3 1/2 Year Old with ADHD

With my early diagnosed ADHD son we went to the school district and had testing done there he qualified for services along with his doctor and a pshycologist and an ADHD specialist giving him an official diagnosis. Yes, it helps, no he is not on medication other than to sleep.

I've been in your shoes. Our son's ADHD symptoms became like a neon sign at three and he was kicked out of preschool. We got medical help at age three because his behavior was off-the-charts despite us being good parents.

Charles Barkley is a respected source. Also look at ADDitude magazine and join CHADD.

If you're with Kaiser, they offer a parenting class for parents of kids with ADHD. You need a referral for it, though. Classes are helpful, but honestly, we didn't see any improvement with our son until we started medication. The dots in his brain just didn't connect and we couldn't parent that into improvement through behavioral therapy or parenting classes.

Medication was the best thing we ever did for him. It was an agonizing decision and not something that was presented as an option right away (exhausted everything else) but it was a "WOW!" moment when he went on Ritalin. It's like we finally got to see our real son. Same child, same personality, still full of energy, but with normal behavior. No more attacking people physically, no more spitting at others, no more running across furniture and climbing walls (literally), no more extreme defiance, no more running through circle time. Everything improved dramatically. The downside is that even extended release medication doesn't last all day, so you never fully win over this difficult condition. You still deal with ADHD head-on in the mornings and evenings. And it can take a lot of trial and error to find just the right medication, so your "wow" moment may take a while to materialize.

The AAP just approved diagnosing ADHD as young as four. I can tell you from experience, the doctors CAN help at three if you're persistent (don't downplay your concerns in any way). They can refer you to parenting classes and give advice on managing the behavior problems. You may not have the option of medication until four, but you're not that far off from getting real help.

Be very, very careful about trying diet, vitamin or other "alternative" treatments. So many aren't regulated and many are just plain scams. The best track record with ADHD is medication combined with therapy.

Best of luck!

I'm curious as to what makes you think he has ADHD. My son has always been wild. He is in non-stop motion from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed. Totally exhausts us. In a group situation he can't sit still and fidgits. But one on one he can sit there and focus and concentrate with no problems. I would have bet money on a ADHD diagnosis based on his hyperactivity. But both the ped and his speech therapist told me that if he did have ADHD he would not be able to focus one on one. After taking him for a sensory processing evaluation, the Occupational therapist told me that his constant motion was a symptom of a sensory issue and she is supposed to start therapy with him to help calm him down. Most of the kids that we know that do have ADHD were diagnosed at age 4. I agree that more sleep could help. The more tired my son gets the more active he becomes. It really doesn't matter how much sugar he has though.

I knew my son had adhd by the time he was 18 months old.

I haven't read that book but what has really helped with my son is to do things as individual tasks. For example, I can't tell him to "go clean your room". Forget it, it's not going to work. I have to tell him "go pick up all your dirty clothes then come see me". We do this for each portion of the larger task.

For school work it's a modified system of that, we work on a couple problems at a time, then go over the ones he just did. then move on to the next few problems, etc and so forth.

You can try cutting out sugar, and caffeine (although when we run out of meds, mountain dew is a life saver) and all that stuff, but none of that made a difference with my son. He was never allowed to have much sugar to begin with and cutting it out (as well as all the other "fix it" diets) didn't do jack squat.

Definitely see about early intervention, the sooner the better. THE most effective process for dealing with adhd is a combination of medication and behavior modification. It will probably NEVER go away (although some children do kinda get "cured" (although that's not really the right word) when they go through puberty and their bodies go through so many hormonal and chemical change, but that's only about 12% of all the kids diagnosed with it), so the sooner you get to learning how to work with it and around it the better for all.

Oh and definitely try to get a regular schedule down (whatever one works best for your family as long as everything is done at pretty close to the same time everyday).

Those are the things that helped with my son. good luck, it can be a hard road for sure.

I have never read a book on ADHD. Any and all information I have is either from trial and error or told to me by my kids doctors.

I have raised two kids with ADD and I am in the process of raising another with PDD and the last with ADD. Other than my son with Autism spectrum I did nothing different with my kids before they went to school. By nothing different I mean nothing more than common sense discipline.

There are ways to motivate behavior and work with kids with ADD but at the age you are speaking of there isn't.

I am only saying this because coming down too hard on a child with ADD causes self-esteem issues. To start at that young an age is just setting him up for failure.

Just and FYI my kids are straight A students without a lot of intervention. This includes the child with PDD. My older daughter has been away at college, on her own, I can't do a thing for her. She carries a 3.8. Everything she learned to cope with her ADD she learned from five years old and on.

Please let your poor boy be a child the work will come soon enough.

Oh for crying out loud! Caffeine calms people with ADD, it is a stimulant. I can't even drink it when I am on my Adderall. Sugar does not make an person with ADD any different. Ask my husband, my kids friends, no different. What makes us spastic is other people being goofy around us. Angry people make us angry, happy people make us happy.....don't ask me why but other people effect us, diet doesn't.

Did YOUR doctor actually say that? My son was diagnosed at 4 1/2 so you may not have to wait quite as long as school aged (although I know from experience a year can seem like an eternity when you need help).

