3-Year Old Bedroom Disaster Area

For the stuffed animals. I bought one of those nets that hang in the corner of the room. I arranged them all so that my daughtor could see them. they wernt all over the room because she couldn't reach them. I then put half of her toys in a box and put them in the closet and every couple of months I switched them out. She was excited because she got to see old friends. I was happy not such a big mess. I would suggest doing this when she is not around. You will never get anything in the box and you will have the same problem.

C.,

You have alread got some good advice. Other tricks I have used that work well. Put a hight shelf or netts up at the celing level. Put stuffed critters (MC d toys to or just stop getting them (my sister did that with her 3 she claims peace in the house after that)) up there. She can not reach them and we keep down a certain amount and if he wants one that is up there he has to trade with one that is down.

Also throughout the day have quick clean breaks. Make it fun and a race. Say Lets count how many toys we can put away befor the song ends. Lets see how many red toys we can get into the toy box. Also try to get her in the habit of when she is done with one toy she put it away befor getting to many more out.

What about a corner net for most of the stuffed animals? We had one of these for awhile. You just get a couple of hooks and set up the net high in one corner of the room. She would use this for the ones she can't bear to part with, but doesn't play with all the time. You could leave down a few to play with. At the time we got the net, it was inexpensive, and it does take some of the clutter off the floor.

oh C. you were singing my song
you know what I did I had my girls go to a friends house next door for the day and guess what I did
I cleaned out and took out a lots of toys and games and made it to where is just a few toys and every other month I have the girls go next door and I switch out toys and the girls act like they got new toys and keep the other toys in a plastic container thats not see through good luck
God Bless mother of 4 Danielle

Minimize! Then rotate in and out.

I bought small clear plastic bins for my son's "guys" - they go in the bin or they are mine. I have them on the book shelf. You can get them at the dollar store. And I use colorful, cloth collapsable boxes (with a handle on one side). I got mine at the dollar store, Ross and Target. Those are organized by animals, trinkets, cards, crayons/pencils, etc. Then I rotate boxes into the closet that are not getting used and pull out the set from the closet. So, he has "fresh" toys and interest. He actually carries the box to the living room to play, replaces the items into the box when finished, and returns it to the shelf. If it's on the floor, it's mine (after a gentle reminder). After instructing during the "training" period, I've used a quiet approach to get results - take him gently by the hand and point to the items on the floor. If he doesn't respond, I "remind" him by silently signaling to the proper bin. Still no response? Remove the items.

I will also sing a silly, made-up, clean up song for whatever the problem is. Like putting away his folding stool - "I see four legs on the floor, but we only have two, I see four legs on the floor, what's a mother to do?" He runs to fold the four legged stool (into a flat two-legged stool) and puts it away. It doesn't always work, and often times I go in to help clean up - but I hope these suggestions can help!

My daughter is 7 and we have a system that we use when her room gets too overwhelming for her. I tell her to go pick up 5 things and put them away in their proper container. Sometimes I'll say to find the 5 largest items, as then the room has the appearance of being cleaner that much faster. Then I do the next 5 items. With just 5 to do at a time, it seems much easier for them to put them away in the proper container. Plus, since you're helping, you are demonstrating the right way to do it. I will often leave the room during her turn (having 2 other children, etc.) and she will often surprise me by "working ahead."

I also have a 3 year old, His room was a constant mess, and if I asked him to clean up his toys, he would NOT do it unless I helped him. The problem was that he would get something else out before picking up what he was playing with. We now have the rule that if you have to pick up your toys that you are playing with before you get anything else out. If it is left out and he is playing with something else, I give him one warning, if he still dosn't pick it up, it gets put up for the rest of the day. Its working for us, his room has stayed clean and clutter free. We have the short shelf from Target with colored buckets that you can pull out and put back...love it. Hope this helps.
K.

Hi I am a preschool teacher and know a little on helping children clean up. First I would suggest going through your daughters room when she is not there. Clean out an old babyish toys or toys your daughter no longer plays with. The more toys we give our children the less imagination they use to play with them. So Less is more here. Children can get very overwhelmed when they see a huge mess and there are not clear definitions of where the item is returned.

