Hi everyone....need some help. My daughter is 3 and has been going to the same daycare since she was 6 weeks old. Every morning for the past week she has cried from the time we leave until I pick her up in the afternoons (per daycare). She has recently been sick (bacteria in her urine) and is on antibiotics. The antibiotics are hurting her stomach....she's not eating and she's having at least 3-4 BM's a day. I left a message with the nurse at the doc's office and told them what was going on, but they didn't call back today. I'm not giving her her ABT tonight or in the morning. But now she's crying at night telling me she doesn't want to go to school. When I ask her why, all she says is "i'm going to miss you" or "I love you". Sometimes she will tell me school is not fun, but she won't tell me why it's not fun. then she cries for a good 15 minutes. and she does all this while sitting on the potty cause she says she has to poop. I don't know what to do about the whole daycare situation. Sometimes she will start crying for no reason and when I ask her what's wrong, she cries harder and says "I love you". Any suggestions as to what to do? Thanks!
Hi everyone! Just wanted to let everyone know that everything has worked out great now! We decided to go ahead and move her to Little Harding (she was going to start there in the fall), and we have had no problems since! She loves it there and I can see a huge difference in her personality! Thanks for all your advice and support!
I suspect the antibiotics are causing this problem. I would suggest trying a different antibiotic and also trying probiotics, as other moms have suggested, to help her stomach feel better.
Good luck!
Hi A.,
My soon to be 3 year old is EXACTLY the same way when he is not feeling well. He fusses at daycare, complains that he doesn't want to go, that he misses me and wants to go to grandmas house, etc. He also does the "Don't leave me mommy!" (which tears my heart out) bit as well. I get all concerned, and when he is feeling better, he is completely over it. He wants to go to "big boy school", even on the weekends, and says he misses his friends. I wouldn't worry too much right now. The true test will be when she is feeling better if this is still an issue. Then I would be more concerned that there is something going on at daycare.
My child did this exact same thing this time last year (she was getting ready to turn 4). She had actually fallen on the playground at school which caused a urinary obstruction (although we didn't know at the time that was what was causing it) and had an overnight stay in the hospital. It burned when she peed and the meds made her poop way more. I did speak with the day care teachers just to be on the safe side, but no one knew of anything unusual that would cause her to "not want" to go to school. It sounds like your daughter is similar. She probably just doesn't feel well yet and would rather be at home with the stomach ache and frequent pooping. I know how tough it is to juggle work and kids, and believe me I have certainly sent my child to day care and worried all day if I made the right choice that day! I think if you or another family member or close friend could keep her either at your home or theirs until she's back to normal then her day care attitude will get back to normal too. If you have been sending her there since she was a baby you obviously would know if there was anything wrong. Good luck!!
As far as her stomach goes, she may need to take a probiotic while she is on the antibiotic. We used FloraQ...it's a capsule you can get at a Walgreen's pharmacy (it's OTC though). I opened up the capsule and put ~1/2 in my son's yogurt or applesauce, etc. It REALLY helped him.
is their a new teacher in her room or did she just change rooms? if so she could just be clashing with a teacher. if not then i would say talk to the director something is deff not right about this!
It is probably developmental stage and will pass. My daughter did the same thing, did not want to be dropped off at the place she had been going for almost 2 years.
Extend to her extra hugs & understanding. Take a few minutes extra to help her adjust, but be firm that she needs to go (if this is the case). Reassure her that you will spend time with her as soon as you pick her up.
Antibiotics are harsh! I recommended giving her a pro-biotic opposite the anti-biotic schedule. (3 hours or so after) to help replenish the flora in her intestines. Give the anti-biotic after a meal so there is food on her stomach. You can get a chewable pro-biotic from GNC/health food store/ whole foods etc...
Be patient with her. This is likely just a phase and she will sort herself out in time.
P. : )
Personally, I would be worried. I have a huge issue with day care - they don't give the time kids need to each kid. My daughter is 1 year and I am having a hard time coping w/ many issues at day care.
If you can, I would take a day and stay with her at day care and see what goes on. If your day care has video, see if you can observe (without her teachers or her knowing - maybe just arrange it with the director that day) to see how her day is.
It could just be that she doesn't feel well and needs extra comfort from you - but it could also be another issue with a kid at day care or a teacher that she is not agreeing with.
She may feel hurt that you are leaving her there as she doesn't understand why you have to work. It's really tough on them (as it is you). I am working through some issues of my own right now, so I know what you are feeling. You just have to make the best decision for yourself, your daughter, your family. Do what you feel is right.
Take off work early, take a half day off of work, or take a long lunch and drop in on the daycare and make sure you like what you see when they don't expect you to be there. When my second child was less than a year old I dropped in one day and found him crying in the floor all by himself. Drop in when they don't expect you. Keep encouraging your daughter to explain to you what she doesn't like at daycare.
Have you spoken with the day care providers? Do you have any options other than day care? Has anything else changed at home that would cause her to be anxious to be away from you? I would speak with the pediatrician also. I would give her extra hugs and love and reassurance. Sometimes at this age kids are really struggling with getting bigger but still wanting to be a baby.