My son was really helped by structure and mental challenge. Having (and sticking to) a posted schedule, giving him a check list (he had job charts starting at 2 with pictures of what he needed to do... stay in bed... pick up toys etc.). For my son, having me physically close to him has always helped him focus and mellow, so at that age, putting him in my lap or letting him lay against me when I needed him to settle down was very helpful.

Also MORE SLEEP. I know it's tempting to tire them out, but being tired actually exacerbates symptoms and makes it HARDER for them to control impulses etc.

See if you can get a referral to a psychologist just to get another set of eyes on him and someone to offer you advice.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. My son is in kindergarten now. Doing GREAT. He is super bright and now that we have him on medication that works for him, he is thriving, making friends, etc.

HTH
T.

Check with your school district. They might offer a pre school program.

FYI, try taking the foods with Dyes out of his diet (give it about 2 weeks) see if there is any change.

Also try taking high frutose corn syrup out ( same thing try it for 2 weeks)

This will see if he has a food sensitivity.

My son does not get any Dyes in food ( Red 40, Yellow 6 and blue ?) OR chocolate.. they all change his mood and his actions majorly.

Good luck

About 20 years ago a woman I knew had twins diagnosed with ADD (now ADHD.) She didn't want them on meds so began researching the condition and found that doctors in Sweden had success in calming down children with it with coffee, it's a stimulant but works reverse on them (just like some medications that normally hype people up.) She started them on half a cup a day and gradually increased it until she found a cup and a half a day kept them calmer and able to focus. Their doctor was furious when he found out she'd taken them off the Ritalin, so much so she had to find them a new doctor. But they never went back on the meds or needed to. That along with behavior modification and management (she and her husband did it on their own) got them through and they are both normal functioning adults today.

My little guy, 2 years, 7 months, has me thinking he may have ADHD and I plan to try coffee if and when he has problems in preschool which he starts next fall, it works on my 10 year old nephew and granddaughter

I knew super early on that my daughter was ADHD just like the previously stated... Before she was 2. Convincing her father of that was extremely difficult. He's ADHD too. He didn't see her as being hyper or [as we call it] "oh shiny"/distracted easily until HE was convinced by his wife [daughter's stepmom] to see a specialist and got prescribed Concerta immediately. THEN he agreed to take her to see a psychiatrist. She was diagnosed in Jan of this year [she was 7]. We tried everything to help her before she got put on the lowest dose [for her weight] of Concerta.

Like a couple of others have discussed... she's not a different kid, just a toned down, more focused version. She still has spirit, spunk, and energy. I'd suggest talking to your pedi. There's a place right here in Livonia that specializes in early prevention with kids. On Newburgh Rd, just south of 6mi, on the east side of the street. Their # is ###-###-####. Not sure what kind of insurance you have, but you may need a referral from your pedi.

Even if it's just for someone that you can talk to with your little guy present. I've seen kids there that appear to be around 4.

Since I did have such a difficult time getting DD's father to believe me, I had to work with her on my own for, well... 7 yrs! I didn't change diets [until advised by the psychiatrist], I did let her try my coffee here and there [and it seemed to work some] [and never more than a few sips here and there throughout the day]... I just tried to remain calm, kept to a routine and schedule with a nap included [mandatory], and if I started to lose my patience, I walked away until I could remain calm and keep her calm. We took baby steps with everything.

Let me know if I can help any more... I work in Livonia and live downriver. :)

I haven't read the other responses, so I am sorry if I have repeated anything. My daughter is 7 and is diagnosed with ADHD & ODD. We knew at 18 mo. that she was different. We did the behavioral therapy for almost 4 years before we came to the conclusion that her brain functions differently than that of a person w/o ADHD. She couldn't process the "cause/effect" of punishment. We are currently working on the medication route. One thing that all of the doctors we have met have all agreed on is take out all food dyes (red 40, yellow 5, yellow 6) We have been following that for 1 week, and already see a small difference. Also, increase their Omega 3 (fish oil). We do the Lil' Critters Omega 3 vitamins (which isn't enough), so we also to the Mighty Kids chews from Shaklee.

One website for reference is red40.com. It goes by category (beverages, sauces, candy, etc) and tells specific brands/products to stay away from. Some examples are BBQ sauce, M&M's, smarties, dum-dum suckers, most jello's, Kraft Mac& Cheese (we are currently going shopping today for organic mac & cheese), etc.

If I can be of any more help, please feel free to message me. Best of luck...please know that you are not alone. I have been fighting this battle alone for almost 4 years and am finally seeking other help besides therapy for my daughter. I have finally found a community that understands what I am going through and has lifted an unmanageable weight off my shoulders.

Cut out the caffeine and sugar. Also, I would nearly eliminate tv, video games, and overstimulating environments. Lastly, he needs sleep. I know he probally doesn't seem to, but he does. :-0).
I would contact your area's Early Intervention program. If it is that obvious, they can get his help started now. They come to your home or daycare.

I think there may be a fine line between ADHD and spoiled or just plain wild...how can you tell which is which? Either way I feel for you...just make sure you are in charge and don't let the child run you. Good luck.