3 Year Old Daughter Not Eating Well Very Worried

stop the snacks & juice! Then stand firm at mealtimes...start with a quick drink of milk - no juice!- & then she has to have 3 good bites of each food item on her plate before she can have the milk again. Reward her with a small treat - a cookie, etc - if she willingly complies with this process.

I know this sounds harsh, but she's got you over a barrel right now! You're worried, you're desperate.....& you need to take control. Oh, & the 3 bites comes from her age.....just like one minute for each year of age for timeout....it's a reasonable amount.

Hopefully addressing these eating issues will help straighten out the sleeping problems. Good Luck.

Hi S.,

You got pretty good answers H.. Most kids at this age behave the way your little daughter does.
Try to keep healthy snacks, and get rid of those not healthy (or keep them far away where she cannot reach them)Give her two snacks during the day, but just bites between meals (I give my my youngest apples, corn, bananas,crackers and cheese, goldfish,little rolls of ham, etc)It is ok give the kids ONCE in a while some treats,but...once in a while. The less sugary snacks and juice she gets, the more she will eat. Keep meals routine, I mean, always give her the meals at the same time whenever is possible, and replace juices by water or skim milk(or 1% milk)
Regarding her sleeping habits, every single time she goes to your room, you have to take her back to her room. Stay with her just a couple of minutes, kiss her and come back to your room. Probably, if you leave something with her that belongs to you (a T-shirt, a scarf, etc.)she may feel more secure, and help her to fall asleep.
I hope this helps a little bit, but remember it will pass if you are consistent. You may have to take your daughter back to her room more than a couple of times, but she will get it. Just do it softly, and nicely even if you feel tired or frustrated. Good luck...every mom has been there on this!!!
Alejandra

Kids goes through phases and it sounds like that is what is happening. She could be ready to go through a growth spurt. Don't worry too much - as long as she is growing, she is fine.

I did not like my kids snacking all day, so I would have them sit while they ate (snacks and meals). Once they wanted to get up, the food was taken away until the next time to eat. Put food on a plate, vs. just walking around eating it. Then you can tell how much she is eating and she is learning appropriate table manners. Instead of giving her snack food, think of the snacks as mini-meals and give her a few choices - protein, veggies, etc.

I also totally agree with you about the juice - waste of calories and fills their wee tummies. Stick with water or milk 1/2 way through the meal or even wait until she has eaten.

Good luck!

I agree with Stephanie, don't let her snack all day, and this sounds like normal behavior. A lot of kids around this age will be difficult in one way or another with eating and/or sleeping. If she comes into your room, take her back to her bed. Kiss her, reassure her that you are there, and leave. Do this every time she tries to come sleep in your room. It may take a little while, and there may be some frustrating nights as she fights to have her own way, but she can learn to sleep in her bed and not yours. (I did the same thing when I was her age, and this is what my Mom and Dad did for me. It worked.)

For eating, same thing. She's testing boundaries, trying to get her own way, eat when she wants and what she wants. As Stephanie says, a snack mid morning and maybe one mid-afternoon is fine; a banana, an apple, some fruit, a couple crackers– something healthy. Again, I did this same thing, and I was given a few pieces of fruit (fresh or dried) and a couple crackers, and that was it for my snack. It didn't matter how many times I said I was hungry after that, my Mom was firm that I had to wait until mealtime.

Kids push boundaries all the time; just stay firm and hang in there! You're doing great! I hope this gets easier soon!

God bless!
M.

I only have a suggestion that if she is drinking out of a sippy cup move her up to a regular cup. If she does still drink from a sippy cup moving her to a regular cup will cut down on her drinking and usually the appetite will return. Best of luck & God Bless

Ok sounds like a normal 3yr old behavior, first thing do not let her snack all day, a couple of times day give her a healthy snack, like a banana or something in that matter, do not feed her a snack right before lunch or dinner, your doing the right thing on cutting back on the drinks. Before she goes to sleep you might want to make sure she has had enough to eat, because this sounds like what is not making her sleep well, just make sure that she eats dinner two hours before bedtime, so the food can digest. I wish you good luck.

