose son was Soo quiet like that at age 4, and she tried everything... with no success. She then said that she was at her wits end and decided that if he refused to speak loudly and clearly enough for anyone to hear him, then maybe she should act as if she couldn't hear him! She ignored his quiet requests until he got angry and she told him that it is His Job as the person speaking, to make sure others he is trying to communicate with can hear him. She had to do it for a month or so: pretending to not hear him and then explaining that it's always his job to speak up.

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K.W.

answers from Phoenix on

Just a thought...sometimes kids will speak very softly because you MUST pay close attention to them in order to hear what they are saying. It doesn't have anything to do with your hearing but rather some need they have at the time to get you to focus on them. It can just be a temporary phase.

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M.M.

answers from Flagstaff on

It may be possible she has extra sensitive ears and likes the lower volume. I use an extra soft voice when I want my kid's attention rather than loud so they have to listen better to me. She might be using the same plan on you?
good luck, M.

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L.G.

answers from Phoenix on

Get her hearing checked anyway

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H.R.

answers from Phoenix on

I would say its probably just a shy phrase. As long as she speaks clearly and has a good vocab its probably nothing to worry about!

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