3 Year Old Cries and Whines a Lot

Tis' the age.

TEACH him, how to say things, and how to speak up, and how to use his WORDS.
Teach him the names for feelings and the sentences to say it.
"I am sad."
I am happy
I am grumpy
I don't want to share
I am tired
I want to stop
I want to go home
I don't want to play
I want to stay
I am hungry
I want to take a break
I want to play
etc.

Teach him, to say... things. Not whine.
Tis' the age.
They start to 'whine' at this age.

But in addition to teaching him how to say his words and names for feelings and sentences he can say, you need to PRACTICE it with him. Role-play it.

Like a rock collecting moss, it can take time.
A kid does not automatically 'know' how to communicate.

It is also okay to cry.
Boys especially, need to learn this. So that in the future they do not get all pent up... and then stop saying how they feel.
Tell your son, Its okay to cry... THEN, REDIRECT him... and teach him coping skills. Other ways of 'reacting' to situations. Make it fun.
ie: Tell him and acknowledge that something is 'frustrating'... THEN what can you do instead? ie: you can laugh, make a joke about it, try it a different way, figure out different ways to do something etc.
Because, everything in this world, can be done in many different ways.
So, he is fine. Just give him 'skills' to look at things differently and then to TRY it. Because it is fun.

you have two choices: you can ride it out....or you can take charge!

I always prefer to take charge of this issue....simply because, with a little bit of diligence & persistence, it can be easily turned around. As soon as the whining starts, drop down to eye level & clearly state, "whoa, wait a minute! I need you to speak in your big boy voice. When you can do that for me, then we can ...." If the whining continues, then use time-out or quiet time until your child decides to comply. A few rounds of this & usually the problem is gone!

& as a heads-up, in my daycare, I use this as early as communication begins! I have 2 18month old boys who KNOW that when I say, "when you can stop crying for me, then we will talk".....they know that I mean business & that I will follow thru on my promise to talk about whatever's bothering them. One of them actually puts himself in the time-out seat to calm himself, then he walks to me, & we discuss what happened. Phenomenal self-soothing skills!! & this is a child who's not talking yet.....he has excellent comprehension skills. I think we'll be in a world of trouble when he finally starts talking!

Oh, & boys usually cry until age 10-12! Nip it in the bud now.....

Dr Sears has some excellent advice for teaching kids to have more self-confidence and such. There is a self-confident link in this list:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

Also, scroll down to the bothersome behavior and click on the whining link.

lol i wish i knew the answer. because mine is 4 almost 5 next month and he is still a HHUUGGGEEE whiner. and every phrase that S.H. suggested( and that is a great suggestion to teach them that) he knows and is still a whiner. Ok let me be honest, my son is a whiner and a crybaby. and he doesn't have to be but i really don't know what to do. but i have resorted to telling him if you can't talk to me without whiney then we can't talk. period. and usually he stops and takes a deep breath and starts over.but sometimes he doesn't and sometimes i just put him in his room until he can get himself together. it might not be the best solution but for right now it works for me. i think some children are just whiners. it is what it is. best of luck to you!

I have a 3 year old and a 4 year old girl. Both are pretty strong and tough and assertive. I have always encouraged them to defend themselves and I work on teaching them what to do when someone is not nice or takes a toy etc. I teach them to assertively tell the other kid "no, that's not ok" or something like that. I never tell them to just give in or let kids take their toys etc. I have a couple of friends who have over done it on "making their kids be nice and not be bullies" to the point where their kids are total victims. Not a safe situation for the kid - you won't always be there to make sure they don't get hurt!
As far as the whiney/crying thing, my 3 year old does the exact same thing on her bike constantly. It's a work in progress! I alternate between being calm, cool and collected and very patient and encouraging and then getting mad and demanding it stop! All I can say is good luck with this! It'll pass...:-)