I recently tried to leave my son at preschool and it was horrible. For about a year, I have been checking out different preschools and when I found one that felt right, I took my son there and stayed the first 2 times. Then I tried leaving but stayed in the front just in case where he couldn't see me and he freaked out, sobbing,begging, hyperventilating, etc. I tried again the next day and same thing, but worse. Anyway, to make a long story short, at the suggestion of the school director, I talked to his pediatrician and she said that as long as he is fine when being babysat by his dad or grandma, then he is fine and to just wait with preschool. BUT now, since the preschool incident, he freaks out when I attempt to leave anywhere! He will play with my mom or husband as long as I am in the house. Has anyone had any experience with this?
I know it's the norm to put kids in preschool, but I think 3 is way too young. They still need Mommy all day, and you can teach them what they would learn in preschool anyway. I don't think most kids are emotionally ready for school until they are ready for Kindergarden.
lots of breaths - it's perfectly okay for him to not be ready to seperate, check out our preschool which is parent participation
rosevillecommunitypreschool.org
From my experience with children I would say smother him with love,instruction,and time. If you are always available for your child,constantly telling him what to do and where to put his things, how to wash his own dishes,having him help you feed the cat and put the bag away correctly,water the plants and roll the hose up the right way,reading stories,cooking and cleaning up properly together he will gain confidence and also a sense of self. If your child feels that you are always there for him and that you have a high expectation of him, I think he will begin to feel a natural separation from you.
It will take time and alot of patience but I really do think this is the best way to deal with preschool separation anxiety.
Hi Sunshine, I have a 4 year old. He is an only child also. We tried preschool last spring and it was clear the second day that he wasn't ready. We tried again last August and we had a rough first week, but we stuck it out and now he absolutely loves it. I don't know what area you are in but my son goes to Center Parent Co-op preschool in Antelope. It is only three hours a day, and parents volunteer one or two days a week. Sometimes it takes a week or so to get over the anxiety. It helps to start the preschool at the begining of the school year. That way all the kids are starting fresh. I hope this helps some. A.
Sorry no experience or advice. I am just interested in your name. Is it your birth name? Mine is!
S.
Hi there, I have been working on the same issue with my son, who will be 3 in May. We are trying a co-op preschool to help him transition away from me, but allow him some social time with other kids (no siblings in our house, no neighbor kids either) & other adults (we also only do family daycare--dad or grandma/grandpa). So far for us it is working OK, he only goes to preschool when I am working (started one day a week, now doing 2 days a week). It is slowly working, but this for us seems like a good alternative to dropping him off without a familiar caretaker.
Where do you live? You can check in your area to see if you have similar programs. I checked with my local school districts, & found one that is one district over from me.
Feel free to email me if you want more info...hope this helps! Like the other post says, you may have an easier time when he's a bit older...
I have a 3 year son who will be four in May. He is very outgoing and friendly, we never had any problems with him at all. Until, my husband and I decided to take a cruise.
I homeschool so he is with me and his brothers all day, but we are very active in our church and he has no problems going to "class" at church by himself. No crying, just runs off to class and does great. So we figured when we were going to leave for a week he would be fine. We found several homes for him to visit while we were gone. These were all children and adults that he knew very well, not strangers at all and he was very excited about it. He couldn't wait for us to leave.
Well, he cried every day while we were gone. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, cried at church, cried all the time. The only time he stopped was when he went to a friend's house where one of his brothers was staying also. When he had his brother with him he was okay. He stayed there the last three days and was able to eat and sleep.
My point in telling you this is to say that your son is simply not ready. If you don't absolutely have to leave him in preschool, then don't! He needs mom. Next year when he's 4, almost 5 he'll probably be ready. He'll be better equipped to deal with a day without you in the company of non-family members. But if you push it now you may have the opposite effect and cause him a lot of emotional trauma.
When we returned from our cruise my son was very clingy, which as I said isn't like him at all. He was like this for about 3 weeks. He didn't want to go to church, he spoke constantly of not wanting to go to his friend's houses anymore. He followed me when I left the room and would cry if I left him with his dad while I went to the store.
As much as I could I let him be with me. I held him more and told him every time he mentioned it (up to 100 times a day) that he didn't have to go to his friend's house if he didn't want to, but if he ever did go again mom would always come back to get him. I would never leave him forever. He slowly became his old self. After two weeks he didn't cry when he went to class at church, now I can go to the store by myself without incident.
I would recommend just loving on your son. Let him be with you. If he freaks out when you try to leave (as my son did) then take him with you as much as possible. Give him 10 goodbye hugs whenever you do leave him and tell him a thousand times a day that you will never leave him for forever. He will be his old self again in no time.
God bless you and your family.
You'll just have to work him through it -- he'll get over this phase. I remember trying my daughter (my 2nd child) in preschool at 3 (I really needed the break!) and she cried the whole time I was gone so I had to give the idea up for another year or so. Fortunately I didn't work so that was not a problem. At 4 she was ready for preschool and I found one that was a co-op so I was occasionally present during her preschool day. (Plus it was a great community experience.)_
I had something similar with my son. We attempted to send him to preschool and it was a disaster. He was 3.5 at the time. We waited another year until 4.5 and did wonderfully! Not a single problem and he'll be five in just a few weeks. What a difference that year made. My son was just not emotionally ready to say goodbye.
About Me:
Married commuter couple (husbands works/lives in bay part time), stay at home Mom of two. A nearly 5 year old boy who is in school full time, and a nearly three year old girl.
