3 Week Old Baby Never Seems Happy

I kid you not, I take TONS fo potassium and it helps colic like nothing else I've ever seen. Potassium gluconate - I take 8 tablets of the 99mg - 3 times per day....as well as a really good calcium.

Hang in there mama.... She has been through a lot the past 3 weeks - a lot of stimulation and getting used to things... My first born daughter was the same way - - - it even got worse she would calm down and smile for her dad and grandparents, but never ME!!! I was a full-time mom, but the first person she spoke to (4 months old) was my sister! This went on for quite sometime - I felt like the worlds' most horrible and inept mother. I held her for two days after her first immunizations because everytime I put her down she cried. Nothing I did ever seemed to make her happy! The good news - over time you and her will learn things you both enjoy - my baby's dad went to war when she was 6 months old and never came back - I ended up raising her as a single mom - - - She is 16 and going to her Jr. Prom tonight - - - a day does not go by that we dont' share a hug or kiss and definately a LOT of giggles... I look back now at the first really rough months when I thought she hated me - - - and it seems so silly...

My advice - RELAX - - - she does LOVE you it's automatic - she has just been through a lot - a lot of change - from a warm dark place with little stimulation to a HUGE scary world - - - crying is her only way of communicating with you. You should feel priveledged that you are the ONE she is chosing to communicate with 90% of the time!!! Let her cry and understand that you are building a lifetime of her feeling open to communicate with you - trust me you will appreciate it when she is a teenager!

Good Luck - - -

My daughter (now 3)was like that.She may have colic, or just be a fussy baby. Do you breast or bottle feed? It may have something to do with her tummy.Also try a sling,it seemed to relax my daughter.

First of all, let me say that I feel your pain! My second child was the "cryer" of the family...and oh Lord did she ever cry. She is 12 years old now, and you know how they say parents tend to forget all the bad things that happened when their kids were little babies? Well, not this one! LOL She was inconsolable. 24/7. Honestly, she cried about 90-95% of her entire first YEAR of life. It was horrendous. She never slept, and when she did, it was in her little vibrating bouncy seat, and the rest of the time, all she ever did was cry, cry cry.

I tried to take her to the doctor when she was about 6-8 weeks old, just because I was so worried. Surely no baby would cry that much for no reason. I felt SOMETHING had to be wrong with her. Being a relatively young mother, I had yet to learn to be rude to Doctors when the situation requires it...I will never forget what that doctor told me that day.

"Babies cry! It's normal. If you didn't want to hear crying, you shouldn't have had a baby"

I was a bit speechless, but he WAS a doctor, he had just examined her, and declared her to be physically fine. So who was I to argue? He said she probably just had a little colic, gave me the usual tips, extra swaddling, burping thoroughly, mylicon drops in case of gassiness...a whole list of basically useless baloney, because NOTHING made her stop crying. EVER. Our diagnosis was basically colic, and that the worst of it would be over within a month or so. Wow...I thought I'd never live through a month...little did I know there would be soooooo much more than that!

So, we went back a month later, this time with my hubby for support.. Same medical group, different doctor, same song and dance....colic blah blah blah. "Give it another month, it should go away." and we were shooed out the door

This went on for the entire year. Month after month. at each check up we heard the same line "Some babies just have really severe colic...but it *can't* last past 3 months(or 6 months, or 8 months, or 12 months....) the nightmare was basically endless.

We never really found a "cure" for my daughter. I just wish that I knew then what I know now. I think I did an extreme disservice to my daughter in my naivete....believing in the doctor, when I really felt deep down that they couldn't be right. Just COULDN'T be.

Bottom line is this. My daughter continued to get the run around for many years. After the first year her crying decreased to maybe 75%, then third year, 50%.

It was a long hard road. and I don't know how any of us survived it. She had some unusual behaviors, (besides the crying)and delayed learning of her milestones, but most of them were mild enough that doctors chalked it up to "All kids learn at their own rate"

It took us waiting until she got into the school system at age 6 (because she wasn't anywhere near ready to go to school at age 5) that her wonderful teachers worked tirelessly to get her the testing and programs that she needed to finally make some sense of her behaviors and problems.