Next the bins are a great idea but you need to label them with a picture. You can either take a picture or use Clip Art on Microsoft Word and tape them to the front of the bins. Book storage is best kept in a Basket. Having children put books back on shelves is hard at three but a basket is easy for them to sort through the books and drop back in when they are done. Give clear rules like books go back in the basket or stuffed animals go in the bin when you are done playing.

You will need to clean her room entirely the fist time when you clear out her room. Start with only a few toys in the room if she can keep that clean and put away when she is done then you can add a new toy each week. I deally children of this age should have about 5 choices of things to do that are rotated once a month to keep them entertained. If the books seem to be a problem then only have three books available in the basket and the rest up on a high shelf or window ledge and just rotate them. Teach her how to take care of her things. Explain to her if we keep our room clean If you have a million stuffed animals then ask her to pick a few of her favorites and donate the rest.

Once her room is cleaned take her on a tour of her room and walk around the room and say this is where we keep our books in this basket and this is where we keep our stuffed animals.
Some people are in to rewarding, you can make a chart and if she cleans up her room daily then she can earn a sticker on her chart and at the end of the week she can pick a new to to bring into her room. But remember don't be afraid to take away the toy if she refuses to clean up her room, cleary state "You have a choice you can either Keep your toy by putting it back on the shelf or mommy will take it away and put it in the Take Away Bin. If you indeed have to take away the toy tell her she can earn it back by getting 5 stars on the chart. When explaining things remember to come down to her level and look her in the eyes and say in a clear stern voice so she knows you are serious. I am sure she will be keeping things tidy in no time.

Hi, What you could do that is really cheap or practically free is to put a picture on the drawers,baskets, bins, etc. For instance, if her clothes go somewhere put a picture of a dress, socks, shorts, top ...or books, put a picture of books on the shelf, bin, etc. I would think you could take a picture, cut one out of a magazine or draw one that is simple and have her do it with you so she can be excited and be a part of it. I hope this helps. I am new on here and this is my first post of any kind.
Good Luck, J.

Well, I just read some of the responses after the fact and saw that someone else had already put sort of the same thing. Guess I should read them first next time !

Sounds like your three year old has too much stuff. You could pull all but a few things out of her room and put them in a closet or the garage. When she can keep her room straight you can either add a few things back in or create a swap system. She can exchange some of the things you have put away for some of things in her room. Children get overwhelmed very easily and this will make her old things seem new again.

My 4 yo daughter is the same way. What it boils down to is that she is overwhelmed once she gets everything out to play with and then sees it all laying there AND she still wants to play! So, either my husband, her big brother (9) or I will help her by making it a game and we always start with one thing at a time. We tell her "okay, first we'll put away your dress ups" and when her brother does this he'll say "you do your dress ups and I will do your tea set, ready, set, GO!" and they race. I've gotten her to the point now where I can do other things, like put away her clean laundry and give her cues about what to put away next, even though that isn't a game. I also talked to her about everything having a 'home' just like she does and that all her toys like to be put back when it belongs so she can find it and play with it again later, just like she likes to be at home at night. Then when everything is put away in it's proper place we turn on her music and dance on the newly clean floor. The one-thing-at-a-time really helps her to not be overwhelmed - she can just focus on finding specific items (start with the big, easy to find ones, not the little pieces ones).
As far as organizing goes, you could even use short boxes and have your daughter decorate them however she wants to. As they get to be well used, you can replace it and have her decorate another - or just as her taste changes. This will, at the very least, buy you some time to find some inexpensive organizing items (have you tried freecycle?). Good luck :)

