3 Month Old Impossible to Get to Sleep

We did the let her cry method. Its hard the first few nights and nap times but it has really payed off. She lays down for a nap and bedtime without a sound. We also have a routine for nap and bed. We read a certain set of books in a certain order, say goodnight to everyone and hand out kisses and its off to bed. Its really hard to do at first. I cried with her the first few nights but it has saved so much heart ache since.

Hi M.,

I used to leave the vacume, spelled really wrong, on because they say, it sounds like the noises in the womb. It worked for me. I hope it does for you also. It really does get easier. Hang in there! Mom of two girls, 4 and 1

M.,
As the mother of three (8,6,2) I can tell you that time will fix all of this. Cosleeping is wonderful. Love the shower, my sister used the clothes dryer to get hers to sleep.

Every child is different. I nursed all of mine to sleep in the first few months. There is nothing wrong with that. They will outgrow it.

What I found was the best, was to cary them in the Biorjn (sp?). They slept, I had them close and the bonding was great. Three months, basically 90 days in to life don't expect too much. Hold, sing, carry, nurse, shower, drive around the block - whatever it takes to help this sweet soul get used to having a body. Before you know it, they will be off to school!

If your daughter likes that sound, you can tape the shower running and have it play in her room or wherever she's sleeping. Or you can buy a sound machine at any baby store. We have that in our daughters crib-it plays wave sounds all night long and she really likes it. Good luck! I know how hard this is! Did you try swaddling or a sleep sack? That worked wonders for us.

I used to have the blow dryer on for my son to fall sleep, and most times at nap it would have to be on the entire time. Sound of vacume, or any other white noise like ocean, rain, rain forest should also do the trick.

I'd say you have to get that little one to fall asleep on her own :) My daughter had a VERY difficult time napping. First I'd say to make sure you've got a good nap time routine down. For us, at that age, it was 1) tell her she looked sleepy and it was time for a nap (verbal queues are important as they get older. My daughter knows sleepy and nap now that she is 18 months, and if I tell her she looks sleepy, she puts her head down on something. Is pretty funny, actually). 2) We'd change her diaper so she was dry and comfy for her nap. 3) we'd say by to the sunshine for a while and close her blinds. 4) We gently dance to a soft song. 5) I'd put on her white noise and do the rock walk. It's a rocking motion while you rock. That got her nice and sleepy. Once she was almost asleep, but still awake, I'd lay her down in her crib and keep my hands on her so she felt the warmth and pressure and she'd nod off. After a while I didn't need to put my hands on her. If your daughter likes the sound of the shower, why not try the white noise too? You can buy a CD, ambient white noise, or you can download it off itunes. I did the latter, bought an inexpensive Ipod player, and put it in her room and then ran it on continuous loop. Or a fan could work. We moved onto a fan when she got older, and we haven't used anything in a long while now. Helping her to fall asleep on her own is an important part of her nap and bedtime process too. Her falling asleep safe, happy and comfortable in her own crib is the key to you being able to doing her nap time routine, put her down and leave the room and she falls asleep happily on her own. Anyhow, that is what worked for us. I hope it helps you some! I know how exhausting this is!!! Hang in there and be consistent and she'll get it. Good luck!!

Hello, I also have a 3 month old that has that problem too sometimes. She gets so tired she gets cranky. I also "nurse to sleep". I've read a couple different things and one is to let them cry it out, for a little bit before going in to check on them. It's heartbreaking to do but they have to learn to fall asleep by themselves. Of course only doing it at 5, 10 or 15 minute intervals. With our daughter now when she gets that tired it only takes her about 10 minutes of fighting the sleep and she is out like a light! Another thing I noticed when bringing her in the bathroom to take shower is the fan noise works just as well. It saves on water! A website you might want to check out is thenest.com. There is a baby board on there and you can post questions for other people to answer. This question is on there all the time by different people. It's similar to this but you get your answers in minutes! It's under Baby, then 0-6 months board. A lot of people have said lately that they've been having problems w their 3 mth olds sleeping thru the night. Myself included! Anyway, you're not alone, it just takes a little time and patience. Good luck!