It turned out to be Aspergers Syndrome. A milder form on the Autism spectrum. All of those years wasted, when we could have been helping her, (and even maybe getting some SLEEP!) just because of a couple of inept doctors who couldn't be bothered to take the time to really REALLY listen to a young mother.

The moral of my long drawn out tale here is NOT that every baby that cries is going to have autism. Or maybe not even colic! Maybe she's just having a grumpy week...I don't mean to scare you!

BUT If your baby is crying, and you're not getting the help and answers you need from your physicians, please don't make the mistake I did of assuming they knew best, and that all was as it should be, just because they said so. Don't let so much time pass. If you don't get hel and answers from one place, go to another. And KEEP going to another untill you find someone that helps you (both) out!

Best of luck to you! I hope I havent scared the daylights out of you, I just really wanted to get our story out there, not only for you, but for ALL of the mothers out there who could possibly benefit from hearing what I have to say.

Blessings to all~
A.

O yes, I have been there! Thank God, its over. I switched bottles to Dr. Browns, found at Target. It almost looks like there is a straw in them, but it is a vent for bubbles. If your baby is anything like mine she colicy or just gas. Also, there is mylacon drops you can put in her bottle every feeding before you shake it up or if you are breat feeding or bottle feeding there is this wonderful stuff called Gripe Water by Baby Bliss located at health food stores. I gave gripe water to my daughter before every feeding (not to exceed 1 ounce a day) and in 3 days she was all better just don't stop for a couple of weeks. w/b L.

I have a daughter who was a a content baby until about 3 1/2 weeks old. Then all of a sudden there where these terrible crying spells that could last up t an hour or two (with breaks of course in the middle of it.) The only time she would sleep was in my or my husbands arms. I finally called the doctor and told him to listen up that there is something wrong with her. Well, my mothers intuition was right! She was diagnosed with GERD. Basically Reflux problems in short. So, I had to change my diet since I am breastfeeding, give her medicine and keep her propped at a 20-30 degree angle almost all the time. If you want to know any more symptoms that she may have had, go ahead and just ask anytime.
Hope your little angel feels better soon :D

I'm a first time mother of a 15 month old... and we had a similar situation. Some babies are just not ready for this big, scary world we live in. They were perfectly content in the warm, cozy, dark world in our bellies. I did a lot of reading and got a lot of advice from mothers and I found swaddling my son, REALLY tight they did in the hospital, made him feel MUCH more secure. They actually say that a baby who is unwrapped and "open" to the world (i.e. laying on the floor, naked in a bath, ets...) feels as if they are falling and that's why they scream. So wrap her tight, arms inside, in a swaddler or a receiving blanket, and keep her as close to you as possible at all times. What she really needs is that security, to know you are right there and that she's safe. This is the most important time, the time where she's going to learn trust and security. If you have to have your hands free put her in a sling or baby bjorn, but just keep her close to you. I know its hard, believe me, I didn't even go to the bathroom alone for the first 3 months. But this stage does not last forever... I noticed my son becoming more comfortable and less fussy around 10-12 weeks. This is normal and its just something we need to do for the well being of our children. Too many mothers DON'T follow the cues of their babies and its just a shame. Let her tell take the lead and in the end, even though you'll be tired as all heck, you will be glad you did. My son is very idependant now, very happy and secure and NOT spoiled at all. He needed the closeness and security in those first few months and because he got what he needed he was able to learn to trust that I'd be there no matter what. He's not clingy, he doesn't cry much at all and he's VERY content and happy. Good luck to you... and hang in there!! Things do get easier, I promise : )

Michelle,
When my older son (1st child) was an infant, he would cry in the evenings daily for 2 hours straight. I felt miserable because there wasn't anything that I could do to soothe him. He was colic till he was 4 months old. That might maybe the case with your daughter.

A.

