My 3-year-old plays weapons, guns, etc. all day with any object he can find (such as a dispenser part of a soap bottle). He yells horrible things at his sister (like he'll leave her behind in the road) and sometimes whacks her with an object when he gets too into his game. He is constantly making her afraid. She is 2.
He watches 2 hrs. of tv a day (gentle, preschool stuff like Sprout only). When that's up he bounces off the walls with weapons, usually begging for tv every 20 minutes. Even at public play areas he gets too active with his hands. If another kid pushes, my son gets so excited and ends up hurting someone. He loves to play "bad guys." He does not usually start the pushing. He gets too wound up at preschool too with other boys and they have to calm him down.
I just gave him a time-out and he peed his pants. He NEVER wets. He was playfully poking sister with a sharp wooden rod from a toy, that is now in the trash!
He is no fun to be around. Is this normal?
The best thing I can tell you is that entertain, entertain, entertain. I work with kids his age very aggressive and active and we have to really give them all are attention. If not he's going through a faze right now. :)
Well you have several things happening here:
obsession with weapons and a little agression.
hyperactive behavior
Obsession with t.v
Maybe you need professional intervention, but I would start with simple changes at home. Even though he is no fun to be around he needs to get a lot of positive attention. He needs individual time with you.
I know boys like guns but the truth is they had to be introduced to guns somewhere. I think you need to tone down the gun play, since he tends to be aggressive towards his sister. No play with weapons imaginary or real until you have a better control of his behavior and he has more self control. I don't allow any toy weapons in my home b/c I know my child. For example last halloween we went to target and he took up sword and immediately he was hitting me, kicking and flying all over the place, totally wild.
To burn energy he needs to play so allow for that too but in a safe way. If he likes to run let him run. When you take him out give gentle reminders before play, such "be gentle with the small kids", "keeps your hands to yourself".
Find periods of calm. Find out what makes him relaxed - other than t.v. I find reading to be best thing to help my son relax. He will have you read all the books on his shelf while cuddling him. Make him take quiet time with relaxing music. I help my son take quiet time with a book on tape or music c.d and he can set this up himself. You can check these out from your local library if your town has one.
I think he wants t.v so much because he is not otherwise occupied enough. Since he is only three you will have to find creative things for him to do. Sometimes when t.v time is over for my son he'll ask "now what". I say play with your building blocks or play with your trucks or go take quiet time if it's that time of day.
Good luck. I know you have your hands full but take time with him so you can find out the reason behind his behavior.
No. You need to take control as the parent and learn what a time-out chair is for. you don't take no for an answer either. If he gets up, you put him back. You continue to put him back until he sits there 1 minute for every age although at 3, I wouldn't worry about going for 4 minutes vs 3 minutes.
Don't yell, scream, or lose your temper because that just let's him know he's got to you. keep sitting his butt back in his time-out chair in the same P. each time he misbehaves. Also consider taking away the toys and the tv for a while to see if that helps. Cut sugar completely from his diet as well as any caffeinated drinks - especially juice boxes. I know it's expensive but get the not-from-concentrate kind and/or unsweetened orange juice or apple juice.
This behavior is as bad as it is because it has been allowed to go on for so long. My oldest went through this until I came into the picture, put her dad out of the picture when it came to discipline and within 3-4 days she was straight. Same thing occurred with our youngest. Within 3-5 days, she was straightened out until she went to Granny's house and then I cut out going to Granny's house until Granny learned the new rules. She wasn't getting what she wanted just because she wanted it and threw a temper tantrum to get it. No more toys just for behaving when out in public. I'd tear up a rear-end whereas Granny and Daddy tried to buy their way into her behaving, which didn't work and only made it worse.
It's time to take control of the situation. You are the parent; your child is the child. Now go be the parent.
In the words of the woman who I knew as Mom even though she wasn't my mom but was the closest thing I had to a real mom, "Parenting is not a popularity contest. You cannot be your child's best friend and be a parent at the same time. You have to make a stand & your will must be stronger than the child's even if it takes hours to accomplish your goal, don't give up because every time you give up, the child wins what he/she wants and that's to get away with whatever they are trying to get away with and that goes for practically everything.."
One more thing. Remember it's easy to do this now when he's 3 than to attempt it when he's 13 years old, probably bigger than you, and tries to take a swing at you when you try to discipline him. Stop it now and nip it in the bud so it doesn't come back to bite you later.
My son and a bunch of my friend's sons were all the same until he/they got into sports. I did not allow any guns, real or very fake looking. No war/gun/police shows, but there he was playing guns with everything in sight. My friend's son actually even ate his toast into gun shapes. I think there must be something in the genes (jeans). LOL! I agree with keeping your boy active and don't give in. I finally gave in at age 9 and allowed my brother to buy him a marshmallow shooter. It lasted until baseball season. Then it was "gone."
Just keep up the good work. Keep him busy and be consistent.
S.
I would not let him hit or yell bad things to his sister or anyone else. Don't let him terrorize your little girl. She needs your protection. He values TV, so he'll get TV when he earns it with good behavior. If he turns anything into a weapon, take the hard stuff away and get lots of soft stuff - stuffed animals, nerf foam things, etc. Run him around, get him a baby trampoline, find ways to burn his energy off in non violent ways.
Here's some links on that:
http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=679
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&a...=
You need Babycalm. Look for it online. There are several distributors.
Oh boy, I just came to the site to vent about the same issue. My 3 and a half yr old son is also having the same types of behaviors, you're not alone! We don't own any guns or weapons in this house and yet everything toy or not, becomes a gun or sword. He now has his 2 year old brother shooting guns using his fingers....sigh! The boys run aroudn the house all day wrestling, screaming, and being rough. I am at a loss. Time out isn't working and I end up screaming at them to keep their hands to themselves all day long. UGH!!!!
i don't think it sounds normal, as far as the weapons but my son isn't into that at all. does he watch violent movies? i dont' think my son has even seen a gun. granted there are older kids and the news etc.
it sounds like you need to 'run the dogs'. get him in some very physical activity to get his energy out and built self esteem.
take him running. bike riding ... when you think he's tired, keep runnign him.
: () see if that works.
i'd cut out all tv and computer games and see if that makes a difference (and maybe sugar/corn syrup)
after my son eats licorice we have to peel him off the ceiling (i think its the red food die)