Hi C....
I just read your story. I am a local Interior Designer and as far as finding inexpensive storage solutions, Ikea or Target are probaly your best bets, or if you or your husband are handy with a hammer and nail. In order to really help you with this challenge.. if you send me some photos of her room, I can get a better idea of what might work. You can email me at ____@____.com design fees run $95 an hour, but I would be willing to take a quick look by you sending some photos...then emailing you or calling you with a response at no charge. My daughter is almost 25...and I was lucky in that she was a little organizer herself...but It's not everyone's personality and so we just need to approach each child with differant solutions. Always remember..it's the one room in the house that's all her's....so she might not always do it your way...but with loving guidance you might just get her to meet you half way..and remember..she's only 3..the trying 3's ...remember..this to shall pass ..hope I can be of help..P. B

HI C.,
My son is the same way! I have organized basically like you. I have 'rubermaid' little boxes that are clear with lids..some baskets ect...nothing really fancy but you are right- it is all about how they put it away and making sure it is put in the same spot each time.

I too think it is just overwhelming when they see the total destruction of the room and cant focus on where to start. I have found that if I break up the pirces of the room into smaller chores and just have him focus on that only....it gets easier.

We will do something like...first get all your books and put your books here. Just the books...(try to ignore the million of little cars, trucks, planes and people strewn about. )

Then I will give him his 'car' box...and do the same thing. Just pick up all the cars ....

It takes longer and I obviously have to be near; but in the long run it is easier if I 'help out' during the cleaning instead of having the mess to clean up afterwards or the frustration when he cant find that one little specufuc thing.

Good luck

I have a 13 year old who has the same problem. Ask your daughter what she is willing to "put away" to make space in her room. Then place it in a box in your garage for awhile, but discourage her from looking in that box. After a few months she will forget about it and you can donate it to charity. I wish I had done this when my daughter was only 3, as now she thinks everything she has ever had "has a memory" for her!

I have found that keeping some of the messier toys up on high shelves to help. I bought a few buckets at target to keep toys organized and easy to clean up. I also reward him when he cleans his room with a special treat.

Hi!
I am a retired kindergarten teacher with a 7 yr. old grandson and 5 yr. old granddaughter. I found for myself and my grandkids that it is not possible to organize if you have too many things. I'd reduce the toys, books, clothes to a minimum. Put the others in the garage, then gradually switch things as you go along. It is hard to keep things in their proper place when there are to many to put in that one space. Just a thought.....I struggle with this myself.

R.

I read in John Rosemond's "Parent Power" book that a child should only have as many toys as his/her age. That's all they really have the attention span for, and no matter what, they can clean it all up. I convinced my 5 year old that she should give away half her toys to children who don't have any, and every 6 months that's what we do. Since we started doing this, it has been a lot easier for her to clean up, and she actually plays with what she has. I don't know if I will ever get my DD down to only 5 toys but I think it's probably true that she would be just as happy if that's all she had.

HI C.!

Keeping a playful childs' room clean is always a challenge. My youngest is 5 now, but there was a time that he LOVED playing with everything so much, that it was always a disaster. I finally got 2 big boxes that are NOT see-thru, and that will fit up on top of the closet shelf. Then I picked out toys that we could "live without" temporarily and put them all into the boxes. After a month, or so, I would "swtich out" the toys that my son played with. This helped control the constant clutter...a little bit anyway.
I never told him where these toys were, only that they were "resting to play with him soon". The nice thing about it, is that the toys that came from the box, were newly discovered and loved all over again.
It took some time to get the whole process together, but when I finally did, it was worth it. I usually ended up cleaning the room anyway, so this helped me so much. A 3yr. old can only stay focused for moments of cleaning. But, I did hold my son to cleaning alot of his own room. I would select 1 "theme" toy....pirate ship, trucks, etc..., and set a timer, and say, "how fast can you clean up all the trucks?" It didn't always work, but it worked most of the time. Your daughter is old enough to have a simple sticker chart for cleaning her room. Maybe that would help, too.
Good luck!
N.

Hi C.! Check out http://www.HouseFairy.org this is a division (?) of the FlyLady.net (http://www.flylady.net) she might be able to help!! I didn't even have a computer when mine were that age and Flylady wasn't invented but I wish she had been !!
Take Care!! C. D.