It is so hard when you're first time mom. My son is almost 13 months old and we went through the same thing. I felt like all he did was nurse and I cried along with him!!
It's that she's not happy; she has been through ALOT the past 3 weeks. It has got to be so hard for them to get used to everything; they were in such a safe, comfy environment for so long and now the big world!!
Be patient and talk with her doctor. If she is formula fed maybe the formula is upsetting her stomach.
Good luch!

Hi M.,
I had the same problem. My daughter's problem was gas. She had a hard time passing it, which made her cry constantly. I would just sit and cry with her too. It is very wearing on your nerves when a newborn cries so much. If you get frustrated just set her down, walk out of the room, and take a few moments to yourself. I use mylicon drops, but my friends love gripe water for gas. Also, like the other mom said, babies aren't always comfortable to their new surroundings. I LOVE my sling. I tried buy one at a store, but I could never get it to work. My friend as a business and makes them. They work great. Find something light weight and very adjustable. That may help. I'm sorry for your situation, just hang in there. Things will get better :)
R.

know that the more you relax, the more she'll relax. and know that it is not necessarily you. if you must, lay her down safely for a few minutes at a time while you go out and breathe. trust me, she won't be doing this for long, when you consider your whole life. take the long view, know this too shall pass. and find a person who will tag team with you so that you don't get burned out or feel aggressive. you CAN do this!!! you're a good mom!

Have you tried wearing your daughter in a baby pouch, baby bjorn, etc. They like the closeness of being near mom and they can fall asleep with you. There are a myriad of baby carriers out there. There is even a babywearer website and support group if you are interested.
Good luck

M.,

Having been there and done that, it sounds like a food intolerance to me. You need to talk to your pediatrician and/or ask for a referral to a pediatric GI doctor. If you are formula feeding you will likely have to switch to a less allergenic formula and if you are breastfeeding you may need to modify your diet. In my case, I have had to eliminate dairy, soy, eggs, caffeine and chocolate from my diet. Which means I have to read every single label for everything I eat and I have to know exactly what is in the food that I eat or I don't eat it. My son has gone from absolutely miserable to a really happy baby so it is more than worth it. Most people (doctors included) always start with "dairy" as the most likely problem but you need to realize that most babies who are sensitive to dairy are also sensitive to soy because the proteins are very similar. If you need more info, feel free to contact me. ____@____.com

T.

P.S. My son is 6 months old, I've been on the elimination diet since the begining of December and I'm looking at 6 more months of it, possibly longer depending on when/if some of his intolerances start to clear up. The pediatric GI doctor said that most babies outgrow their intolerances sometime between 6-18 months. My son's biggest issue is with soy (specifically soy protein, not soybean oil).

my son was the same way. He would nurse all day long and never was happy. Only slept in the swing. I tell people that I don't remember him ever sleeping. My best advice is to get out! Get out of the house, he would always be so much happier outside. If he was crying and I couldn't take it anymore all I had to do was take him to the front porch and he was happy. Take her for a walk somewhere like a park or where ever where no one can hear her and walk. My son was also alwaysed calmed down by being in the sling. It was the only way I could do anything is by wearing him but he loved it so I did that right away with my second I just wore him in the sling all the time and he's been a much happier baby. And get out by yourself at least once a week. It's amazing what a quiet book store or a couple hours out with a friend will do for your mood. Email me if you like. Try to relax, she can read your mood. I don't tell you that to make you feel bad but to help you remember to take a deep breath. Oh and my youngest loved to be swaddled, I'd put him in his warm sleep sack and then in a swaddling blanket and he loved it. :) ~V.

HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK.......

A necessity, wouldn't have made it without the book.

Mother of 2..14YR OLD GIRL AND A 3 1/2 YR OLD SON

My second daughter did the same thing for three months, finally at wits end after doing all the same things you mentioned, I went to the store and bought some lactose free formula and a bottle. After feeding her a bottle of formula she slept for the first time for 3 hours straight. I'm still not sure if she was not getting enough breast milk or whether it was a milk allergy, but the formula worked, it was a lifesaver. I actually felt like a good mother again, and was not so stressed out even though I really wanted to breastfeed her until the age of one year. Good luck!

