3 Year Old Keeping Me up All Night

My kids went through this phase, & I just explained to them before bed, that they can get up when they see sunlight coming in their windows, if there is no sunlight then it is sleep time and the only reason to get up during sleep time is to go potty, get a drink, or if they are getting sick; otherwise it is just disturbing the rest of the family & that has consequences. Then explain your consequence, which should be his currency item. for my son it is his t.v. time or games. My daughter is her dancing.
Let him know that if he disturbs the rest of the family at night again, then he will not get to blank the next day and follow through the next day. Do not say anything that night cause then you'll be dealing with a fit, but just take him back to bed then the next day when he asks for blank, say, "Oh, I'm sorry, i would love to let you, but you chose to disturb the rest of the family last night, but maybe tomorrow you can, if you choose better tonight. K buddy? Then walk away & let him process.....If after a few days it still isn't getting through, add more consequences & continue the same dialog at night & in the morning. He's a smart kid & I'm sure he'll figure it out. I mean this is pretty normal, he has lost some of your attention & he's not ready for that yet, so he's getting his one on one time at night with you. Pretty smart really, but it will take it's toll on the family. I'd also try & give him at least 30 minutes of one on one time during the day, say during baby's nap. your in a transition period & he just needs guideance on how to get through it. I have found talking & communicating are great, but follow through is the key. Let him know flat out why you believe he's doing this and that while you love spending time with him alone, you don't care to do it during sleep time. This validates that you do understand him and you still see him & that you do care about what he needs & wants. Just assure him that he's still a priority, but at night, not gonna happen. Maybe explain too that the baby will not be in your room forever, just until the baby is old enough to sleep by herself. Then she too will sleep in her own room when she is a big girl like he is a big boy. I'm sure he will feel better about the whole situation & when he wakes at night, he'll make the right choice. Hope this helps you.

Wow, Anneka's advice is pretty harsh. Have you thought about moving his bed into your room for a little while, so he will feel a part of this too? I imagine he probably feels left out.

Or maybe, you could tell him, if he doesn't come into your room all week, then he can sleep with you on Friday nights.

I agree with Laurie. No lights and no talk. Just march him back to bed. He will get over the phase soon, hang in there!

If you are not willing to gate him in or lock his door, (either would work, by the way), your next option would be to return him to his bed until he stays. You said you return him and "put him to sleep". If this involves anything other than walking him silently back to bed and leaving the room, then that's your problem. If you're talking to him, soothing him, or bargaining with him, stop rewarding him with your attention. Right now, he's in control. Tell him when he first goes to bed that he has to stay there all night. Then when he comes into your room, take him back without comment. Sit outside the door, and as soon as his feet hit the floor again, go in and put him back. Make him think that you see everything, know everything, hear everything. Leave your chair in the hall all day if possible, so he'll "know" you'll be outside his door at night. It won't take more than a night or two for him to give up.

Different approach here...He sounds like he needs reassuring, because this behavior started when your daughter was born. I'd let him sleep in your room, on a mattress or sleeping bag if keeping him in your bed will keep you awake. Hopefully you'll all get more sleep and he will grow out of this. Heaven knows, you must be going nuts with the lack of sleep and new baby, so I would do what is expedient and comforting for all.

When my daughter was 3 she did this after we moved. I am a light sleeper and it doesn't work for her to sleep in the bed with us, so I put her sleeping bag on the floor next to the bed and told her if she wants to stay in our room she can sleep on the floor. The novelty wore off after a few times. Sometimes we let her fall asleep in our bed, but then would transfer her to her bed when we were ready to go to sleep. Sounds like your son just needs some extra attention, but nighttime is not the time for it. One suggestion is to make sure he gets extra time alone with you during the day - play a game, read books, etc. It's amazing what 15 min of focused attention can change. Also, kids love routines, so make sure his bedtime routine is not getting disrupted and that he is getting to bed early enough - if kids don't get enough sleep they sleep worse at night. Good luck!

My then 6 year old daughter did this when her baby sister was born. We figured she felt lonely and left out. We adopted a dog (not a puppy) which slept in her room. She stopped visiting us the first night.
Good luck.

Ok you did last night bed duty tonight have your husband take your son back every time..

Do not give in, it may take a few nights, but he is going to learn you all are not backing down. Also do not talk to him except to say the same thing. "It is time to sleep. Stay in your bed." Do not turn on any lights, do not show emotion..

I had the same problem with my son|grandson getting out of bed at night. I tried everything. Marching back to bed, privileges taken away, hook & latch on door (was not comfortable with that so took it off) sitting outside his door until he fell asleep (exhausting) the thing that finally worked was a friend gave me a stick on alarm they sell @ Walmart that has to be applied. In 2 pieces on the door & frame that alarms when the magnetic connection is broken when the door is opened. That way you can meet him in the hall as he is coming out of the room and return him to his bed immeditely It worked for my very stubborn child but took a few nights to realize he wasn't going to make it to my room because I met him right outside his door. I always hug & kiss him & tell him it's bedtime he needs to get back in bed. My other suggestion since you know it is related to your new baby, let him be a part of the new baby's bedtime routine of feeding, bathing then spend some one on one time with him bathing , reading a bedtime story etc. then put to bed with all the assurance and turn the alarm on. You need to encourage dad to get in there & help with bedtime routines so ya'll can have some alone time in the evenings before going to bed.

our son woke up once out of bed the first night we had him in his toddler bed. when he ran in the kitchen where i was i did not even look at him but said in a stern voice " you better get in that bed right now" and closed my eyes and really hoped that worked. it did! he wont get out of bed unless we go get him and tell him we can get up. it was the same when i was little i knew better than to be playing games. what might help him with staying asleep is some white noise. babys make all sorts of noises durring the night and he might be waking because of your new little one. good luck.

He may be looking for attention since the baby is so needy during the day. Be sure to include him in every decision you make with the new baby. "Do you think she is hungry?" "Should she wear this today or this?" "
Do you think she needs a diaper?" "Where do we keep the diapers?" "Would it be okay if Grandma holds her?" You get the idea. He needs to feel in control so give him as much control as you possibly can.

Make a sticker chart for your son. Tell him that every time he gets ___ stickers, he can go with you or Dad to the park or the library or wherever he likes to go. He will want to have that 1 on 1 time. Then at night, catch him awake in his room and tell him you are going to put a sticker on his chart because you found him in his room. If he stays in his room all night it can be 2 stickers. Keep trying to catch him in his room so you can give him another sticker. When he comes into your room, say "Oh, too bad you can't get a sticker right now because I didn't catch you in your room." Tell him to hurry back to his room and maybe Daddy will catch him in his room. Just some ideas. Make it a fun game.

He's only three years old. I agree that reassuring him by allowing him to sleep beside your bed is the way to go for now. He's feeling left out because the baby is sleeping with you, and he needs to feel loved and bonded with, not separated and pushed away. You sound like a mom who is very in tune with what your children need, hence the "staying up" to wait for him to come back, as well as having the baby in your room. Some children are ok with being away from their parents at night when a new baby is born, some are not. It sounds like your son just needs a little more time to get used to the new addition to the family and not feel like he's being "pushed out".