3 Mo and I Am Starting to Go Nutty

Hang in there, mama!!! Babies are HARD. Not two of them are the same. :) What I found out about my babies is that just when I thought I had it figured out (their natural schedule, what to expect, etc.) it would change. :) That makes it super hard.

Things that jumped out at me....

Babies go through growth spurts on the 3's. 3 week, 6 weeks, 9 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, 12 months, etc.

Babies going through a transition have difficulty with eating and sleeping. This could be teething, rolling over, being able to see better, etc.

Babies pick up on stress. You are internally stressing about going back to work, dealing with a frustrating situation, and having mommy guilt. All valid.

Babies are more colicky (sp?) around this age.

Mommy guilt. UGH!!!! Guess what? Being a full time care giver of another person is EXHAUSTING!!!! You are allowed to vent, complain, and ask for help. We all get to complain about our job from time to time, right? It doesn't mean you want to quit or in this case that you love your child any less. Really.

My advice? Do what you have to to get through. Baby in the swing? Perfect! Baby is sleeping through the night and in a crib!?!?!? SCORE!!! (My youngest didn't sleep through the night for her first 18 months!) Ask for help! Call your mom to come visit and help. Ask hubby to step up a bit more. Schedule yourself some away time once a week until you start work. I know you are EBF'ing, but if you are going to go to work soon, are you going to be able to keep doing that? If not, it's time to start introducing the bottle. You are still giving baby your milk, and even if you weren't you aren't harming her. Ya, know?

I went through 6 years of infertility before my first. I cried a lot when I heard moms complain about their kids. I swore I'd never do that. Well guess what? I vent like every other normal parent. Do I love my kids? With every fiber of my being. I will not take them for granted, but they can drive me batty from time to time. And, I'm not always the happiest person from hour to hour, but I am overall extremely happy with my kids and wouldn't change it for the world!

Best of luck, mama. It does get better!

Hi, S.. First of all, believe it or not, you are a great mom! We have all these Hallmark pictures in our heads of the happy mom with happy baby. It doesn't do justice to the depth and complexities of the relationship. We get frustrated, angry, exhausted, confused, overwhelmed. We need help and support - and usually don't get enough. What makes us think that we have to *want* to hold our baby every minute? That we are not allowed times when we are at our wits' end and prefer to *not* hold our baby? You are in as much need of support as your baby is.
As to the ebf and her not wanting to nurse sometimes (especially the one breast), there are lots of questions to ask first. How is her weight gain? You say you can tell from her cries that she is not full, and yet she is not taking the breast. Have you looked into the possibilities that you are eating something she is allergic to? Wheat, dairy, eggs, chocolate, strawberries, and other allergens? My daughter had difficulties too. long story. You don't need to hear it all, but it turns out she is gluten-intolerant (maybe has celiac disease). I'd be happy to talk with you if you want. Just send me a private message and I'll respond with my phone number.
Sending love, blessings, and (if you like) a warm hug,
Meg

Babies are hard! Give yourself a break and accept the fact that they cry, sleep/dont sleep and eat/don't eat - on routines that make absolutely no sense at all. Sure - you can read lots of books and do lots of different techniques and rules and schedules - but every baby is so different.

You are tired. You are hormonal. You are stressed. You feel guilty/sad about going back to work. I have been there and it DOES get better.

I read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby and there were several things I liked. One is that babies should get a chance to sleep every two hours (I think?) during the day. So your baby wakes up at 7:00 am - around 9:00 am lay her down and see if she can rest. You can coordinate your nursing schedule with the sleeping schedule - sort of. I also tried to be home so that I could put the baby in her bed to sleep.

You will get LOTS of suggestions from this question and your head will probably spin and you will feel even more overwhelmed than before. Just give yourself a break, stop beating yourself up, and let your mom and friends come over and hold that baby for hours!

As far as the mommy and me - I'm a working mom and hate being away from my children, now 4 and 2, but we do still have so many experiences together and so many memories already.

La Leche League! Nothing like brainstorming with other moms' who've been there, done that. You can find the group near you at http://www.llli.org/webus.html Our local group even has a Facebook page for instant online help!

My daughter is the same age and I am 100% certain she is starting to teethe. She chews on EVERYTHING she can get in her mouth and sometimes I can tell that it hurts for her to eat. She's more of a cat-napper and always has been, but in the last two weeks she started waking up in the middle of the night. Um... no, thank you.

My husband found a sleeper called the Nap Nanny. It's pricey ($130), but is "cuddles" them and keeps them a little bit upright so they are more comfy. Honestly, I want one for myself!

Of course we all have those days. If you start to have lots of them in a row, call your doctor. Otherwise, remember that you are a mommy and while that does make you a superhero, it doesn't make you super-human.

Babies pick up on your stress and I would think that might be part of the problem but not all of it. Maybe she is not tired when you put her down for a nap at that moment, maybe you need to play more with her now that she's a bit older before naptime. As for the nursing on one side I had one do that and it is a major problem. I think if you express some milk first on the side she'd not wanting to nurse from it might help, might not. Offer that side first. Maybe she can go longer between feedings now that she's a bit older too and so maybe she's not really wanting to eat right then. Also babies sometimes get fussy and act like you are describing when they are overly tired too. I would try to talk, sing, walk some with her around naptime and see if she will calm down a bit. When you go back to work will she be on a bottle all day? That will disrupt her life too and probably take a bit of time to get her used to that. Just be patient and as long as she gaining and eating and sleeping at night I would go a day at a time. I know it can be frustrating but babies change so often I'm sure she will adjust and find a better schedule if you work with her on it. Teething is a possibility too.