I have a 3y/o who just acts out of control sometimes and I dont know how to handle it. He can be so sweet but once he gets in his moods there is no controlling him and Ive tried getting down to his level and talking to him, yelling, firmly stating, putting him in time-out, ignoring. I have no idea what else to try. Its driving me nuts. Does anyone have any advice at all?
Thank you for all your suggestions. I actually made a sticker chart yesterday for their potty training and I think Im going to add on there good behavior stckers as well.
This is very normal for a 3-yo. I suggest joining http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PositiveParenting-Discipline
THere are some awesome moms with so much expertise in this area - this group is a lifesaver!
I read a book once by a gut named Rex Forehand. It was about dealing with headstrong children. it had some excellent excercises in it for mother/child, They helped me a lot. i had the same issues with my son arund that age. It also said that spending more one on one time with him on his level really helped. I'm afraid that you going back to work might make matters worse. I started going back to school around the same time my son was having this anger/control issues. This book really helped me. I did end up quitting school after one semester due to issues with my second pregnancy, and the anger/control issues with my son lessened. In the book it talks about that at that age they aren't sure yet how to deal with change and the emotions that come with change. So maybe this could be the same issue? As for the going back to work, I'm afraid it might make it worse. While I understand the need for money, maybe you could persue another avenue of income that would keep you home at least part time with your children. I'm not out to sell you anything. I am a Mary Kay Consultant and a stay at home mom. Mary Kay is a good opportunity, even if your just using it to supplement your salary. Which is what I do. You deserve the chance to say no to this opportunity. Every woman does. You also deserve to spend time with your babies at a time when they need you the most. Mary kay makes that possible for so many women. My number is ###-###-#### if you would like more info. Good Luck ,and I would get that book from the library.
I think these moods come with the age, b/c my 3 year old daughter was an angel until she turned three. And now she hardly ever listens and talks back to me. The one thing I have learned is that you have to follow through with your threats and be consistent. Like if she misbehaves and I tell her to stop twice on the second time I say if you do it again you have to go lay in your bed for 5 minute(she is usually given 3 chances to straighten up). Also, if you are still looking for a job in a few months, let me know (____@____.com) I will probaby be looking for someone to add to my office team around November.
Hi. Children are always testing to see how far they can go and what they can get away with. My advice is not to get down on his level or to yell but to show him who is in charge and don't ever give in to him, ever. If you give in once he will remember and the next time he will push and push until you give in or go crazy. Personally I would give a good swat to the bottom with a paddle (never use a hand, that is for loving him) but I know not everyone believes in that. Whatever method you use, stick with it and be consistant. Eventually it will work. If you keep changing your method it won't be recognized as disipline. Children are good at manipulating so don't let him make you feel bad and give into him. I hope this helps.
What I did was offer a reward for good behavior. If they see that they will earn something for good behavior then they will try to mimick the behavior to get the reward. Are your children the same sex?
Just keep telling yourself that this is a phase he's going through and he WILL grow out of it...you just have to be patient. I know its hard, I have a 21 month old who is starting the tantrum stage now.
Also, I would lovr to rerer you to a wonderful day-care. My friend Tayia runs a daycare out of her home and has the Best rates in Ft. Myers. She is CPR certified and is currntly taking chilhood edu.classes for citification. I will be starting to work with her next month and we'd love to have you give us a call and interview and possible send your children there.
She charges 20 dollars a day and is open 24/7!! You cant beet that!! Please email me and I will be glad to give you her number. Also anyone else reading this is welcome to email me.... ____@____.com.
Thank you and Good Luck
A.,
First of all this is very normal behavior for his age. We all have dealt with this.
You can't control it. All you can do is control what reaction you give. He wants his way. If you give it to him he has learned that's how he gets his way. Ignore him. Even if you are in Walmart. Get down to his level firmly tell him to stop. If he doesn't tell him to let you know when he is done and wait. Act bored and don't pay attention. When he is done don't talk about it . Just go about your business.