I totally know what you are going through. My son went through that for 3 months. Just hang in there it does get better. Your daughter probably just has a little colic which is very normal. You are doing everything right. My advice would be to get as much help as you can. You need a brake. When dad comes home hand her off to him for a while and go to a seperate room or even get out of the house for a while. I remember having to take turns with my husband walking circles around the house with my son. Try differant rooms. My son usually liked the kitchen for some reason I think it was the lights. If you are alone and you start to feel overwhelmed dont feel bad laying her in her crib for 10 minutes even if she is still screaming so that you can compose yourself. Remember they can sence when you are tense. Just hang in there it will all be worth it!

My son is now 19 months old and I went through the same thing with my son when he was first born. The nurses and doctors told me that I should breastfeed because that is the best nutrients for babies, and I think most people would agree. So I was trying to breastfeed my son while we were in the hospital and it took myself, the nurse, and my son's father to help get my son to latch on. He just didn't want to nurse, but we were determined. For the first 3 weeks my son was the most unhappy baby ever! I cried right along with him, all day long it seemed we were both crying. My boyfriend had to help me with every feeding, holding our sons head and trying to get him to latch on. He would latch on, but I don't think he was getting enough. We did have some pre made formula that similac makes already bottled in little bottles. So one evening I just felt like I was going to have a break down, it had been almost 3 weeks by now, I asked my boyfriend to warm up one of the bottles we had and I gave it to my son and he drank almost 8 ounces. That's alot for a little 5 lb baby who was born almost 5 weeks early. He slept great although he did not sleep through the night, he woke every 3 hours to eat like clock work, but that was because he was in the NICCU when he was born for 24 hours and they woke him every 3 hours to eat and that was embedded in his little brain to wake up and eat so he was trained to do that right when he was born. That was a whole different problem though. Good luck with your little girl, and if you haven't tried a bottle, I suggest giving her one. Don't listen to anybody else if they say bottles are bad! My son got breast milk for 1 month, my doctor suggested I pump and put it in a bottle, and give her formula too. She said to just transition from bottle to breast and as long as he is getting enough he will be fine. We switched between bottle and breast for about a month and then I was strictly just bottle and formula after that. He is healthy and he only gets sick because he is in daycare and well, if one kid gets sick they all get sick! Goodluck and hang in there. It gets better and happier....

M.,

I went through the exact same thing when my first son was born. He would cry whenever he was awake, slept in very short periods, and never seemed content.. It is awful to listen to your child cry and you feel so guilty about the way it makes you feel. Remember that you are really tired and are dealing with a huge change in your body and life. The feelings you have are normal and many mothers have gone through the exact same thing. One trick that really worked for us was swaddling. We would tightly swaddle our son and I could see his body relax the second I was finished. He would actually sleep for long stretches and my husband and I got a break. We also switched formulas because he had a hard time digesting lactose. The soy formula didn't help, but the lactose-free formula really eased the gas pains... My pediatrician said to just "wait it out", but we were all so miserable, we had to try something! I promise that it will get better... Everyone talks about how wonderful you feel once the baby comes, but few rarely talk about the dark moments when you doubt your ability as a mom. Hang in there! We're all pulling for you...

Hi!
Have you tried swaddling your baby??? It seems to work because it is confining like the womb was and that is what is familiar to her. If you can please either read or watch the DVD titled "The Happiest Baby on the Block". We used this approach and our daughter was very content.
Something else you can try: a Swing or a bouncy seat. There is something about the motion or vibration that babies really like. We had both and interchanged them so our daughter wouldn't get bored.
Also, if you can have a family member or trusted friend come over and help you especially if she has been crying forever. This will give you a break to collect your thoughts. Good luck!

First of all, if you are breast-feeding, you might have to supplement with formula. I went through the same thing. I was strickly breast-feeding & for as long as my Baby stayed on my breast, I thought she was fed enough. She pooped enough. So, of course, I thought she was fine, except for her wailing cries. I finally decided to give formula to see what would happen. She finally stopped the crying. I hope this helps. If you are already giving formula try Nestle Good Start. It's not as frothy when mixed & it lessens spit-ups.

