3 1/2 Year Old, Potty trained...now Wetting Himself

Updated on March 30, 2008
C.R. asks from Kingsville, MD
18 answers

My 3 1/2 year old son has been fully "day time " potty trained for months. Over the past 4-5 days he has been having "accidents" wetting himself. When he was training he would let me know right away if he wet himself...now it does not seem to bother him at all. He attends day care 2 days a week, and already this week he has had 3 "accidents" in 1 day. I am quickly losing patientce...since I don't quite understand why this is happening.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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So What Happened?

Hello, thanks for all the great advice!! I took Dominic to the Dr., and he did not have a UTI. The Dr. reinforced what most of you responded. This can be a common problem with newly potty trained toddlers. Dominic gets too involved in playing...waits too long..and wets himself. I have began taking him every few hours and requested the day care to do the same. They are not taking him as frequently as I do, and he still has some accidents, but I have noticed improvement. I am also working hard to maintain positive attitude, and not lose my patientce!!
Thanks again!

More Answers

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M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Contact your pediatrician, children regress in their behaviors for many reasons: fatigue, stress, emotional stress; but your son may just be having a treatable medical problem. The pediatrician will be able to assess the cause of the problem.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

He could have a urinary or bladder infection and can't tell that he needs to go until its too late. Has he had a checkup lately?
M.

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V.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My 3 1/2 yr old son does the same thing. I notice he usually doesn't feel the urge to go until he's started tinkling in his underpants, so getting to the bathroom is always an emergency. We try not to punish or make him feel bad, but we are losing our patience. At school he only has accidents during naptime. So far, we've had the most success by scheduling bathroom breaks every couple of hours or looking for signs (moving around like he needs to go, etc) instead of waiting for him to feel the urge. Not a solution, but the pants stay dry.
We notice he has mnore accidents when he's overtired or when the daily routine changes significantly (vacations, etc).
He also refuses to pee in the morning. His pull ups stay dry at night, only to be filled when he wakes up. How do I get him to use the toilet in the AM consistently? Do I have to reward every time?

A little about me: I have two kids, 3 1/2 boy and 11 month old girl. I work part-time.

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J.P.

answers from Norfolk on

I went through that with my daughter and after several heartfelt (and useless) chats I resigned myself to regressing back to pull ups. Well, she was not thrilled with this and made the choice herself to go back to regular underpants. Yay! I do still need to remind her sometimes that it has been a while since she went. Maybe you could ask your childcare provider to remind him a little more frequently while he is there especially through this phase. I know my daughter sometimes gets so preoccupied with playing that she doesn't want to tear herself away to go potty so I need to be pretty insistent that she at least tries to go. I let her know she doesn't have to go but she does have to sit there for a minute. Usually that yields something. I hope any of this helps you. Take care and good luck.

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A.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi C.

Not sure how long your little boy has been potty trained. But my little boy has been potty trained for about 2 months now and he too usually really good at telling us when he needed to go -in the last few weeks we too have had accidents - we have noticed that it is usually when he is busy playing and doing something he really wants to do and he forgets or doesn't want to take the time to stop to go potty. Just other day he was in the basement and he didn't want to go up to go potty because he thought that if he went up he wouldn't get to come back down to play. so for now we make sure that we make a point to go potty before he gets really involved in anything. I know this is not much help but thought it would let you know you are not alone -- it is frustrating when they were doing so well then all of the sudden they slide back. take care A.

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A.A.

answers from Washington DC on

My 4 1/2 year was potty trained around 3 years old. He still sometimes will have accidents (usually at night though) when he has hit a growth spurt. It lasts a couple weeks and then goes away.

It also might be that is the little one doing something, like hitting milestones, that he's been getting a lot of attention for? It might be an attention thing.

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B.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Sorry if you get this twice- computer bounced off line.

Call the pediatrician and make sure he does not have a uriniary tract infection. Could be an allergy too. Might be jealous of baby brother. He loved the few minutes of diaper time with you- might be trying to get it back. Might have a problem at day care.

Rewards are always great too. Favorite cookies for staying dry, time with mommy alone...etc....

Common in boys to reverse this too......you will all be O.K.