When he see's it's nonproductive he will stop. Good Luck.
how long did you stay with the things you tried kids know they can out last you so by changing it around trying something else makes them smart ( all I have to do is act out and she find a punishment I LIKE ) TRY STICKING TO THE SAME THING SEND HIM TO HIS ROOM DONT TO COME OUT TILL HE IS DONE HE CAN SCREAM AND HAVE HIS FIT BUT YOUR NOT GOING TO LISEN TO IT, TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED YOU MAY COME OUT WHEN YOUR FINSHED THEY DONT LIKE TO BE ALONE SO HE WILL STOP AND ASK IF HE CAN COME OUT YOU SAY ARE YOU DONE THEN YES AND ASK HIM IF HE FEELS BETTER AND WOULD HE LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT? STOP WHAT EVER YOU ARE DOING AND GIVE HIM YOUR TIME IF YOU CAN NOT THEN SAY JUST A MIN TIME OUT SHOULD BE AGE APROPERIT 3 3MIN SO ON BUT SOME TIMES YOU HAVE TO DO MORE BUT STICK TO IT MAKE SURE IT WORKS FOR YOU. ALSO TRY CALMING TEA OR LAVENDER OILS IF YOU NEED MORE INFO FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME I CAN GET THEM FOR YOU
____@____.com AND TAKE TIME FOR YOUR SELF KIDS CAN FEEL YOUR STRESS
My 3 yoa is the same way and i dont remember my 5 yoa being that bad. My pediatrion says that from 3 to 4 is the worse age and i think he is right. Ive tried everything but i cant get nothing to work. So if you find something im all ears. It is so nice to know im not the only one
i use to babysit in missouri and i did it for 8 years all the children i had were mostly children no one wanted to babysit.... with me they were wonderful and loving.... the ones that were a little more hipper i found out they were ahead of themself, too fast , and were bored easily and tended to be mischievis.....try giving him more things to do like writing ... tracing letters.... coloring, even playing with him, and exercising it really works keep him busy and do not give him a nap if it passes 12.... reading is also very good sit him in your lap and read to him sing to him nursery rymes even inventing a story when he starts to act up like oh,...... my gosh you just reminded me of a little boy his name was and event a name.... look all excited and go on and on... and if he keeps crying just go oh, well guess you don't want to hear the whole story.... ;you be surprise his amazement.... no child is too hipper i just think they get bored more easily...because like i said they are just a little more advanced then some children their age.... all children are different in growing and learning ..... you will be fine... enjoy him they grow up real quick i asure you.... lol
hope this is helpful...
mother of 5 ages boy23, twin girls 20, daughter 15, and youngest 5, just love children working right now for executive womens golf association in palm beach gardens and training for manager in mcdonlds.... so i work 2 jobs as a side work hopefully in about 2/3 month will open up my own home day care...... will be taking classes in ircc in nov....
Have you tried taking certain things away from him? Maybe a favorite toy or if he watches a certain cartoon. Of course be sure to explain to him that he will get this thing or privilage back when he is ready to listen.
You could also do the reverse and use a reward system. Everytime he does something he's suppose to you could have a chart and add a sticker but everytime he doesn't explain no sticker. When he gets a certain number of stickers he can earn something. Make it realistic, something he is gonna want. A bowl of ice cream, a trip to the park. Maybe everyonce in a while a new toy.
I hope you find something that helps.
if he is throwing a tantram and kicking and yelling, do the smae thing he is doing! show him what he looks like when he does that! my son was the same way and he still is but not as bad. If he ws acting like that because you wouldnt give him something make sure you dont give in! thats the biggest thing!
there are many options here that you coudl do that wouldbe beneficial. it is rather normal for the childs age. i would suggest getting the book easy to love difficult to discipline by becky baily. its wonderful with ideas for this age. there are also classes called concious discipline classes. they have them in the palm beach area . if you are not in that area you can see if there are some in your area too.
thats my best suggestion. that book will be very helpful for you AND the child :)
sincerly,
R. Kraft CLD (CAPPA) CD (DONA) FCCE HBCE
mother of Emma & Jacob
Doula ,Photographer & Childbirth educator
http://www.Palmbeachdoula.com
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My 2 year old gets in those little "moods" sometimes, I just walk away and leave her on the floor. She cries and acts up for another minute or two and then stops when she realizes that no one is paying attention to her. When she is calm I explain to her why I am upset and what it was that she did wrong and then send her to her room for a few minutes. After her time out she usually tells me that she is sorry.