C.-you sound like my twin!
My 3 year old "baby" girl loves helping me clean but she too hates to clean her room. She some how always manages to get brother (6) to help. What I found that helped her was to put pictures on the containers then place them on the bed during cleaning time. This way she new what belong in each container and didn't have to walk to different areas in the room to put it away. Once she is done I prise her and then I put the containers back where they belong. This has helped a lot. One trick I used with my son was "beat the clock". It was a game to him. I would set the timer and he would race to clean up his toys. Once he realized it really wasn't a game, I had to tell him whatever wasn't put away when the buzzer went off belonged to me. It took one time bagging up old toys and taking them to Goodwill with him watching. He has beat the clock everytime since then! Hope this helps.

The one thing I would add is this, maybe try to pick up more often? I don't know how often you put the toys away but I have my 3 yr old pick up things that he is no longer playing with while he is playing. As he moves on to another thing or another room I ask him to pick up "So you can have more room to play". That usually helps. Plus we put most toys away before leaveing the house and all toys away before bed and naps. I hope that helps! Also do check out Flylady, I love her! there is also a "House Fairy" that helps with kid stuff! Good luck!

My 3 yo was the same way! We now spend a few minutes (that is all it takes) every night and pick up his room together. This way he is starting to understand where his toys go and it is fun with mom and dad helping. It also makes playing in his room more fun because he knows where his toys are and can find them easily.
H.
www.plantitnursery.com

I have the same problem with my 4 y/o DD. Toddlers have short attention spans, get easily frustrated, and easily distracted. I know I can't expect my daughter to pick up her room and know where exactly everything goes all by herself. But, I do know that if we work together I can teach her and show her and eventually she will be able to do it on her own. Her room became a disaster area and we both were over whelmed by it. I cleaned her room and donated some toys and things. We already had 2 bookshelves and a toy box. Then I went out and bought a bin organizer. They are at Target, Walmart, and Toys R Us. Ours has a small wooden frame and 12 plastic differnet colored and sized open bins. All of her smaller items go in the bins purses,jewelry,McDonald toys,balls,puzzles,dolls,etc. It is easy to see what is in each bin. The bins are easily removed filled and replaced. I like this because I can pull out the bin and say put all your jewelery in this one and she can carry it with her and fill it up. It is faster and more fun than having to pick up a toy and walk it to a toybox. It is less messy. Instead of emptying the whole toy box to find a certain toy, she goes to the bins and can see and pick what she wants. I got rid of the toy box. Books and larger toys go on the book shelves, the smaller toys in the bins. When I play with her we play with a bin and the rule is we have to fill up and put that bin back before pulling out the next one. Kids are kids and things still get messy. To keep things from going from messy to disaster, at night before we read books, we pick up her room together. Even if we miss a night for some reason, it doesn't seem as overwhelming. This is working for us right now. I hope this helps! :o)
Oh, I noticed you are a working mom of 3. Your plate is pretty full. I would try to enlist help from your hubby and whoever else watches the kids for you. It can be overwhelming to implement a plan and not have everyone on board helping out. My mother in law babysits while I'm at school. She would let my DD pull out anything and everything to play with and by the time I came home at 10:15 pm the floor of the living room, hallway, and my DD's room would be covered with toys, books, puzzles, everthing. Then she would trot out the door and leave me with the mess. It was sending mixed signals to my DD about cleaning up. By the time I got the house back in order and my DD back on track, I needed my mother in law to baby sit for school again. Exhausted and overwhelmed my husband and I sat down and talked with her. Now she is on board as a team player. So make sure you have your teams support! Best of luck!

Check out FLYlady!

It's an online group started by a woman who took control of her house, 15 minutes at a time. She'll send out emails w/ small steps for organizing....and has a program designed for children called House Fairy.

It's free....and effective. Go to flylady.flylady.net to check it out (FLY stand for Freely Loving Yourself)

Good luck!

C.

Hello:

I have had the same similar situation with my son.