Hi,
Our son is 4 months old. He still has issues going to sleep, but it has gotten a lot better. Have you ruled out any medical issues? Our son has acid reflux so this often affects his sleep. I think our son also had some issues with colic that he is slowly growing out of. Currently, he sleeps great for his day time naps, but we are having huge issues getting him to sleep at night (it is often a 2 hour ordeal). I would suggest possibly trying the Ferber method, where your daughter learns to self-soothe by you as a parent not responding to her every cry. This is how we got our son used to the idea that the crib is for sleep. If you constantly respond she'll never learn how to soothe herself and will begin to think that you'll respond to her every cry. It will get better...i promise you. We were where you are a month ago and things are already better. Your little one is just getting used to the world and learning her way around. Hang in there.

We used a mobywrap for naps for about 3-4 months. The thing that worked best to soothe my daughter when she was really crying, even better than the vacuum, was loud dance music, anything that has a nice base seemed to work. I'd put her in the mobywrap, put on Daft Punk and dance around the house. In seconds she would quiet and in minutes she'd be asleep. I think this is a hard stage because babies are learning to sleep. I'm for a gentle approach that is age appropriate (not so hot on cry-it-out or Ferber). It gets easier every month. Trust your instinct on when your baby might be ready to try other methods of falling asleep.

Ahh, such sweet memories! Our son was just like that! Would not fall asleep in his own crib. We had to hold him, then hope that we could slip him into the crib without waking him up. We also took so many rides in the car...

Maybe try buying a white noise machine. We have one in each of our rooms. We have used them since my 6 1/2 yr old was an infant. It helps cover some of the loud starling noises and helps the kids sleep through their father getting ready for work in the morning. I think we paid $50 or so for each. I don't remember where we ordered them from but it is called Sleep Mate by Marpac. Maybe the cost can be justified by the savings in your water bill :-)

P. (SAHM to a 5 and 6 yr old)

You have to let her cry it out in the crib. Babies are very fast learners, she will learn by the first or second time. My nearly 6 month old has been putting herself to sleep for the last 6-8 weeks, both for naps and at night. Put earplugs on, take a shower, go outside while she's crying. It's well worth it in the long run. Just make sure she's tired when you put her down. Again, let her cry (she will be OK) -- and she will eventually put herself to sleep. Good luck!

Get the Aqua sounds machine from fisher price

Sorry its called ocean wonders

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-EwfnXXbJZ8

here it is on You tube.

Works wonders,

put the baby in her crib,
change her diaper,
cover her up
rub her head

pop in her pacifier

and turn on the machine

then leave the room

she might whine for a few minutes, 5-7
but then she will fall asleep.

put her down at 10 am.

M

M.,

I feel your pain, my son was the same and now (knock on wood) he is a great sleeper, he been for the last 2 years. I would have suggestd the swing, since that did work for us, but you said it no longer works. White noise is great, actually all you need it do is set a small radio to a static station, of course you can go out an buy something more expensive, but the static worked for me. Also make sure the room is very dark (at one point I had to hang think blankets over the windows). If her crib is chilly use a heating pad to heat it before you put her down (the feeling of the cold sheets would wake my son almost instantly). Also you may want to swaddle her (if you are not already)she may like that secure feeling. Good luck, it will pass, usually by 6 months.

M., Your baby is not learning how to sleep naturally. You are going to end up having to help her for years to come. There is a wonderful, quick to read book called, On Becoming Babywise by Ezzo. Skip ahead when you get it and read the chapter on scheduling your baby's routine. Then go back and read the rest. I had both of my babies in Germany (husband in Air Force) one year apart. I had no family around and I did not live on base. I had no idea how much or how often a baby needed sleep or food (I did breast feed). This became my resource and it saved me from exhaustion. The goal is to get your baby to sleep (fall asleep on their own, put them down awake) 8 hrs. by 8 wks. Mine did it before the 8 wks. and one was very small. They will sleep 12 hrs. by 1 yr. of age. All this time, they will take regular naps throughoutt the days. The basic routine is, sleep, feed, wake time (play,interact), and then nap. At night it is, put down to sleep, if she wakes feed her, and put right back down to sleep. I can't tell you how much I appreciated this book. My sister-in-law is doing a similar routine using the Baby Whisperer book and having wonderful results. Best of luck to you. -R.

