3 1/2 Yr Old Picky Eater.

I could be wrong; but it sounds to me like you are having power struggles with your little girl. This is typical. The less fuss you make about the food and the sleep pattern, the better off things will be.

Now, I'm not telling you to let her rule. First and foremost you need to decide what the bedtime is and no matter how much of a problem she gives you...you need to be consistent about it. Don't let her know if it's upsetting you. Just give it more time and stick to your guns. She may be getting overly tired, which will make it hard for her to get to sleep, too. Set a time for lights out and for thirty minutes ahead of that
time you can lay and read to her in her bed. When she's older you can let her look at her own books in her bed until time for lights out. Don't let her get your goat. She needs to know you will do what is best for her because you love her.

Now, with the eating....we all go through periods of being tired of certain foods and some do like the same things over and over again. The question is whether or not you want to cater to her special requests from now on. You need to fix the meals and put a very small amount of everything on her plate and let her eat what she wants of it. Of course, you should have occasional meals that she likes....but not every night. Believe me, she *will not starve*. Definitely cut back on her milk. Milk has a tendency to fill us up and not leave room for anything else. Some parents offer water during meals...or nothing to drink...until a certain amount of food has been eaten. My own children would drink their milk right down because they were thirsty...then not want to eat a thing. So, the milk shouldn't be on the table at the beginning of the meal. The best you can do, though, is not make an issue of what she eats...just don't give her choices for now. Again...be consistent. You can always flavor her milk in the morning with Instant Breakfast or give her Ensure for Children. Or, you can start her on chewable vitamins...once a day....if you are really concerned that she isn't getting balanced meals. Believe me, though, she'll survive. If your doctor isn't concerned, I'd try not to worry. Most children are obese these days and it may be a blessing that she is on the thin side.

Just hang inthere, mom. Things will be okay.

I have a document on file of meal suggestions for toddlers. If you're interested. I'd be glad to email it to you. Just contact me at the address on my website.

http://www.missBrenda.com

All of your advice sounds great. I have one suggetion about sleeping. Since her room is still light b/c of the light outside, try hanging a heavy material, like a thick blanket or quilt over the window. It will block the light and make it easier for her not to play, and to go to sleep. The night you do this you can explain to her that things are going to change with sleeping and it's going to be really fun, like camping! Like you already know, and everyone else has said, consistency is key. Children need some type of structure, and once she finally gives in, she (and you) will be happier for it.

About her eating, I was the same way all of my life, and I'm about 5' now. At 13, I had the bone density of a 9 yr old... my thing was milk too! My endocronologist had me on Carnation breakfast bars and shakes to help my caloric/nutritional intake. You could add it to her milk (it's like powdered chocolate milk mix and she would love it.

One day she will surprise you, one 4 yr old girl I babysat hated meatballs (and pretty much everything else!) Then one day she asked for one and loved it. I also made her nachos with black beans and chicken and she was disgusted! But, she ended up eating it and loving it, and she requested it often! It's most likely a phase, just keep trying to give her the same foods, but make it fun, and eventually she will be interested! If you show how excited you are about eating that strawberry or meatball, she may just get excited too.

About the bedtime-be consistent. If you flip-flop back & forth about the bedtime and the routine preceding bedtime then she is likely to be very difficult to put down. If she is on a sleep routine that isn't working, it is going to take a good 2 weeks or so of consistent effort to get her back on track. Is she getting enough physical activity during the day? I think that sometimes when my boys don't physically exert themselves enough during the day they tend not to sleep as well. About the eating-don't push it. Offer her a variety of foods. She will eat what she will eat. If you push other foods on her, she is likely to push back. Yes, she is only 3 but it sounds like she has a mind of her own. My boys absolutely love ketchup. So, for me, if it takes putting a little ketchup on their plate so they'll eat their vegetables, then that is o.k. with me. If the doctor says she is growing o.k. then I wouldn't worry. I might try trying new foods a game or something. Perhaphs she would respond to that? Good Luck! By the way, I live in Arlington too. If you ever want to meet up for a playdate or something, contact me!

Sounds to me like your daughter is having a hard time adjusting to Texas, too. As far as the bedtime thing, it helps to have a consistent routine. My 3 year old daughter is great at trying to put off bedtime, too. Sometimes she sings/plays in bed for an hour or so before she goes to sleep. If I have to go in there more than once, I tell her I will take the doll (or whatever item she has in bed with her) away for the night if I have to come back up. It seems to work. One day, I literally took every toy, even the toy chest and table & chairs, out of her room. I took all the books, everything. I kept them out for about a week and gradually brought them back in. This seemed to work really well with the bedtime battle...GOOD LUCK!

As far as the food, they all go through picky stages. Try "hiding" veggies in her food, or make it a game. My 3 year old loves to pretend she is eating trees when we have brocoli, and mashed potatoes are ice cream, sometimes she calls carrots cookies. Have fun with it...my little on came up with this on her own, but since it works, I go along with it! Don't let her have milk, except at meal times. If she will only drink water, give her water! How great that she doesn't like juice! I give my two girls mostly water with a splash of juice in it. We have snacks like carrot sticks with ranch dressing and yogurt and quesadillas, and I don't make special meals for my kids...if they are hungry, they will eat it! Try giving her fun things like pizza topped with lots of veggies and cheese. Also, try the veggie pastas for added nutrients. And, the whole wheat pastas taste great, the Barilla one even has extra protein and fatty acids, its in a yellow box. Also, sometimes you just have to keep giving them a new food before they will even try it. My 3 yeare old went through a phase where she wouldn't eat meat, too. Then, I discovered she liked and would eat sausage, so I told her everything we ate was "sort of like sausage", and it worked! You just have to keep trying until you find something that will work for her!

Good luck with everything! I hope things in Texas get better for you, and remember that your little one is probably still trying to adjust, too! We moved here almost 2 years ago from CA, and I know how hard it can be! It is quite an adjustment to make and can be difficult if you don't have any kind of support system in the area! Hang in there, it does get easier! If you ever want to talk or vent, you can send me an email at ____@____.com care!
S.