M.,
I went throught same thing last year. My daughter is now 9 months old. But last year when she was born, for the first couple months, she was very fussy. I had a very hard time. She was very gassy and breast feeding was rough. I think her stomach was very weak and that may be your daughter's issue also. Maybe if you are breast feeding, stopping eating dairy foods. That seemed to help for a little with my daughter, but then I think I started eating them too soon and she got fussy again. And I don't think she had enough to eat. If it is formula, try switching. I did both, and the formula that worked for my daughter was Enfamil Gentlease.

My guess is that you are feeling guilty and frusterated and maybe even depressed - because I felt the same way. Don't go through this alone because it is so new and you need help. Make sure you have friends and family around. Also, I would love to talk with you. Please feel free to give me a call or let me call you.

Don't do this alone! You are a good mom- she knows that you love her, but right now she is just so new that she is getting used to being outside and eating other food.

By the way, now my daughter is the happiest baby ever! So it shouldn't last!

Sincerely,
B.
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My son was this way for the 1st 2 1/2 months. He was allergic to most formulas, the only one tha seemed to work was Nutramigen® LIPIL®. It is very expensive $24 - $27 a can but it did releive the colic for the most part. The sad thing is he still needed to grow out of it to be completly happ.

He did not sleep through the night until he was 2 1/2 months old. I would spend most nights sleeping with him on the couch. I was tired, drained and cranky. It was creating riffs between my husband and I. My husband could not stand the crying and not being the mother was not sympathetic. We were at the Dr. all the time. The good thing is he is now 6 months and has slept through the night ever scince he was 2 1/2 months old. Hang in there things will get better. He is now a happy, very cubby and sleeps great.

Hi M.,
I had the same problem. I remember my son on his 3 week 'birthday' cried 12 straight hours one day. It was horrible. I took him to the doctor and nothing seemed wrong. We thought it might be the onset of colic which normally happens around 6 weeks. Thankfully it wasn't. I never really did understand why the first few weeks of life was so hard, but shortly after all that he started to settle down into a routine and so did we.
I found the more cofortable and the better I felt the better my little man did. I think they can sense your emotions and fatigue. Lets face it, it is hard being a first time mommy. One thing that really helped me and my son was reading Happiest baby on the block. Basically for the first three months of life you re-create the womb environment. It helped!
Just hang in there. It will get better. Your baby and you are just going through some big adjustments right now.

I had a similar situation and wearing my baby helped tremendously. We would walk around with her in the baby bjorn and I also got a sling which helped a lot too. Sometimes newborns just aren't used to being out of the womb so you have to try to recreate it as much as possible. Also, try a hairdryer - it worked great for us! We would sit and rock with our baby and have the hairdryer running next to her (not on her) - the white noise worked great. A vaccuum works good too. It was hilarious seeing my husband holding the baby walking around vaccuming the house! If you're not swaddling, do that too. The Miracle Blanket is truly a miracle - you can get one online. Check out The Happiest Baby on the Block video and/or book - it helped a bit for us with some tips on how to calm the crying baby. Don't feel bad about crying about it - I definitely had several breakdowns. It does get easier and in a few weeks she will start smiling and it will warm your heart.

As with the other advice, just to be safe it's not a bad idea to check with the doctor first to make sure everything is ok.

Good luck and don't feel alone - it's hard to have a newborn!

My son was that way for the first two weeks, turns out he was not getting enough breast milk.

A couple of other things to try are:

Gripe Water
http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId...

Good luck, hugs!

T.
Founder
www.theparentpack.org

You should have her checked out by her doctor. It is hard to tell what may be wrong at 3 weeks. Start by taking her in for an exam.

D.

My son was like that the first 8 weeks of his life. I think part of it was just who he is, but the other part was that he was bothered by something in my breastmilk. I went on an elimination diet and determinded it was soy products. When I stopped eating soy it got a lot better.

Dairy is also something that can irritate babies tummies a lot.

Now he is an angel and hardly ever cries.

Don't worry, you will get through this. Remember this saying, "This too shall pass."