Hi M.,

This brings back memories! My daughter is soon to be 11 months old and is now a great sleeper. But at 3 months I was all over Mamasource with the same problem. White noise is great, but you can buy a white noise track on iTunes for a lot cheaper than a machine. I downloaded the track and set it to loop on my laptop in my daughter's nursery. It worked! She also like being swaddled. Hope this helps.

Hello M.,

My daughter is almost 4 months. She received a gift
of this little lamb and it plays sounds one is rain,
like the sound of a shower. You may look into getting
one. I can put the baby down in her crib and turn that
on and she falls asleep. It plays other sounds also.
Good Luck.

My son was the same way (wanted to be nursed to sleep and stayed latched on while sleeping or be held the whole time), he refused to nap on his own and was extremely miserable because of it. Finally after 4 months I gave up and just had him cry it out in his crib. I put him on a schedule of a morning nap and an afternoon nap. The first time I put him down, he screamed for 45 minutes (I checked on him a couple times)I was actually talking to the doctors office during that time because I wanted to make sure that it was ok for him to cry for so long and they said it was. After that first forced nap (he finally feel asleep) the next couple ones weren't as bad and after about 3 days, he stopped crying and just went to sleep. Once he started taking regular naps he was a completely different child...he was always happy and rarely ever cried...he did a complete 180 (thank god). If he didn't take his two naps, then he wouldn't sleep through the night, but if he did do both naps, he slept for at least 8 hours at night. He just turned 1 two days ago and cut himself down to one nap right after lunch, bed at 7 and is usually up around 8:30am. Letting him cry it out worked for me...but it is not the easiest thing to do...I went to the opposite floor and opposite end of my house so I wouldn't hear him scream (but again it only lasted for about 3 days and my doctor said it was okay to do). Good luck!

Sounds like my daughter when she was 3 months old! Different things work for different babies - you probably know what works best, be in noise, motion, etc. but this is probably your problem (it was with me): if you waiting for her to show signs of sleepiness, YOU HAVE ALREADY WAITED TOO LONG. She is already cranky from being tired. What you have to do is track when she gets tired, and develop a nap schedule around that so that you are putting her down for a nap about 15 minutes BEFORE she starts yawning, etc. Soon she will start getting sleepy right at naptime, and should sleep well. p.s. she probably needs three naps at that age.

Have you tried giving her one of you t-shirts to sleep with. Wear a shirt during the day, then at night take it off and lay it with her. Sometimes just the smell of you helps.

Hi M.,
Have you thought about getting one of the sounds machines for your daughters room that has the water sound on it. The sounds can be a stream, the ocean and I think I have heard one with rain. I think Wal-Mart and K-Mart carry this type of machine, I am not sure what they cost. Hope this helps, there is nothin worse than a baby who does not sleep! I have 5 and luckily all have been pretty good sleepers. Best of luck.

E.

Hi M.,
I'm a first time Mom too. My son was the same way at that age, we either had to drive him around for about an hour or rock him or put him in his swing. Since she loves the shower noise, find a CD that has that noise. They have come out with just about everything they have to have a CD with running water or even find a rain forest CD that has rain in the background. I will tell you thing, it does get better and easier, around 4-5 months. My son is almost 8 months now and he is still cranky when going to sleep but only for a short while (few minutes at most) then he's out. For now you'll have to do what is working but it does change and get better. L.

Dear M.,
I can remember going through the same thing as though it were yesterday - it was 24 years ago. It is frustrating indeed. Once she starts crawling and getting more exercise, it will get easier, I promise.
One thing that helped tremendously at the age your daughter is, is that I enrolled us in a Mommy-baby course at the YMCA. All that kicking and movement in the water helped poop her out. Then by summer I took her to the pool often.
If your daughter enjoys the sound of the shower, I would buy one of those water flowing ornaments they sell and put it in her room. Whatever works.
Co-sleeping at night can cause trouble later on. Once she gets used to it, she will end up fighting against later on. What's expedient at the moment can cause more problems in the future.
Is she on a regular schedule, meaning are nap times and bedtime at the same time everyday? If not, they should be. It won't take long and she will realize that this is the time to sleep. Without a schedule, she has no timeclock.
If your daughter is anything like mine was, she will need to be kept active and stimulated. Take her out often, the more she sees and experiences, the more tired she will become.
The last word. Eventually, they become teenagers and you need to be creative to get them up in the morning without a fight.
Good Luck, W.