My son is new to the daycare system, He has been such a good kid and had never gotten anything but good jobs and such from his teachers. The other day the teacher told me that he had been hanging around a child that had problems in the past. My son ahd been following his lead and getting in to trouble. I dont really know if telling my son not to hang around this other child is the right answer. Should I just let the teachers handle it???
ur son is old enough to understand what ur saying so explain to him that the other child has bad behavior and that being bad like his friend is could get him in alot of trouble with the teacher and u.Tell him that he should show his friend how to be good like he is so that they can continue playing together. Also tell him that if he doesnt stop acting like his friend that u will remove him from that class (even though ur not).
Don't threaten anything that you're not willing to follow through with. Your son will test you, and if you don't follow through he will figure out that you don't mean what you say and lose respect for you.
If your rules carry no consiquenses, then he will have no insentive to obey them.
You may want to discuss options with your day care teacher, but you dont need to ignore it because it more than likely wont go away. Find ways to show him that this behavior is not appropriate. Try a behavior system for him. If he has too many misbehaviors at the daycare then he loses privaleges at home and vice versa. THere are many books out there with behavior plans that are excellent. For his age I would start with something like 5 stars (colors, or something he can see and touch) Each time he acts out or follows this other childs behavior his teacher should make him take one star away or she should make him watch her take one away. The first one if a free token, but have certain methods in place for how many he loses each day that you are comfortable with and that will work for your three year old. Make sure he understands this method.
R.,
When my now 11 year old was in day care, I had that same problem. I told her that her friend was getting into alot of trouble and that if she kept doing the same things he was that she would be in trouble too. I also let her know that she would be in more trouble when and if it happened again. Afterwards, I followed through with my plan. When she got in trouble the next few times, she got it again at home. She learned that there are consequenses .
I agree... my son is three and he's old enough that I would tell him what's expected of him and that because his friend misbehaves it doesn't mean he can. Let him know that you talk with his teachers and that he'll be rewarded for good behavior when he gets home and/or punished for bad behavior (recently when I ask my three year old to stop doing something he actually asks me... "can I do it when you're not here?"!). You can talk to him about showing his friend how to behave the right way.
NEVER leave any part of your child's rearing solely up to ANYONE else. The teacher will handle her part at school, but you are Mommy and you still need to acknowledge your baby's wrong doings at home. A teacher can only do so much, but Mommy can be way more effective!!! Listen, I know exactly what you are going thru. My 5 year old started kindergarten this year and was never really in daycare too much before that. Boy or boy did we have a serious adjustment period that is really just ending. I had to start spanking my son with a belt and I still cry afterwards (not in front of him of course). I'm definitely not saying that a baby that age needs a belt, but you have to find whatever method works on your child. God bless you...Pray for patience, LOL!!! You're gonna need it.
You know if your child is able to understand what you are saying. If he is, then I would talk to him very calmly, and tell him that just because his friend is doing something unacceptable does not mean that he can.
M.
