3 Year Old Afraid of Monsters...

H.,

Yes, get a nightlight BUT take your son and let him pick them out. I took my son shopping when he started having 'dark at night' issues, and we bought flashlights, nightlights and glow in the dark universe shapes. Then, we had a party at night before dinner and he showed me where to put the nightlights and flashlights and we put the flow in the dark shapes all over the place. Very fun! We came up with a song and dance to chase away the dark, and then at night before bed we'd do a 'dark check' for shadows and such...this was SO awesome and fun for both of us. After a couple of weeks, he stopped wanting to do the check totally but, some night he still does.

Just make it fun, and make it about him! I doubt this is some kind of ploy to get into your bed, but all the same keep him in charge of this and he'll feel like he's big boy.

As for the baby, just make sure he knows how special it is to be a big brother and that he's the best big brother ever! Keep him involved and he's less likely to act out or do silly things to get your attention away from the baby.

Good Luck!

Hi H., at 3 years this could be because he wants the added attention now that there is a new Baby in the house, which is completely normal, it also can be a ploy to get into your bed at night, the last thing you want to do is cater to those fears, if you do he will see a reason to be afraid, so each night before he goes to bed and before you do his bed time routine, search for the monsters, ask him where they usually hang out, closet, under the bed, use a flashlight so he can see that there is nothing there, and defenilty have a night light on, we always had a fish aquarium in our kids rooms with a blue this is very soothing, and you can tell him that monsters are afraid of fish. If he does wake up and tells you he is scared, you'll be able to tell if it's really fear, because think about it, you thought there was a monster or any kind of threat would you get out of bed and walk around? One of my daycare children also 3,a little girl starting fearing a big bad bear, and when she would talk about it, it was the same sort each time so she wasn't making up something different for attention, and she never got out of bed, she called her mom from her bed, cause she was afraid if she got up the big bad bear would get her, this started when her mom and dad divorced, so with kids you never know, but don't let a habit start of him coming in your bed, it will be one of the hardest things you will ever have to break if you do. Well i pray it all works out with your little guy. J.

You can get really creative w/ this one. You can create monster catcher. You can talk to the monster. You can be a silly goof and dance w/ the monster. You can get a book about fun, crazy monsters. The important thing is that your teaching your child how to handle his fears. He can count on you, but then he can also do x,y & z to handle the "created fear." It is a phase. Around 3/4 kids become very aware of fears (being sucked down the toilet was mine: ) and its a part of them become aware of being fearful and taught how to cope. Validate being afraid and then minimize the focus of the fear.

Best to you, I'll be handling this in a few months.

Jen

It is very common for 3 year olds to be a afraid of monsters so you would probably be dealing with monsters anyway, with or without your new baby. We briefly went through this stage with our two children not too long ago and what helped me was, starting from a very early age, is making all things having to do with Halloween and monsters cool and fun, not scary. There's a very good Disney Haunted House Sing-Along video that may still be on the market through Amazon (we got ours at Babies R' Us) that is fun to watch and not at all scary since it has Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck in it.

I've also been known to respond to my children's proclamations about being afraid of monsters with things like, "We eat monsters for breakfast!" or being honest and telling my children that monsters are not real, they're just a make believe story. And then, there's been a handful of times that I have had to take things a step further and spray perfume around their bedroom and on their bed, explaining to them that it is actually monster repellent (thank God they haven't figured out how contradictory I can be at times!). Hopefully this will give you some ideas on how to handle your son's newfound fear of monsters.

Good luck.

I have 2 suggestions:

#1. Get the book "There's A Monster At The End Of This Book". It is a Sesame Street book with Grover on the front. Sesame Street has "monsters" and so when my daughter talks about them I tell her that they are not scary, they are just like Elmo and Zoe, etc. Just tell your son that monsters don't have to be scary.

#2. I got my daughter a rock light and it is very soothing. (I got one for me too) It has a very soft glow so its not very bright in the room. She absoulutely loves it. You could tell your son he will be safe with it. I bought one in Fresno at the fair and one in Boulder City (just outside of Vegas) so I am sure you could find one in your area. If not, here is a website that will tell you all about them:

http://www.crystalrocksaltlamp.com/

It describes these lamps as "Air Ionizer that is Calming, Relaxing, Theraputic and a unique work of art: made from rock salt created over millions of years"

Good Luck, I am sure it is just a phase!

Hi. My daughter is 4 and has had a few problems with this. Like the other mom said, there are lots of things you can do to be creative about it. You could even get a squirt bottle and put water in it and he can squirt the monster away. My daughter still has to have her closet door closed and the bedroom door open. At this age, they have a very big imagination. I don't know if you are religious or not, but my daughter loves the veggie tales dvd "Where's God when I'm scared", and it has a song in it called "God is bigger than the boogie man". SHE LOVES IT! I sometimes can hear her singing it in her room. Anyway, I hope I helped a little.

There is a lot of stuff in the world a 3-year-old just doesn't understand and that can be scary. I remember when my son first picked up on the sound of the helicopter. He would point up with this wide-eyed look on his face and said the word "monster" I don't even know where he learned the word but he had the idea in his head. This probably has a lot to do with the new baby, he fears being replaced. Make sure you give him a lot of attention as the "big brother" and teach him what a super-hero big brother he can be! The baby makes him more special, not less special.

H.,
I have a 4 yr old boy, and it's just a phase! trust me he is just going through it. there isn't much you can do, what i did with my son when he went through that before he went to bed i told him that me and daddy were going to check the room and he could with us, and we would look under the bed and in the closest and than he could see no monsters in his room. that seemed to work.
He would get scared after going with his uncles and they watched a scary movie, or played a scary video game so just try and make sure he isn't watching anything that isn't age Appropriate for him and everything should be better.
Mine is almost 5 now and he is still a lil scared but he is doing better, He still scared of the dark. But he should fade out of it soon. the checks helps alot.
As far as the big brother being jelous it seems that it takes part in all childern when we braught home lil dani mari was so jelous always trying to get are attention, what seemed to help was when we included him the diaper changes, feedings, and any other activities and he got over it fine. I do not think the new baby has anything to do with "dark issues" i think it's just that stage. GOOD LUCK