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hello, My name is L. and I wanted to offer my advice because my daughter (3.5) is also potty trained and she started having accidents out of no where, I do know that kids will sometimes go backwards but come to find out my daughter had a urinary track infection and was given an antibiotic, but you may want to take him to his pediatrician or there may not be anything medically wrong with him.

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Y.G.

answers from Washington DC on

I know that my son - 26 months - has the same issue right now, and I was told that they are testing their limits for how long they can hold it before they have to go. Another friend told me what worked with her son (now 5) was to tell him that the pause you feel after the initial "gotta go now" sensation is God's (or your body's) way of letting you know it's time to head to the bathroom. I'm practicing my patience on this one because we went from 90% potty "catches" to 90% misses. Good luck!

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B.R.

answers from Washington DC on

It's always wise to call your pediatrician as a start. These setbacks are normal--they happen to most kids. It can be a lot of things--control, response to some upheaval or stress, etc. Don't get upset (though I know all that extra laundry IS frustrating!). Reinforce the responsibility to handle his toilet needs. Get him involved in doing and putting away the laundry that he's created. (We started my twins on folding when they were 4--you can at least get him involved in sorting, loading, pushing buttons, etc.). Yes it's even MORE work for you, but it's an investment in not only getting him to manage the consequences of his wetting, but starting to take on more responsibilities. Stay consistent! Good luck.

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K.H.

answers from Norfolk on

Perhaps there is an issue at day care.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

hi C.,
i know it's frustrating, but kids frequently don't learn in a linear fashion, ie they don't just get it and then never have to revisit it again. backsliding is quite common, and the most important thing for you to do is to hold onto that eroding patience!
and keep a sense of humor. you'll need it when your 2 year old hits this phase......
;) khairete
S.

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Think...did his schedule change in some way? Is he having trouble with any of the kids in day care? Is he going through mommy withdrawal? These things can cause setbacks. But don't get discouraged. He's still young. Meanwhile... try the reward method. Everytime he has a "dry day" give him big praise and give him stickers to put on a calender at home.
Then at weeks end add up the stickers. If there are three or more "dry days" take him to the Dollar Store to get a toy. I
hope this helps. Just remember... Three or more--Dollar Store!

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi C.,

Have you talked to your pediatrician or the nurse in his office?

Some resources are http://Attachmentparenting.meetup.com

Dr. Katharine Leslie, a child development specialist at

____@____.com

He eventually will grow out of this with time and patience.

Good luck. D.

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S.H.

answers from Washington DC on

C.-

Your story is almost exactly like mine! If you haven't already been to the pediatrician, go NOW! My son had a minor medical problem called a bowel impaction. It takes time to fix and is not serious, but the sooner the doctor finds it the less time it will take to fix... and the less frustrated you will be :) My pediatrician said it is often a case of a child trying to control his environment when so much seem beyond his control. Chances are, you've got a smart boy there who has decided to rule his own little world :)

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M.A.

answers from Washington DC on

Usually accidents happen when they are holding back #2. So, a lot of your advice is helpful. We would have toilet time after lunch with my son, while my daughter was napping. It was "our" time...I would read or tell stories...he would get 5 "poop rocks" (mini-m&ms), afterwards we'd do a page in his sticker book.

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M.G.

answers from Richmond on

Have you had him check by his docotr or an uriologist? There may be something going on with his bladder where he has a difficult time controlling. On the other hand, I know my son went through the same thing every time he goes through changes.

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J.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi C., Sometimes bed wetting or day time accidents in our young ones will occur from problems our situations that they are dealing with. You may want to talk with your 3 year old to see if something is bothering him i.e. someone teasing him at school, or maybe is he comfortable with being at school or, etc. Also, there is a medical condition where the body grows faster than the bladder and may cause such incidents. I have a 10 year old who still wets the bad from time to time. It comes from life changes...He is at the age where he is being impressed by other little girls, so you get the idea. But anyway, I don't let my 10 year old drink anything after 6:30pm because he goes to bed between 8 and 8:30pm. This keeps his bladder from getting too full at night, to the point where he can't wake himself up. Don't worry, he is just 3. Boys go through those changes, but girls can be worst. Have a bless day.

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