3 Almot 4 Year Old and Chores

Updated on July 22, 2011
V.D. asks from Smithfield, UT
10 answers

My daughter will be 4 in 4 months. I think she's old enough to start helping out. That's a good way to in cooperate a allowance too. What things do you think would be good for this age? So far all we've had her do was pick up her toys before bedtime and if she helps and is happy about it she'll get 10 pennies. Doesn't sound like a lot, but she's ecstatic. She get to count them as she's putting them in her piggy bank and once a month I take her to the bank to have the coin counter count them. We then go to the dollar store and let her pick out what ever she wants. Isn't 3 a great age. So simply pleasures. I wish that $3 a month made me that happy. I'd like to teach her to be responsible. I'd like to hear your ideas on chores, allowances, and teaching responsibility.

Thanks Ladies.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

Mine is also 3 and my oldest is 5. The 3 year old does this, my 5 year old does a little more:

Clears the table after dinner (not all, just spoons/cups and such)
Puts silverware on the table
Holds dustpan while I sweep
Puts pillows back on the couch
puts dirty clothes in hamper
Sort laundry
Help me put clothes in the dryer
Put clothes in the drawer
Puts shoes in the shoe closet
Books books on shelf
Puts toys away (all day long, if it's not being played with, it gets put in it's organized storage so that toys aren't always everywhere)
Helps me pull weeds
Picks up pinecones in the yard
Dust
Wipe marks off of the wall or floor (like if he colored on a wall or spilled something)
Helps me cook (like get things out of the fridge, helps stir batter...)
Makes bed

Basically, he tags along as I'm working and I will hand him something small and ask him to do it, usually I have to help but he is getting better.

We don't do allowance, I used to give them a dollar about once a month, or every now and then I'll give them a coin if they've been super helpful. then, we'll go for ice cream. I don't have a set reward system, b/c then they learn to work it and I want them to help b/c it's nice, not just for rewards. But an unexpected reward is fun and nice for both of us.

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S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

At this age I like to keep their chores closely linked to them. I have them pick up their toys a lot more than just once per day. If the toy hits the floor and it's not being played with, it needs to be put away. I like to keep my toys in bins that are sorted out so it all makes sense. The cars with the cars, characters (like little spider men, woody dolls, etc.) all in a bucket, each building set together.. 3 year olds should be able to keep these buckets organized. But it won't happen unless it's an all day thing.

Kids have very bad habits of turning around and putting their dirty hands on the backs of chairs and holding onto the edge of the table while eating and jumping up and touching the walls before they are washed. They also drop their food. I want them to wash the chairs, the table edge, and the floor under their chair. So I often give clean, wet, lightly soapy rags to the children and put them to work. They know that anything I ask them to do is because they are the ones making the messes.

Picking up sticks in the yard is also an easy chore. Organizing their book shelves is a great thing to teach them. I keep light snacks around like 40 calorie frozen strawberry bars (real strawberries), and I will give them something to do and if they do a good job I give them the strawberry bar. My kids love it and they feel like they are being paid. It's a win for everyone.

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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

ok, I do not know about other 4 year olds but this is what my son helps with ( he turned 4 in June)
he helps put clothes in the washing machine ( he loves this and gets mad if he catches me doing it with out his help)
he knows his towels and his clothes go in the hamper.
he helps pick up toys
he helps set the table ( nothing breakable/my plates are Corelle)
he helps carry things inside from the car/ light grocery items
he has trouble with the broom but he is great with a brush and a dust pan
I can hand him a rag and he can help dust
he loves helping wash base boards
Now I do not insist on my kids doing chores until they are older, as it stands now the only set in stone chores are the few my 10 yr old has and the few my 15 yr old has, but the great thing about little ones is...they think helping is FUN! So get them involved at a young age and they will be great helpers through out their childhood.
Right now my 10 year old thinks vacuuming is fun= )
They love chore charts ( reward boards) I use paper and stickers but a family I know uses a cork board that they customized and use push pins as markers.
Allowances do not have to be monetary rewards you can set goals like later bedtime, extra priviledges, a trip to the park...etc.
My daughter even at age 10 is THRILLED with a trip to the dollar store or a 49 cent cone from McDonalds.
I do not pay my children to do chores, it is all about being a family and all of us having responsibilities.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Keep things age appropriate.

Do not say for example, just "clean your room." A kid that age will NOT know, what that entails and cleaning an "entire" room is overwhelming for them. Instead, have a small area or section of the room, for them to pick up.

AND you need to show them...how. In simple ways.

And, tell them "Just do your best. Mommy doesn't expect it PERFECT." Otherwise, the 'chore' may just be too daunting, for them.
Have chores, that they CAN 'attain" and accomplish.... so they feel PROUD.
That is the KEY thing, for them to learn.
And let them see how HAPPY you are, that they try their best.....
That is the key thing. So that they are encouraged, and it not being a penalization or "punishment."