As a single parent, I receive many ideas from family and friends. A friend suggested I try laundry baskets to sort out toys in different categories.

I was visiting HOME DEPOT when I came up with a great idea. They had the blue RUBBERMAID tubs with lid on sale for 3.99. I purchased 6 tubs.

I separated books, cars, learning toys, puzzles etc. and stuck them into each box!!!

This is great because you can allow your child to pull out one tub at a time and use the stuff in each one, then turn around and have them put everything back into that tub before preceding to the next!!!

It allows them to feel as though they have the freedom to choose which stuff to play with, then gives them a chance to contribute by pickin up!!!

It also helps to show them that you are there to help when you can!!!

Suerte,

Jay in California

Hi, C.;
My daughter and son were the same way...what worked for us sounds painful but it is worth it! Weed through her stuff. I would recommend giving her a brief explanation (We have too many things to fit in our rooms! See the bag of things mommy is going to give to people with nothing in their rooms? Now mommy will get a bag ready from your room.) You judge whether she can help you or not. Some kids like doing this sorting stuff, others it is better if they go over to a friends' house or something and mommy has a surprise for her when she gets home. ("Look, Mommy fixed up your room for a present! I put a new horsie in where all the horsies go now. Can you find him?") I periodically did this with my kids and still do...only I don't include the trading 15 old toys for one new one, as they are 14 and 17. I just say "It's time to go through our stuff again." Although sometimes a new article of clothing is included! J.

SHE's a 3 year old! You will probably be dealing with it when she is a teenager too! Very normal. You will have have to be consistant with her for another 15 years. I was that way and my brother was very neat and everything had its place. Good luck.

I think 3 is very young to expect her to keep the room clean by herself. When it's time to clean, you could say "I'll put away the books, you put away the stuffed animals." Maybe even make it about who is fastest. Give her the jobs that can be thrown into the baskets or toy box.

Help her accomplish one thing at a time. Say for a few weeks, all she's responsible for is placing her books on the shelf neatly. Once she feels a sense of accomplishment, she may not feel so overwhelmed. Then the next few weeks, add another task. Maybe placing her dirty clothes in a basket when she takes them off. And so on and so on. She'll feel satisfaction and so will you. Remember, they learn by watching us. Help her to get in the habit. Good luck!

N. in Alameda

I'm a professional organizer and a mom of 2 4 year olds. The first rule (with adults or children) is to control how much comes into the house. Starting now, don't buy any more toys (or allow anyone to give her any) until she sorts through what she has and gives some things up. She's not too young to make hard choices - if she really wants a new princess dress-up kit, she has to give up the McDonald's dolls (or whatever). For birthday gift ideas, encourage relative/friends to give her a membership to the zoo or Fairytale Town or somewhere she likes, or lessons for dance, art, music, whatever. These are things of value that she can enjoy but that don't clutter up your house. Next, set up a system for housing her toys/books/clothes where you keep like things together - designate a place for everything and make that the routine. You can put pictures of the things that go into each container on the front so she can see them, or you can just label them or whatever. And now is the time to get her into the routine of not getting to play/go to bed/do whatever fun thing until she picks up the other thing she's been playing with. Make it a habit that clean-up become part of the bedtime routine. It can be fun too - work with her to get it done and even make it a competition. But make sure you get it done. Once you've established the "home" for each item, then both of you get used to delivering that item back to its home every night, things will be a lot less stressful. Oone other thing about designating a home for something - it has to be easy to use. Make the "putting it away" part easier than the retireval part. In other words, kids will dig through a full basket of stuff to find that one favorite toy, but they won't take the time to put it away in something that is inaccessible. So, whatever you choose to house something in, make sure it's easily accessible to use for putting it away, even if its' not as easy to retrieve stuff from it.
Now's the perfect time to instill these organizational principles for her. And maybe some will rub off on the adults in the house too!
Here's to living clutter-free!

don't expect to much from a 3 year old. All 5 of my kids needed to be "trained" to clean right. Every night before their bath I would help them clean. Making a game out of putting things in the right place the fastest always seemed to work great. Right around 4 they were great cleaners on their own. Now they all know that their rooms have to be clean before bed and I don't even have to ask.

