3-Year-old Wants Me to Be Happy

Empathy, is not in intrinsic ability in young children. It is learned. Your are VERY fortunate, that your little boy has empathy. My daughter is the same way, and my son seems to be going in that direction too, although he is only 21 months old.

This may be his "strength" as he gets older... use it as a "strength". Too often, boys are expected to be "strong and silent." Please... do not "silence" this character in him. There are good books on raising boys... one is "Raising Boys" and "Raising Cain" it can be found at www.amazon.com

Don't fear this ability in him. Nurture it. As he gets older..."teach" him the ability to discern people's "intentions" and to use wisdom in who he interacts with.

For my girl, because she is naturally this way, and as she got older... we taught her that not all people will "appreciate" her good heart... that she must be wise in who she gives to....and cares for. Sometimes people will "use" your good intentions for bad reasons. We have taught my girl to use "discernment" in choosing friends etc. So far... she is very wise for her age... she has chosen friends very well for her age, and can tell the difference in peoples hearts, for good or bad. We are proud of her and we tell her that.

THIS will be your task, in teaching your son a foundation, and what character is all about. Your son loves you, and is very caring... you are lucky. My daughter often "cares" for me this way too... but it's okay. Just make sure he does not get "stressed" about it. I tell my girl it is not her "responsibility" to take care of Mommy...that's my job. My son, also at his young age...will often run to his sister anytime she is upset and hug and kiss her and bring her a Kleenex etc. He does that to me too, if I seem frazzled. It is an AMAZING sense of emotional competence, at such a young age. We never taught our children to do that... they just do it naturally.

See his trait as something "amazing"....not as a "weakness." THIS way, it will guide you in how you view him, and in teaching him about the world and people. DO NOT worry that he will be a "sissy." That is silly. He is displaying strength of character. And then too, maybe he will go through other phases....where you will miss that he is this way...and he will grow up going through all kinds of different feelings. Help him to NAVIGATE through it. Don't dismiss a child's feelings.

Be a pair of wings for your child to soar... not a muffle for their strengths. If we listen very carefully to children... they will often teach US or remind us of what is so important and amazing in life.

Cheer him on. Bless the little guy. What a nice heart he has. Nurture it. Read books about raising boys. Don't raise a boy who has to silence his heart or his feelings or expressiveness just to "please" other people. Teach him that being "unique" is VERY important.
He seems like a wonderful child.
All the best,
~Susan

Hi M., it sounds like you are giving your son some sort of vibes that you are not happy, kids are very observant, they hear and see things that we are un aware of, trying singing around the house, be aware of your facial expressions, some people's normal expression seens, sad, or deep in thought, maybe you are one of those. It is great, I think that at 2.5 yeras old is so in touch with his mom, and I think that even if he has great concerns for others( BIBLICAL) that he will care about himself as well. Sounds like you have a very loving little boy. J.

Hi M.:
I can see you've recieved some very good responses,so I will keep this brief.Because, you've conveyed to your son that there are times,(He makes you unhappy)It's now A concern for him. He asks if you are happy,to find out if (HIS behavior) is PLEASING YOU.It's important for your child to see your happy,and if he believes,that he is the cause of your sadness, he will ask over and over, to be sure,that he's making you happy.The very best to you, and your charming son.

I find my 2 year old concerns herself with my tone. Sometimes we don't realize our tones or looks. They are very sensitive and sense any tensions. I know I am sometimes tired and may sigh or take a deep breathe and she asks what's wrong. I am not sure if this is the case for you, but my first instinct says it is. When I hear that from her, I think it is a perfect opportunity to shake things off and have fun with her.