I would talk to the school to see if there has been any changes that would affect her. I would speak with the teacher and the director. I would also talk to my child about their day to find out if anything out of the ordinary is going on.
Also with her being sick, she might just want mommy. No one can comfort our child better than we can.
Hi. I'm just wondering if this worked itself out? Was it the tummy ache or something at the daycare? If the daycare option isn't working out, you could try an Au Pair? These are young women from other countries who come to the US and stay in your home and look after your child, usually for about 12 months but up to 2 years. It's a great cultural experience for the family and much more affordable than nannies. It offers the intimacy of in-home care your daughter may like better than going out to daycare. Plus there are less illnesses to worry about and you don't have to rush to pick up at 5. If you are interested, check out www.aupaircare.com Hope things are ok now!! Just thought I'd mention it in case you are still having trouble.
I have a 4 year son and when he was two i had in a preschool. He did fine for few months then the director left the shcool and he started crying when we dropped him off and said he did not like it. Then he started saying things like he wants to take his picture naked on the fourwheeler. This scared me so I took him out and talked to the school. With you daughter being sick with bacteria in her urine would make me thing that something is not right at the daycare. Plus if she is that stressed she could become constipated as my son went through that as well. I would talk to the school and maybe even have her checked by the ped. if she don't get better. You could also ask other parents of kids in the daycare if there kids have acted different. Hope she is ok and will keep you all in my prays.
Maybe she feels embarassed having to poop so much at daycare? Maybe she is getting teased? Can you stay home with her if she is not feeling well for a day or so until she has regular bowel movements?
A.-
As a working mom, I feel your pain!! I, too, have struggled with the juggle of work and family, especially those times when a child is only a little sick and you really feel torn about what to do! And, those little boogers can sure make you feel guilty when you do!
Anyway, my gut on this one is that nothing is is wrong at school, except that your daughter doesn't feel 'herself' yet. If you can, see if you can take an extra day or two off or if there is someone else she can stay with (like grandparents, etc), then maybe a more home-like environment would be good for a day or so. I'd keep her on the antibiotics and make sure she gets good bacteria, like yogurt to help regulate her little tummy.
My 5yo has done the same thing to me. it is always when he's not well that he doesn't want to go and I feel like a heel for sending him.
Good luck!!!
As a mother, Something just doesn't seem right. I would be extremely concerned. Trust your instincts. If you feel that something's not right then it most likely isn't. Something had to have caused this sudden change about her school. I can understand getting out of the routine can disrupt things. But I would think if that were the case it would only be in the mornings when you took her to school. My instincts would say SOMETHING IS WRONG! As I am typing this the hairs on my arm are standing up and I have the goosebumps. That is my instincts I would definitely be looking into this in more depth. I hope it turns out to be nothing. I just have a serious feeling that you need to get more information. Good Luck.
You need to observe the daycare during the day. Drop in unannounced several times over a few weeks. Also, for perspective, tour some other daycares. Don't forget church childcare ministrys. They can be a hidden gem. We love ours.
Hang in there. There were many days my son fussed a lot about school. I followed my own advice and came to the conclusion that it was him. I made sure he got enough sleep and excersize. I gave him more one-on-one time at home. With time, he began to love school again.
As for the tummy ache, you should get her yogurt with probiotics in it. Antibiotics can wreak havoc on the digestive system. I'm a former daycare provider and it may be that with her tummy ache, she is not comfortable nor able to have fun, thus making her daily experience unbearable. Who wants to be around a bunch of kids all day when you don't feel good. We feel the same way when we're sick, she just can't relay it to you. See if you can take a day or two off, preferably before the weekend, so you'll get at least 3-4 days with her. Make her feel special and loved! You should also look into the daycare and see if there have been any new changes (teachers, students, routine etc. Just don't jump to conclusions or make any accusatory statements to your provider. Hope this helps.
A.,I am a Daycare Director and a former teacher of young children.Perhaps your daughter could pick something from home to carry to preschool that belongs to you. A photo of you or a special toy that was yours as a small child.Always reasure her that you will return to pick her up from school.Children need to feel secure just like adults.Good teachers of young children can help in this situation by getting involved and doing special activities with her.Perhaps you can call her during the day and talk with her briefly which should help her to feel more secure.
Have you asked her daycare providers how your daughter reacts once you drop her off? Does she cry after you leave? Has her attitude changed? You will get a better response if you ask them non-accusatory questions... instead of straight out asking if something has happened with your daughter. My daughter used to cry and fuss when I dropped her off, wave from the window bawling, but them turn back from the window and get down to some serious and fun playtime. Manipulation at it's best ; ). I think separation anxiety is normal at different stages of a child's life. I found these great books that told you what was happening in your child's life during their specific age.
As far as the antibiotics, they should be eaten with food, and it is normal for them to cause stomach upset. I would make sure that she get plenty of water and bread when she is taking the meds. That might help.
Good Luck!