She has too many things. Just think, you can only play with one thing at a time. I am not saying to get rid of all of her toys but pack them away. At three years old telling her to clean her room is like saying go pain your house. She doesn't need all her shelves full just a few things and she will still be loved. It sounds to me like she is very frustrated too. It works great in my home and the children like to have a place for everything. Have fun with her and this is not a punishment it's fun.

Have you tried to label the places she puts her things? I took pictures of my kids favorite toys and labeled the boxes we already have. That seemed to help a lot. Also rotating the toys in and out makes it seem like she has new toys. You can do that without spending that much money (only on taking the pictures)

N.

Try going through and cleaning it once yourself. Make sure there actually is a place for everything. If there isn't, buy a few medium sized tubs to hold the extra toys (easiest of organized by type...dolls here... puzzles here etc).
Once it's done take her through and show her where to find each toy.

At this point you'll need to change the rules about clean up. Tell her that each activity needs to be put away before moving on to the next. It will take her about 10 seconds and avoid the disaster at the end of the day. Then before bed time, take a few minutes to make sure everything is in its right place.

The key here is making sure that you actually have a place for each item.

HTH
T.

I would try reducing the amount of stuff she has to manage. Start by removing half of what's there and see if her habits improve. If it still looks like she's having trouble, remove some more until it looks like she's got it. If that doesn't work, I would start "permanently" taking things away as a consequence of her not getting with the program. Of course you need to let her know exactly what the expectations are. Start small and increase as she can handle it.

Good luck.
J.

I agree that a 3 year old is a little too young to be expected to clean up her/his own room. However, I don't think it is too young to begin teaching how to clean up. Don't expect your daughter to do it perfectly, she may only pick up a couple toys, put them away, and then get distracted. And that's a start! My three year old loves to take out all her shoes from the closet and by the end of the week every pair is on the floor of the bedroom. So we have to stop and put them away together... She's getting the hang of it and even surprised me last week when she put them away all by herself. Start small, by giving her a specific chore, like putting just the stuffed animals away, then move on from there. Also, if she is overwhelmed by the amount of toys, you could try putting some of the bins of toys away in a closet or garage and then "rotating" the bins every few weeks. Good Luck!

I agree that 3 is a bit young to expect organizational skills. At least she is trying to put things away. Make sure you keep it fun & don't insist on perfection or it will backfire on you. Let it go if it becomes too stressful and unpleasant. I find at any age, singing a clean-up song is irresistible - at least to my 16 month old and 5 year old. All I have to do is stand in the doorway, sing a few lines, and the kids spring into action. We kept 2 baskets - a "people basket" and an "animal basket" for little toys. The rest in a toy box. Larger dolls, books etc on shelves. The toys that tended never to be played with I put away in the closet or gave away. Less is so much easier!

Hi C.,
I have two suggestions. The first is to pare down her possessions by giving some away to a Goodwill type place. This will teach her the good value or helping others while making your life easier. Have her help you pick them out (or if she won't then you make the decision) and then have her accompany you to the place to donate them.
The second suggestion is: when it's time to put her remaining toys, books, etc. away tell her that you will help her (maybe sing a fun song as you do it) and that anything that doesn't make it into the box (or bins or whatever you use)in a certain time frame (like one minute) is gone. And then donate those things too. She will get the point fast and her room will be less cluttered. Kids really need relatively few "things".
Hope this helps,
L.

That was me all through my childhood. My mom tried everything. Now as an adult we have realized that clutter was comforting to me and knowing where things are (even if I know they are on the floor) was very important. When my mom cleaned for me, I was always looking for things and ALWAYS felt dissorganized. I'm neat and clean now, but atill cant stand having someone else clean my things for me. When I'm leaving my moms house after a visit, she will pick up my kids things and try to hand them to me and I get soooo frustrated. I need to do it my way and in my order.