Such a lovely subject to discuss but we could use some advice. My 3.5 year old son has been potty trained for about a year. He however has never quite got the "poop" training down. He hasn't been able to give us advance notice of when it is time to go. We usually catch him squatting or with a strange face or he will tell us once he starts going. He is upset by it and I know he is trying but he is holding it in (small streaks throughout the day before he will finally go ALOT (and firm) when we have him on the toilet for the xth time). We have tried going naked from the waste down, big boy underware and poop prizes but with no real success. How do you teach a child to know when it is time to go and to not hold it? I'm afraid my explanations haven't worked and we are currently using pull ups since he is in daycare part time.
He does know when he needs to go. If he has the time to squat and/or make strange faces, he knows. I apologize as I can't offer any advice on how to get him on the toilet. I was fortunate and didn't have this particular issue.
Good luck!
My son did not want to use the toilet to poop either. He would go into his bedroom find an old diaper and put it on. It took us a little while to figure it out,the reason why he did not want to use the toilet was that he was splashed by the toilet water once, and he did not like it. We then started using a layer of toilet paper immediately when he needed to "go", he watched us put the paper on the water, and it floated,so that he would not be splashed. It worked! Give it a try. Good luck!
I agree, talk to your doctor.
I would also let him stay in pull ups and write down when he poops in them. Then take that schedule after a few days and see if there are times that match, if so, then put him on the potty during that time.
Ask him what he wants........give him a goal.....if you go potty in the toilet all day, what would you like to have? Keep it small so you can build up to 2 days and then a week.......each prize getting better.
Set small goals......he should know when it is time, and you can keep asking him as well.....but if you keep a schedule, that will help.....if he has any type of schedule that should help.
Good Luck.......
Have you talked to your Dr? Make sure there is nothing wrong with his bowels...his poop should not be hard. It should not be hard to pass stool so that he is straining. Make sure he is getting enough fluids and fiber. Don't worry too much..I know it is hard. I have one 3 year old twin who is trained and the other likes his diapers and wants one to poop in- he is not poop trained either. But I know he will not go to school in pull ups- he is just slower than my other boys :)
PS I am a nurse!
I just recently read a book about this and the gist was that boys take longer to have actual muscle control especially of the bowel and your still within the normal time range, up to four. Just try to be patient, kind and consistent. Praise any positive effort and success and don't pay any attention especially negative attention to mistakes which are bound to happen. Boys sometimes can't even feel it there and don't realize they need to go till its too late, but he will eventually and he'll appreciate your patience and kindness!!
He might be constipated. Try increasing fiber slightly until BM become more normal. He may not be holding it so much as it won't come out and it hurts. The marks are usually from poop trying to come out around the lodged portion
At 3-1/2 years old you can start to use some peer pressure. Compliment other boys when you see them using the toilet correctly (you can say something like, "wow- that little boy is doing a good job!"). Kids really want grown-ups to notice and compliment them, so if your son hears you saying something postiive about another kid, he will want to hear the same about himself. Your day care provider should understand this and should work with you. Especially if there are other kids there his age who are already pooping on the toilet. Both of you should give lavish positive attention to good behavior and shrug off bad behavior with a "you'll do better next time" attitiude.
Read stories about poop - yes they exist. My favorite is "Everyone Poops." It takes the pressure off (so to speak), that pooping is natural and we all do it!
This is what worked with my first, although it's failing miserably with #2. :) My first was a pretty regular boy--when he was in diapers. He would pretty reliably go after his nap, so when we wanted to poop train him, we RELIGIOUSLY placed him on the toilet at that time of day, whether he was showing signs of having to go or not. Eventually he got to the point where he related the two--the feeling with the toilet with the ability to relax enough to go--and it worked fine. My second, however, is much less consistent (though only 2 1/2) and we're struggling a lot more.