It's possible that she has infant reflux problems - even if she doesn't spit up more than usual, there can also be what's called "silent reflux" where they are experiencing heartburn and "wet burps" and swallowing back down the acid. There can also be other symptoms such as constant congestion or wheezing (and more things I don't have time to list here).

My daughter had silent reflux (with the occasional barf) and it helped tremendously once we got it under control with some home treatments coupled with prescription medication. She eventually outgrew it so we were able to wean her off her medication gradually when she was about 18 months old. I'd do some reading online about infant reflux symptoms and see if any of it sounds familiar, and also check with your pediatrician of course to see if this (or anything else) is a problem that needs medical attention. Here are a few links to help:

http://www.infantrefluxdisease.com/
http://www.infantreflux.org/
http://makinglifebetter.org/

Sorry you're having a rough time - I hope you can figure out what's going on soon so you and your daughter will be happier.

God bless you,

S.

Hi M.,
I'm so sorry that you're baby is so unhappy. Sometimes I think that a first time mom thinks that their baby is unhappy when in fact they are just being a baby..and CRYING. some cry more than others. If you're still breastfeeding please, please, please KEEP breastfeeding. I have no idea why these other moms are telling you to give formula?..if your baby is having a hard time digesting your mothers made milk, why would they have an easier time digesting some manufactured corn starch? READ the ingredients of the formula and go with your motherly instict and do what's best for YOU and your baby. there is a wondeful product at whole foods called gripe water..its works wonders for colicy babies. you can also try swaddling the baby, it might just need to be bundled up close to you, do you have an urgo pack?.baby bjorn? Look in to them and buy one as soon as you can. (Look in to the urgo pack and slings first before the bjorn's) slings are great for newborns (3mo olds) and urgos work good for 2 yrs!! AS another mom on here said, take a walk. that helps too, especially if you have the baby in a baby carrier attached to you. Good luck, hang in there. some babies are just a little more high maintenance. Oh, one more thing. don't over stimulate her either. keep the music low, or t.v. off, ect. GOod luck sweetie.

I will try not to repeat all the great advice that everyone has given you, I am the mother of 4 wonderful children and i have to tell you with the first 2 it was a lot harder to soothe them and I think it has a lot to do with experience, parenthood is tough tough work and there are so many lessons you learn every day that help you to parent your child in the rite way. With my first she also had colic and I had to stop breastfeeding and she had to go on formula, a charcoal based formula, ( if I had to do it over again I dont think I would have went this route). Recently I had my fourth child and its going really good, when we have crabby periods I go to my room with him and turn the lights down low and play Jack Johnson's new cd or his Curious George cd also Norah Jones is really good at calming him down, skin to skin contact while your rocking him may help also, I know at times like this it seems like it wont get any better but trust me these days are numbered, he will grow up in the blink of an eye. I like to think that when the day has been an awful parenting day I am just paying my dues. Trust your instincts.
Happy Parenting......Good Luck!!!

I would look for a certified homeopathic physician-- sometimes there are pediatricians who are also homeopaths, but any homeopath might be able to help. Homeopathic medicine is safe and has worked wonders for babies. Try that first, and if the baby doesn't respond to remedies, it might be time for some testing.

If holding and soothing doesn't seem to comfort her, you might try chamomilla 30 c (a remedy in your local health food store, costs about $7-) in the meantime. They are little white sugar pills and you crush 3 to 5 of them between 2 clean spoons and pour the powder into the baby's mouth.That one's good for colic and general fussiness, teething, etc where nothing seems to relieve.

I'd also try various dietary changes on yourself and see if that helps-- she might be reacting to a food you are eating that is reaching her via nursing (if you are nursing), like spicy food, garlic, etc. Some babies are that way until their digestive system matures a little. Good luck!!

Have you made sure she is burping every 1 ounce? Is she constipated? Have you tried Grip Water which is avaliable at Target or Longs. You may have to change your daughters formula. If she is breastfed are you sure she is getting enough? It could be many things, I would call and talk to your Dr.
L.
www.lindaslittlelaboratory.com