I don't pay our kids for chores.
It is just 'responsibility" and I teach them that we are a TEAM about it all.
Me too, that I do chores too.
It is about helping the "family" and caring for each other.
THAT is the lesson for me, to my kids, about it.

taking responsibility, to me means, "teaching" a child, their place in a family and they are a PART of a family. Thus, we ALL do chores. It helps each other....
Thus, we do not pay for chores.
But for exceptional acts, we do. And for anything they do, on their own volition, that is more than what we ask.

If given money for chores, teach her how to save and spend.
Teach them, how to evaluate that.
Your child is young. But you can start already.
I do since my kids were 2 years old.

Let her know, that her money is 'hers.' Not yours, to control all the time. But 'discuss'... money and how to spend it or save it.
In time, as she gets older, she will learn 'evaluation' of money and its uses.

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R.L.

answers from Denver on

It is not suggested to bride a 4 year old with money---as it can set up some lousy values and failures later in life. Hugs, kisses, words of praise, special walks/times are much more positive motivators than a buck when soo very young.

Also remember MONEY does not and never will buy unconditional parental and self love.

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

I think your ideas are fabulous! My kids are 2 and 3 and they love doing things like opening and closing the washing machine/ dryer/dishwasher doors and pushing the start buttons. Putting dirty clothes in the hamper, putting clean clothes in the dryer, putting clean clothes in the basket, picking up toys and books, taking the trash or recycling to the bins, dusting, putting pillows on the bed, putting napkins and silverware on the table for meals and simple tasks in the kitchen like tearing lettuce leaves for salad, making peanut butter sandwiches and their new favorite-shucking corn! Just look for things that are manageable at her age especially if she can do it independently. Kids really do love to help and the earlier we can get them used to it, the more they will yearn to have their things in their place. They will do it without dangling carrots in front of them although I think how you are introducing allowance to your daughter is great. It provides basic skills of math and being responsible for money at an early age. We love the dollar store too. It is such a magical place for a toddler with money to burn! Hope this helps!
A.

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M.B.

answers from Dayton on

In the morning, my 4 1/2 year old picks up his room, makes his bed, brushes his teeth, gets dressed then does one of these:
sort his hamper into the laundry sorter
use the cannister vacuum to vacuum the kitchen
use the cannister vac to do the stairs
windex the sliding glass door and front 2 windows
spray and wipe the bathroon facuet, sink, and the floor near the potty (where he misses!)

Sometimes he helps set the table, but normally I just like them out of the way before dinner. They all help clear the table after dinner. After dinner they all pick up their toys. I've also had them wipe down the walls up and down the stairs where their handprints get and the wall in the kitchen near where they eat. It's so nice to see other mothers have their young kids doing chores - sometimes I feel like the only one out there.

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

At our house we do a chore chart (I have 4 kids but only 2 are really ready right now). I started chores at 4 with my kids as well and I actually pay $0.50 per day for my 5 year old and $50 a month for my 11 year old. I know, I know, you are probably thinking this is WAY too much, but here is the big picture. For my 5 year old, a per day allowance allows us to track how he is doing much closer and allows him to see the benefit sooner. At 5 you don't understand time as much and instant gratification is a much more successful technique in teaching him to do his chores.

The reason I pay so much is so I have something to work with in teaching him about money. I pay weekly with him, and the first thing we do is look at the chart and see if he actually did his chores all week, any day missed results in no pay for that day. Then I give him the money he earned and show him what he did not earn by not completing his chores. He then has to take some out to save and some to tithe, both of my boys have a pre-determined percent. And "yes" at 5 my son gets it, we look at his savings so he can watch his money grow physically (we keep it in a safe until it is enough to put in a bank). Another reason I pay so much is then he actually has enough to reap the reward of earning money which is to buy something for himself - this is SO fun for him. This also takes me off the hook for buying stuff for my kids when we go to the store, they have their own money, if they want it, they can buy it themselves. There have been many occasions where they didn't have enough money on them and couldn't get what they wanted. It is a great way to teach them to save up for things as I also do not let them borrow from each other, cash only, if you don't have it, you can't afford it.

Here is the list of chores I have for my 5 year old:

Monday - clean the bathrooms (just sinks, counters, and toilet, no floors or bathtub)
Tuesday - dusting (whole house)
Wednesday - help with laundry
Thursday - pick up the sun room
Friday - put away the shoe basket (big job for a family of 6)
Saturday - water the plants
Sunday - off

Now, he is not very good at any of it yet but he tries real hard and does not complain which makes it all worth it. In addition to this list, both boys are required to do the dishes after dinner each night, unload the dishwasher each morning, pick up their room every day, make their beds, etc. I call those types of chores "Daily Maintenance", like brushing your teeth. You don't get paid for just general tidiness.

Hope this helps, I think you are on the right track, you won't regret setting this standard for your child now. Enjoy!

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Here are some polls related to chores that may help you out to gain some ideas for your LO: http://www.skinnyscoop.com/search/chores

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

At that age, my son did:

put away silverware (hey it's just like a shape sorter, only useful :-P)
bring in newspaper (from front porch to coffee table)

About six months later, I added:

put away clean clothes (putting already folded stacks into correct drawers)
bringing in the mail
clearing the table

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