All of these responses are great. I have read and watch many things on this because my daughter is the same way. She just turned four and I have had problems for the last year or so getting her to eat well. Everything I've read/watched said that they will eat when they are hungry, in many instances they are trying to exert control over their lives. One thing that they can actually control is what they put in their mouths whereas they have little to no control over anything else in their lives. Provide her with healthy snacks, limiting sweets (which I have problems with lol!). While juice is empty calories, I do let my daughter have a limit of two cups a day, usually when we are going out places. I always use 100% juice and water it down so that she's not getting so much sugar and empty calories. If you keep consistent with her eating schedule it will help. Also something that I noticed helps my daughter eat a better dinner at night is to have my husband sit and eat at the table with us. My husband used to sit down in front of the TV to eat, which made my daughter think she needed to do the same thing. Well doing that would distract her, causing her dinner to take 1-2 hours to eat and she wouldn't usually eat it all. Lately we've been all eating at the table and it makes for a much more pleasant dinner time! Anyway, just some hints that I've been using to get my picky eater to eat better, hope they help!

I think you just wrote about my daughter, exactly. Maybe it really just a 3 year old thing? Not sure, but will be interested in reading your responces.

This all sounds familiar to me! I hate to say it, but it sounds like there may be a power struggle going on here. We went through this for a bit with my son. He's also very thin, so we were concerned about him getting enough nutrients, etc. After talking with our pediatrician and parents-as-teachers representative (local school district representative), we decided to just trust our son. We provide him the structure of 3 meals and 2 snacks a day and what he eats within those times is what he eats. There's no bargaining. While I make sure I provide him with options I know he will like, I also give limited choices like "Do you want an apple or banana?" This gives him the control he craves as well as nutritional options. Some days he eats more, others less. But overall it has improved and he actually started growing more when we went to this method.

As for the getting up at night, our daughter went through this when we went to table food. For a few weeks we were really concerned (and tired!) but then our pediatrician did an intake of our lifestyle and suggested that our daughter was not getting enough protein. We started adding more protein to each meal and within 2 days she started sleeping through the night again. This is just a thought that you may want to explore based on your own experience with your daughter.

It's so hard, though, I know. We really did struggle with this. Hang in there and I hope that things improve.

kida at 2 or 3 seem to eat so little.. the dr. always says they will eat when they are hungry.. they won't starve. have some snacks around like cut up grapes, strawberries, cheese, even peas are a good snack and maybe cheerios and or goldfish.. but only a small amt. of the fun food. tell her she could have a goldfish but eat a piece of grape first. as for sleeping try laying down next to her bed until she falls asleep... or play some soft music in her room.. my kids love music on when they fall asleep.. i put the clock radio on for about 45 minutes... with soft music.. this may help too. maybe try a new pillow.. maybe a softer blanket... i change pillow often.. they get flat.. you can pick them up at Walmart and sears for less than 10 dollars.. maybe this will help.. maybe she wants a doll to sleep next to.. or a stuffed animal... maybe bring her to the store and tell her to pick a stuffed animal to sleep with at night.. soft a cuddly and cute will help. good luck-- and she will start eating .. don't get upset.. just make sure she gets milk.. and fruit and veggies.

I am having similar issues with my almost 4yr old daughter and my Parents as Teacher rep suggested the books by Ellyn Satter's How to feed Your Child But not Too Much and Secrets of a Healthy Family (that title may have more words but that's most of it). In a nutshell her philosophy is you are in charge of what is offered she is in charge of what she eats so offer but don't force or struggle. I got them at the library. Good luck

The only thing I have to add is get your daughter involved in making meals. I started involving my son in cooking at 1 year old. At 3 1/2 I had him convinced that he could make chili much better than I could. If he made it he ate it much better. Mixing with a spoon, helping measure, and pouring ingrediants are all things that 3 years old and younger can handle. Two healthy snacks a day are great. As you already know, nutrition wise juice is not as good as fruit. Personally, my kids rarely drink juice.

Does she have any digestive problems? Even if she doesn't, there may be food allergies at work. My DD had similar issues, especially the sleep disturbance (which turned out to be from reflux, which was a symptom of the food allergy; in our case, a gluten intolerance). My friends dd has the gluten intolerance also and hates eating, especially big meals because she associated it with pain prior to going on a gluten-free diet. You might want to see a dietitian who can help you make sure your daughter gets the nutrition she needs, but can also help you test for food allergies.

Good luck!

I have read much about this and the best advice I have seen is to give her the foods (not necessarily snacks) she likes, but to introduce new foods to her at one meal each day. For instance, if you want her to eat green beans, give her a few at a time and hopefully she will develop a taste for them. Start with small portions and keep encouraging her to taste whatever you are introducing. I wouldn't worry about the fact that she is thin just as long as she is getting nourishment. I would not let her snack all day, though; work with her to teach her to eat at meal time with the family.